1,000,001 Things I Wish I Had Said First



A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z



I am glad to say that the first man to knock him down for doing such a thing was his own wife.

          political campaign manager


I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.

          A. Whitney Brown


I am not going to sit here and stand for those kind of insults.

          Rush Limbaugh


I am very patriotic. I've only committed one crime in my life.

          John Walker


I am willing to admit that I may not always be right, but I am never wrong.

          Samuel Goldwyn


I answer in the affirmative with an emphatic "No."

          Sir Boyle Roche


I believe in animal rights as well as human rights. I think that is part of being a total human being.

          Abraham Lincoln


I believe that in the end the truth will conquer.

          John Wycliffe


I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and democracy. But that could change.

          Dan Quayle


I can now march twenty-five or thirty miles a day, survive on short rations of nothing but hardtack, rancid bacon, and cold water, sleep in the woods in the cold and heavy dew under nothing but an overcoat, and enjoy myself capitally.

          Union soldier


I can't make it, but I hope you'll give me a raincoat.

          Samuel Goldwyn


I cannot imagine any condition which could cause this ship to founder. I cannot conceive of any vital disaster happening to the vessel. Modern shipbuilding has gone beyond that.

          E. I. Smith, captain of the Titanic in 1912


I challenge my opponent to give a frank affirmative answer: Yes or No!

          Abe Beame


I deliberately fumbled around [at a governor debate] and didn't do as good as I could. . . . I gave that guy a false sense of security and he fell for it hook, line and sinker.

          Edward Edwards


I deserve respect for the things I did not do.

          Dan Quayle


I didn't intend for this to take on a political tone. I'm just here for the drugs.

          Nancy Reagan


I didn't say that I didn't say it. I said that I didn't say that I said it. I want to make that very clear.

          attributed to George Romney


I do believe in smelling the flowers. Occasionally, I will take my staff out to the lawn out there and sit there and say, "Look at this Capitol, look at these trees. Smell it."

          Michael Huffington


I don't give a damn for a man that can only spell a word one way.

          Mark Twain


I don't have any solution, but I certainly admire the problem.

          Ashleigh Brilliant


I don't know what I'm doing here. I can't sing. And I can't dance. But just to be sociable, I'll fight the best man in the house.

          Rocky Marciano


I don't think anyone should write their autobiography until after they're dead.

          Samuel Goldwyn


I don't think he's ever lost a race at 200 meters, except at 400.

          David Coleman


I don't think there's anybody in this organization not focused on the 49ers--I mean Chargers.

          Bill Belchick


I don't want the cheese, I just want to get out of the trap.

          Spanish proverb


I don't want to achieve immortality through my work--I want to achieve immortality by not dying.

          Woody Allen


I don't want to live in a county that can't manufacture its own televisions.

          Ross Perot


I don't worry about the past. The homers will take care of the future. And that will make the present okay.

          Ken Griffey, Jr.


I doubt that the ancient Egyptians concerned themselves very much with payroll projections before they okayed a pyramid project.

          Robert E. Simon


I feel my best when I'm happy.

          Winona Ryder


I find it interesting how we get carried away by the dogma à la mode.

          Lincoln Diaz-Ballart


I got a phone call from Jack Warner at one in the morning. He pulled me out of bed. It's a lucky thing I was playing gin rummy.

          Michael Curtiz


I got a touch of pantomine poisoning.

          Yogi Berra


I had a great idea this morning, but I didn't like it.

          Samuel Goldwyn


I happen to be a Republican President, ah, the Vice President.

          Dan Quayle


I happen to be one of those people who thinks the aesthetics of a place are improved by putting a nice transmission line through it.

          Jo McElwain


I hate quotations. Tell me what you know.

          Ralph Waldo Emerson


I have a great feeling for the soil. My brother is the leading conservationalist in the world, and I just love sitting on my bulldozer and experiencing nature.

          Gary Player


I have forgotten more law than you ever knew, but allow me to say, I have not forgotten much.

          Sir John Maynard


I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.

          Groucho Marx


I have long considered it one of god's greatest mercies that the future is hidden from us. If it were not, life would surely be unbearable.

          Eugene Forsey


I have no doubt that it is a part of the destiny of the human race, in its gradual improvement, to leave off eating animals.

          Henry David Thoreau


I have no idea what White House statement was issued, but I stand behind it 100 percent.

