1,000,001 Things I Wish I Had Said
First
Had ex-Kaiser Wilhelm received chiropractic adjustments for whatever
abnormal conditions from which he was suffering, the World War would have
been averted.
Charles B. Loftin
Half a man's life is devoted to what he calls improvements, yet the original
had some quality which is lost in the process.
E. B. White
Half the lies our opponents tell about us are not true.
Sir Boyle Roche
Have we gone beyond the bounds of reasonable dishonesty?
CIA memo
Hawaii is a unique state. It is a small state. It is a state that is by
itself. It is a--it is different than the other 49 states. Well, all
states are different, but it's got a particularly unique
situation.
Dan Quayle on the universal health care plan in Hawaii
. . . hazards are one of the main causes of accidents.
from the U. S. Occupational Safety and Health
Administration's booklet "Safety with Beef Cattle," 1976
He can run anytime he wants. I'm giving him the red light.
Yogi Berra
He got me by the throat so that I could not speak and I asked him
several times to let me go.
victim testifying during an assault case
He is happiest who hath power to gather wisdom from a
flower.
Mary Howitt
He is not an honest man who has burned his tongue and does not tell the
company that the soup is hot.
Yugoslav proverb
He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.
H. H. Munro
He jests at scars, who never felt a wound.
William Shakespeare
He must think I went to the Massachusetts Constitution of
Technology.
Dizzy Dean
He smiled and let his gaze fall to hers, so that her cheek began to glow.
Ecstatically she waited until his mouth slowly neared her own. She knew
only one thing: rdoeniadtrgoveniardgoverdgovnrdgog.
from a story in the Badische Presse
He that can have patience can have what he will.
Benjamin Franklin
He that would perfect his work must first sharpen his tools.
Confucius
He who does not punish evil commands it to be done.
Leonardo da Vinci
He who has achieved supreme enlightenment is like an arrow flying
straight to hell.
Zen Roshi saying
He who hurries cannot walk with dignity.
Fortune cookie
He who is sorry for having sinned is almost innocent.
Seneca
He who joyfully marches to music in rank and file has already earned my
contempt. He has been given a large brain by mistake, since for him the
spinal cord would suffice.
Mark Twain
He who labors diligently need never despair; for all things are
accomplished by diligence and labor.
Menander of Athens
He who wonders discovers that this in itself is wonder.
M. C. Escher
He whose face gives no light shall never become a star.
William Blake
He's no failure. He's not dead yet.
William Lloyd George
[He's] still green behind the ears.
Elford Cederberg
Heaven is under our feet as well as over our heads.
Henry David Thoreau
Hell is other people.
Jean-Paul Sartre
Here comes a candle to light you to bed. Here comes a chopper to chop off
your head.
English nursery rhyme
Here lies Captain Ernest Bloomfield. Accidentally shot by his orderly, March
2nd 1879. Well done, good and faithful servant.
gravestone inscription
Here lies Jan Smith,
Wife of Thomas Smith, Marble Cutter.
This monument was erected by her
husband as a tribute to her memory
and a specimen of his work.
Monuments of this same style are
two hundred and fifty dollars.
epitaph composed by a marble cutter
Here's to your love, health, and wealth--and time to enjoy
each.
Spanish Proverb
Heresy is only another word for freedom of thought.
Graham Greene
Hey, listen. I'm a member of the NRA. You're hurting my feelings, as they
say in China.
George Bush
Hi, folks, I'm Jerry Gross. No, I'm not, I'm Jerry Coleman.
Jerry Coleman
[Hijackers should be given] a rapid trial . . . with due process of law at
the airport, then hanged.
Edward Davis
History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted
all other alternatives.
Abba Eban
History will be kind to me, for I intend to write it.
Winston Churchill
Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on
people.
W. C. Fields
How can you expect to govern a country that has two hundred and forty-six
kinds of cheese?
Charles de Gaulle
How can you think and hit at the same time?
Yogi Berra
How'm I gonna do decent pictures when all my good writers are in jail? . . .
Don't misunderstand me, they all ought to be hung.
Samuel Goldwyn
Human folly does not impede the turning of the stars.
Painted Stick, Skinny Legs and All
Human ingenuity cannot concoct a cypher which human ingenuity cannot
resolve.
Edgar Allen Poe
Hundreds of dogs have not paid their taxes.
Storm Lake (Ia.) Register