1,000,001 Things I Wish I Had Said First



A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z



You always write it's bombing, bombing, bombing. It's not bombing, it's air support.

          David Opfer


You can either take action, or you can hang back and hope for a miracle. Miracles are great, but they are so unpredictable.

          Peter Drucker


You can fool some of the people all of the time--*those* are the suckers we're looking for.

          A. E. Neuman


You can have my PGP passphrase when you pry it from my cold, dead brain.

          Adam Thornton


You can have peace. Or you can have freedom. Don't ever count on having both at once.

          Lazarus Long, Notebooks


You can no more win a war than an earthquake.

          Jeannette Rankin


You can observe a lot just by watchin'.

          Yogi Berra


You can only drink thirty or forty glasses of beer a day, no matter how rich you are.

          Colonel Adolphus Busch


You can tell the size of a man by the size of the thing that makes him mad.

          Adali Stevenson


You can't have everything. Where would you put it?

          Steven Wright


You can't say civilizations don't advance . . . in every war they kill you in a new way.

          Will Rogers


You can't win, Darth. If you strike me down, I will come back more powerful than you can possibly imagine.

          Obi-Wan Kenobi


You couldn't keep a conversation going. Everybody was talking too much.

          Yogi Berra


You don't have to be faster than the bear, you just have to be faster than the slowest guy running from the bear.

          Georgia Tech professor


You fought the good fight. You were in it right up to the beginning.

          Bruce Babbit


You guys line up alphabetically by height.

          Bill Peterson, FSU football coach


You guys pair up in groups of three, then line up in a circle.

          Bill Peterson, FSU football coach


You have no more right to consume happiness without producing it than to consume wealth without producing it.

          Shaw


You have to decide at the end of the day if you can live with yourself.

          Princess Anne


You have to take the bad with the worst.

          Dizzy Dean


You must be the change you wish to see in the world.

          Mahatma Gandhi


You need to stop and think before you get mad again. If you ever do it again, I'll shoot you.

          Judge Perry Bowen


You only have power over people so long as you don't take everything away from them. But when you've robbed a man of everything, he's no longer in your power--he's free again.

          Alexander Solzhenitsyn


You wouldn't have won if we had beaten you.

          Yogi Berra


You write with great warmth and charmth.

          Samuel Goldwyn (apocryphal)


You're a parasite for sore eyes.

          attributed to Gregory Ratoff


You've got to take the bull by the teeth.

          Samuel Goldwyn


Young men are apt to think themselves wise enough, as drunken men are apt to think themselves sober enough.

          Earl of Chesterfield


Young people, do not be led astray by the theory of voting for the man and not for the party. Vote the straight Republican ticket regardless of the qualifications of the candidate for office.

          C. J. Travis


[Your benefits have been denied because of your death.] If you believe this information is not correct, please contact Social Security.

          official letter from Medicare


Your case will be decided by twelve people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.

          Norman Yarvin


Your manuscript is both good and original; but the part that is good is not original, and the part that is original is not good.

          Samuel Johnson


Your true whaler owes no allegiance but to the King of Cannibals, and is ready at any moment to rebel against him.

          Herman Melville, Moby Dick