          Richard Darman


I have opinions of my own--strong opinions--but I don't always agree with them.

          George Bush


I have reiterated over again what I have said before.

          Robert Wagner


I have taken more good from alcohol than alcohol has taken from me.

          Winston Churchill


I have yet to see any problem, however complicated, which, when you looked at it in the right way, did not become still more complicated.

          Paul Anderson, New Scientist


I hold it to be the inalienable right of anybody to go to hell in his own way.

          Robert Frost


I intend to open this country up to democracy, and anyone who is against that, I will jail, I will crush.

          General Joao Baptista Figueiredo


I know of no safe repository of the ultimate power of society but the people. And if we think them not enlightened enough, the remedy is not to take power from them, but to inform them by education.

          Thomas Jefferson


I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man, and I hate people like that!

          Tom Lehrer


I know the Virginia players are smart because you need a 1500 SAT to get in. I have to drop bread crumbs to get our players to and from class.

          George Raveling, Washington State basketball
          coach


I know the problems of two lonely people don't amount to a hill of beans in this world, but darling, this is our hill, and these are our beans.

          Frank Drebbon, The Naked Gun


I know what I've told you I'm going to say, I'm going to say. And what else I say, well, I'll take some time to figure out, figure out all that.

          George Bush


I love California. I grew up in Phoenix.

          Dan Quayle


I love sports. Whenever I can, I always watch the Detroit Tigers on radio.

          Gerald Ford


I made no attempt to be inaccurate, but I want to be clear I was not attempting to be precise.

          Josh Steiner


I may disagree with what you have to say, but I shall defend, to the death, your right to say it.

          Voltaire


I may have missed a committee meeting now and then and been late occasionally to our Monday meetings, but no one, sir, can say that I've ever been incumbent.

          James McSheehy


I move, Mr. Chairman, that all fire extinguishers be examined ten days before every fire.

          City councilman


I must tell you that I've been enjoying my involuntary retirement. And I sincerely hope that George Bush will be sharing that pleasure with me come January.

          Jimmy Carter


I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.

          Groucho Marx


I never said I had no idea about most of the things you said I said I had no idea about.

          Elliott Abrams


I never set out to hurt anybody deliberately unless it was, you know, important. Like a league game or something.

          Dick Butkus


I never think of the future. It comes soon enough.

          Albert Einstein


I now demonstrate the frame of the System of the World.

          Isaac Newton


I predict that exact reproduction through cloning will not become popular. Too many people already find it difficult to live with themselves.

          Jeanne Dixon


I prefer the errors of enthusiasm to the indifference of wisdom.

          Anatole France


I promise you nothing but blood, sweat, tears, and toil.

          Winston Churchill


I really didn't say everything I said.

          Yogi Berra


I really hate this damned machine;
I wish that they would sell it.
It never does quite what I want
But only what I tell it.

          Dennie L. Van Tassel, The Compleat Computer


I regard you with an indifference closely bordering on aversion.

          Robert Louis Stevenson


I strongly support the feeding of children.

          Gerald Ford


[I support efforts] to limit the terms of members of Congress, especially members of the House and members of the Senate.

          Dan Quayle


I suppose you think that on our board half the directors do the work and the other half do nothing. As a matter of fact, gentleman, the reverse is the case.

          chairman of the board of a prominent company


I think he got the stick in the nose. He broke his nose earlier, and it looks as though it's the same nose that he injured before.

          CBS sports announcer


I think it looks very unpresidential for George Bush to be cutting and running like this, but then, if I'd ruined the economy in just four years, I'd probably be hiding too.

          Clinton campaign official


I think that God in creating man somewhat overestimated his ability.

          Oscar Wilde


I think that's self-evident, but not true.

          Bill Clinton


I think there is a world market for about five computers.

          Thomas Watson, IBM chair, 1943


I think, "What are those things Christ would want me to do? Would Christ get on that plane and fly to New York and go on The Phil Donahue Show?" I believe he would, so I go.

          Richard Viguerie


I told my players that they had nothing to be ashamed of. They could hang their heads high.

          Harvey Kuenn


I told you to make one longer than another, and instead you have made one shorter than the other--the opposite.

          Sir Boyle Roche


I try to avoid looking forward or backward, and try to keep looking upward.

