- 1. Which do you prefer: K-mart, Walmart, or Target?
- Targét. Many years ago I would have said K-mart, however since the nearest store now smells like burnt plastic, I won't go near one.
- 2. Are you Martha Stewart?
- No way, José. Her sense of color should be grounds for having her sent to bed without any supper. Hmmmmmmm.....
Drifts off into deep thought.
3. Do you like Martha Stewart?
I tolerate her existence. Errrr...
4. Can you tell the difference between a cheese slicer and a jew's harp?
There's a difference?
5. Have you ever been to Guadallanitajaratiajuanamaritino?
I've never even heard of Guada.. Guada.. oh whateveritscalled.
6. Did you drink the water there and do odd things afterwards?
I'm constantly being told that I do odd things.
(shrugs)
7. Are you in love with Orville Reddenbacher?
He is the secret love of my life.
Giggles like a school girl.
8. Are you in love with Bill Clinton?
Ewwww.
9. Are you in love with Hillary Clinton?
Double Ewwww.
(shutters)
What's with these love questions?
10. Do you enjoy cigars?
Smoking stunts tentacle growth.
11. Do you prefer Hershey's Kisses or Hugs? With or without Almonds?
Hershey's Kisses without Almonds.
12. Are you an Almond Joy or Mounds?
Mounds, all the way, baby. The dark chocolate, the coconut and lots of sugar. Mmmmmmmm...yum.
13. Which number do you like best: 14 or 48?
48. Just one good looking number.
14. Have you ever been to Green Acres? Did you meet Arnold?
I've seen the show once. It sent me into convulsions.
15. Is your real name Bertha Ulene?
Nope.
16. Since awwa forgot to ask, Have you ever been cow tipping?
It is all part of the fun known as Alien Cow Mutilations.
(evil smile)
17. Do you like Disco Music?
Yes.
(sigh)
18. Who is studlier: Eric Estrada or John Travolta?
Eric "Ponch" Estrada, no contest.
19. Would you rather dirty dance with Patrick Swayze or John Travolta?
Patrick Swayze. I'm just not a Travolta fan.
20. Have you ever contracted Saturday Night Fever and put on wild clothes patterned with neon coloured flowers and danced on the kitchen table with the radio blaring disco music, but it wasn't a Saturday night?
I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that I may incriminate my self.
After several minutes of a stare off, the Interviewer throws popcorn at the alien and runs like mad.
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