Two elderly men are being sought in the robgeries of the entire Niagra* stocks of several pharmacies.  Police are looking for two hardened criminals.

We are saddened at the recent passing of the Deenergizer Bunny*, best known for "going and going and going..."  The autopsy report revealed that death was caused by acute cardiac arrest, induced by sexual overstimulation.  Apparently, someone put the battery in backwards, and the bunny kept coming and coming and coming... Foul play has not been ruled out.