          Charlotte Bronte


I try to make TV watching a complete forfeiture of experience.

          C. Lott


I use not only all the brains I have, but all I can borrow.

          Woodrow Wilson


I usually take a two-hour nap, from one o'clock to four.

          Yogi Berra


I want this house overfurnished in perfect taste.

          Michael Curtiz


I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather. Not screaming in terror like his passengers.

          Jim Harkins


I want to gain 1,500 or 2,000 yards, whichever comes first.

          George Rogers


I want to hear it so quiet we can hear a mouse dropping.

          Gregory Ratoff


[I want to] make sure everybody who has a job wants a job.

          George Bush


I want to thank each and every one of you for having extinguished yourselves this session.

          Gib Lewis


I was a good marksman when I was a young man, a good actor on the stage. And now I am a good vampire. So much for our understanding of the word "good."

          The Vampire Lestat


I was asked to come to Chicago because Chicago is one of our fifty-two states.

          Raquel Welch


I was confused. I was not aware that making up a story and lying to the police is against the law.

          Goran Rasmussen


I was unhappy and unpopular at school. Hay Day's hot cocoa in the morning improved my personality. Now I am never without a flock of friends.

          Charlotte, Hay Day Hot Cocoa Mix


I watch a lot of baseball on radio.

          Gerald Ford


I will draw my sword from the hilt, and will not cease firing until I have proved every statement true.

          speaker at a Walthamstown town council meeting


I will hear in heaven.

          Ludwig von Beethoven


I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars.

          Og Mandino


I will perish this forever.

          Johnny Logan


I would not enter on my list of friends the man who needlessly sets foot upon a worm.

          William Cowper


I would rather be attacked than unnoticed. For the worst thing you can do to an author is to be silent as to his works.

          Samuel Johnson


I would take my own head by the hair, cut it off, and presenting it to the despot, would say to him, "Tyrant, behold the act of a free man."

          French revolutionary, as reported by Thomas Paine


I wouldn't join any club that would have me as a member.

          Groucho Marx


I wouldn't say that Joe has a sore arm, per se, but his arm is kind of sore.

          Weeb Ewbank


I write when I'm inspired, and I see to it that I'm inspired at nine o'clock every morning.

          Peter De Vries


I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.

          anonymous


I'd like to find the leaker and I'd like to see the leaker filed--fired. Filed would be all right.

          George Bush


I'd like to meet you
In a timeless placeless place
Somewhere out of context
And beyond all consequences.

          Suzanne Vega


I'd rather be lucky than good any day.

          Alex Heublein


I'll be sad to go, and I wouldn't be sad to go. It wouldn't upset me to leave St. Louis, but it would upset me to leave St. Louis. It's hard to explain. You'll find out one of these days, but maybe you never will.

          Brett Hull


I'll fight him for nothing if the price is right.

          Marlon Starling


I'm always fascinated by the way memory diffuses fact.

          Diane Sawyer


I'm an idealist. I don't know where I'm going, but I'm on my way.

          Carl Sandburg


I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes.

          senior basketball player at the University of
          Pittsburgh


I'm just a quiet brother getting by in this world.

          Tito Jackson


I'm okay. You're okay. Let's all be okay.

          unknown


I'm so cool, you could keep a side of beef in me for a month; I'm so hip I have trouble seeing over my pelvis.

          Zaphod Beeblebrox


I'm so naive about finances. Once when my mother mentioned an amount and I realized I didn't understand, she had to explain: "That's like three Mercedes." Then I understood.

          Brooke Shields


I'm the football coach around here and don't you remember it.

          Bill Peterson


I'm tired of trying to do something worthwhile for the human race. They simply don't want to change!

          August Dvorak


I'm very sorry, but I ran like a fire hydrant.

          Michael Curtiz


"I's very happy," said Olga, a medical student, in perfect English.

          Lynchburg (Virginia) Daily Advance


I've been trying for some time to develop a life style that doesn't require my presence.

          Gary Trudeau


I've been up and down so many times that I feel as if I'm in a revolving door.

          Cher


I've gone into hundreds of [fortune-tellers' parlors], and have been told thousands of things, but nobody ever told me I was a policewoman getting ready to arrest her.

          N. Y. C. detective


I've got my faults, but living in the past isn't one of them. There's no future in it.

          Sparky Anderson


I've got to make it to the roof before the stairs burn down.

          Shriekback


I've got to run now and relax. The doctor told me to relax. The doctor told me. He was the one. He said, "Relax."

          George Bush


I've learned that there's a time when it's in the team's interest not to say anything, and in some instances not saying anything is really saying a lot. A lot of people understand what not saying anything means, so, in effect, not saying anything is really saying a lot.

          Bill Walton


I've often said that my rats have taught me much more than I've taught them.

          B. F. Skinner


Ideal Toy Company stated on the package of the original Rubik cube that there were more than three billion possible states the cube could attain. It's analogous to McDonald's proudly announcing that they've sold more than 120 hamburgers.

          J. A. Paulos


If a guy can't get sick on a day like today, he ain't healthy.

          Yogi Berra


If all the cars in the United States were placed end to end, it would probably be Labor Day weekend.

          Doug Larson


If Cal Coolidge were alive today to witness this scene, he'd roll over in his grave.

          Massachusetts House Representative


If death did not exist today it would be necessary to invent it.

          Count Jean Baptiste Milhoud


If English was good enough for Jesus Christ, it's good enough for me.

          congressman


If elected, my first act will be to kill the whole lot of you and burn your town to cinders.

          Groundskeeper Willie, The Simpsons


If gays are granted rights, next we'll have to give rights to prostitutes and to people who sleep with St. Bernards and to nailbiters.

          Anita Bryant


If God had really intended men to fly, he'd make it easier to get to the airport.

          George Winters


If God lived on earth, people would knock out all his windows.

          Yiddish saying


If I could drop dead right now, I'd be the happiest man alive.

          Samuel Goldwyn


If I didn't wake up, I'd still be sleeping.

          Yogi Berra


If I have not seen as far as others, it is because giants were standing on my shoulders.

          Hal Abelson


If I have seen farther than others, it is because I have stood on the shoulders of giants.

          Isaac Newton


If Jesus were a football player, he'd play fair, he'd play clean, and he'd put the guy across the line on his butt.

          Barry Rice


If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.

          Henry David Thoreau


If particular care and attention is not paid to the ladies, we are determined to foment a rebellion, and will not hold ourselves bound by any laws in which we have no voice, or representation.

          Abigail Adams to John Adams, 1776


If poetry comes not as naturally as the leaves to a tree, it better not come at all.

          John Keats


If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the next morning when they wake up dead--there'll be a record.

          Mark Fowler


If St. Paul were living today, he would know Babe Ruth's batting average, and what yardage Red Grange gained, but he wouldn't know anything about boxing, wrestling, or horse racing.

          Reverend Dr. W. E. Grate


If the aborigine drafted an I.Q. test, all of Western civilization would presumably flunk it.

          Stanley Garn


If the only tool you have is a hammer, you tend to see every problem as a nail.

          Abraham Maslow


If the world were merely seductive, that would be easy. If it were merely challenging, that would be no problem. But I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve the world, and a desire to enjoy the world. This makes it hard to plan the day.

          E.B. White


If there is a gun hanging on the wall in the first act, it must fire in the last.

          Anton Chehkov


If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?

          Art Hoppe


If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? Maybe, if they screamed all the time, and for no good reason.

          Jack Handey


If triangles had a God, he would have 3 sides.

          Montesquieu


If we could read the secret history of our enemies, we should find in each man's life sorrow and suffering enough to disarm any hostility.

          Henry Wadsworth Longfellow


If we do not succeed, then we run the risk of failure.

          Dan Quayle


If we maintain our faith in God, our love of freedom, and superior global air power, I think we can look to the future with confidence.

          General Curtis LeMay


If we make peaceful revolution impossible, we make violent revolution inevitable.

          John F. Kennedy


If we're involved in a small war, we'd just go on with an extension of the present [mortuary] system. If we had 1 million dead, it would be more of a dump-truck operation. When I got this job, my predecessor told me, "They'll try to shove off planning for sanitary disposal of the dead on you. Tell 'em we'll just dig trenches with bulldozers." We'll bury them, but afterwards we won't be able to say exactly what happened to Aunt Susie.

          Harold Gracey


If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars.

          J. Paul Getty


If you can't make the putts and can't get the man in from second on the bottom of the ninth, you're not going to win enough football games in this league, and that's the problem we had today.

          Sam Rutigliano


If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well dance with it.

          George Bernard Shaw


If you could see the you that I see, when I see you seeing me, you'd see yourself so differently--believe me.

          Henry Rollins


If you don't learn from your mistakes, there's no sense making them.

          Herbert V. Prochnow


If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, let 'em go, because, man, they're gone.

          Jack Handey


If you give me six lines written by the most honest man, I will find something in them to hang him.

          Cardinal Richelieu


If you hear a wise sentence or an apt phrase, commit it to your memory.

          Sir Henry Sidney


If you let that sort of thing go on, your bread and butter will be cut right out from under your feet.

          Ernest Bevin


If you must do something at a time inconvenient for you, be less than brief, say less than nothing, do nothing more than show up and reschedule.

          V., The Mafia Manager


If you must play, decide on three things at the start: the rules of the game, the stakes, and the quitting time.

          Chinese proverb


If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principle difference between a dog and a man.

          Mark Twain


If you put a billion monkeys in front of a billion typewriters typing at random, they would reproduce the entire collected works of Usenet in about . . . five minutes.

          anonymous


If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

          Earl Wilson


If you want to build a ship, don't drum up people together to collect wood and don't assign them tasks and work, but rather teach them to long for the endless immmensity of the sea.

          Antoine de Saint Exupery


If you're going to make a mistake, you might as well make it going 100 miles an hour.

          Rick Lantz


If you're strong enough, there are no precedents.

          F. Scott Fitzgerald


If you're there before it's over, you're on time.

          James Walker


Imagination is more important than knowledge.

          Albert Einstein


Imagination, not invention, is the supreme master of art as of life.

          Joseph Conrad


Imagine waking up to radio reports that "Schools and businesses have been closed because of frozen pizza." Sounds ridiculous, but if all the frozen pizza sold in the United States each year was spread across six states, those radio reports could be true.

          National Frozen Pizza Institute press release


In a general way, we try to anticipate some of your questions so that I can respond "no comment" with some degree of knowledge.

          William Baker


In a painting I want to say something comforting.

          Vincent van Gogh


In America there are two classes of travel--first class, and with children.

          Robert Benchley


In cyberspace, the lunatics not only run the asylum, but they helped build it, which may explain why no one has been able to shut down or control it.

          Richard Kadrey


In every work of genius we recognize our own rejected thoughts: they come back to us with a certain alienated majesty.

          Ralph Waldo Emerson


In matters of style, swim with the current; in matters of principle, stand like a rock.

          Thomas Jefferson


In no way is it possible for a person to be in two places at the same time, especially if there is a great distance in between.

          Amado Guerrero


In Paris they simply stared when I spoke to them in French; I never did succeed in making those idiots understand their language.

          Mark Twain


In Reference A, the cover letter at Reference B is an error. The additions at Annex B to Reference B are already incorporated in Annex A to Reference B, and are those additional items per pack that will be required if the complete schedule at Annex A to Reference B are approved.

          British Ministry of Defense publication


In spite of everything I still believe that people are really good at heart.

          Anne Frank


In the meantime, it may be prudent for people with a history of violent behavior to be cautious about eating lots of corn . . .

          James Kalat, Biological Psychology, 4th edition


In the province of the mind, what one believes to be true either is true or becomes true.

          John Lilly


In the sciences, we are now uniquely privileged to sit side by side with the giants on whose shoulders we stand.

          Gerald Holton


In times of profound change, the learners inherit the earth, while the learned find themselves beautifully equipped to deal with a world that no longer exists.

          Eric Hoffer


Indifference is the strongest force in the universe. It makes everything it touches meaningless. Love and hate don't stand a chance against it.

          Joan Vinge, The Snow Queen


Inform all the troops that communications have completely broken down.

          Ashleigh Brilliant


Information wanted as to the whereabouts of Mrs. J. O. Plonk (Blonk) wife of J. O. Plonk (Clonk).

          Chinese newspaper advertisement


Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.

          Martin Luther King, Jr.


Instead of loving your enemies, treat your friends a little better.

          Edgar W. Howe


Iron rusts from disuse, stagnant water loses its purity, and in cold weather becomes frozen, even so does inaction sap the vigors of the mind.

          Leonardo Da Vinci


Is there life before death?

          Belfast Graffito


Isn't it strange? The same people who laugh at gypsy fortune-tellers take economists seriously.

          anonymous


"It can't happen here" is Number 1 on the list of famous last words.

          David Crosby


It depends on your definition of "asleep." They weren't stretched out. They had their eyes closed. They were seated at their desks with their heads in a nodding position.

          John Hogan


It has been observed that one's nose is never so happy as when it is thrust into the affairs of another, from which some physiologists have drawn the inference that the nose is devoid of the sense of smell.

          Ambrose Bierce


It has been one of the warmest 1994s this century.

          Richard Allinson


It is bad luck to be superstitious.

          Andrew W. Mathis


It is better, of course, to know useless things than to know nothing.

          Seneca


It is better to light one small candle than to curse the darkness.

          Confucius


It is better to remain silent and thought a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.

          anonymous


It is easier to fight for one's principles than to live up to them.

          Alfred Adler


It is impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.

          Woody Allen


It is impossible to make anything foolproof, because fools are so ingenious.

          anonymous


It is impossible to travel faster than the speed of light, and certainly not desirable, as one's hat keeps blowing off.

          Woody Allen


It is indeed fitting that we gather here today to pay tribute to Abraham Lincoln, who was born in a log cabin that he built with his own hands.

          unnamed politician


It is necessary for technical reasons that these warheads should be stored with the top at the bottom, and the bottom at the top. In order that there may be no doubt as to which is the top and which is the bottom, for storage purposes, it will be seen that the bottom of each head has been labeled with the word TOP.

          British Admiralty instruction


It is neither wealth nor splendor, but tranquility and occupation, that gives happiness.

          Thomas Jefferson


It is not enough that I succeed--everyone else must fail.

          Attila the Hun


It is not important what you believe, only that you believe.

          unknown


It is not necessary for the public to know whether I am joking or whether I am serious, just as it is not necessary for me to know it myself.

          Salvador Dali


It is not necessary to understand things in order to argue about them.

          Pierre Augustin Caron de Beaumarchais


It is not what we do, but also what we do not do, for which we are accountable.

          Moliere


It is now proved beyond a doubt that smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.

          Fletcher Knebel


It is odd, is it not, that a person's worth to society by is measured by their wealth, when instead their wealth should be measured by their worth to society.

          A. Cygni


It is the final proof of God's omnipotence that he need not exist in order to save us.

          Peter De Vries, The Mackerel Plaza


It is well to remember that the entire universe, with one trifling exception, is composed of others.

          John Andrew Holmes


It isn't pollution that's harming our environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it.

          Dan Quayle


It looked absolutely impossible. But it so happens that you go on worrying away at a problem in science and it seems to get tired, and lies down and lets you catch it.

          William Lawrence Bragg


It may be better to be a live jackal than a dead lion, but it is better still to be a live lion. And usually easier.

          Lazarus Long, Notebooks


It may be that our role on this planet is not to worship god but to create him.

          Arthur C. Clarke


It [poetry] is significantly harder than checkers.

          Gregory Orr


It requires a very unusual mind to make an analysis of the obvious.

          Alfred North Whitehead


It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.

          Mark Twain


It was a mistake. It shows a lack of politeness to kill people when the Pope asks us not to do it.

          Guatemalan government official


It was one of those perfect English autumnal days which occur more frequently in memory than in life.

          P.D. James


It won't be long before customers should be able to complete most of their banking transactions without any personal contact. This will enable banks to offer more personal contact.

          Credit and Financial Management Magazine, 1976


It's a great advantage to be able to hurdle with both legs.

          David Coleman


It's a poor artist who borrows--a good artist steals.

          Pablo Picasso


It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to paint it.

          Steven Wright


It's better to buy a $1 stock if it goes up 100%, than to buy a $50 stock that will go up 100%.

          Jim Coleman


It's déjà vu all over again.

          attributed to Yogi Berra


It's like 7-UP, except it doesn't taste like 7-UP.

          Holly Donat


It's never happened in a World Series competition, and it still hasn't.

          Yogi Berra


It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice.

          unknown


It's not a matter of life and death. It's more important than that.

          Lou Duva


It's not easy taking my problems one at a time when they refuse to get in line.

          Ashleigh Brilliant


It's not that life is so short, it's just that you're dead for so long.

          No Fear slogan


It's not true that nice guys finish last. Nice guys are winners before the game even starts.

          Addison Walker