Navigation:
10 Reasons Eve was Created Jesus Saves
Easter Joke The Service Forrest Gump Bible Questions

10. God worried that Adam would always be lost in the garden because He knew men would never ask for directions.
9. God knew that Adam would one day need someone to hand him the TV remote because men don't want to see what is on TV; they want to see WHAT ELSE is on TV.
8. God knew that Adam would never buy a new fig leaf when the seat wore out and therefore would need Eve to get one for him.
7. God knew that Adam would never make a doctor's appt for himself.
6. God knew that Adam would never remember which nightwas garbage night.
5. God knew that if the world was to be populated there would have to someone to bear children because men would never be able to handle it.
4. As Keeper of the Garden Adam would never remember where he put his tools.
3. The Scripture account of creation indicates that Adam needed someone to blame his troubles on when God caught him hiding in the garden.
2. As the Bible says, "It is not good for man to be alone", he only ends up getting himself in trouble.

And the NUMBER ONE reason...

1. When God finished the creation of Adam he stepped back, scratched his head and said, "I can do better than that."

Jesus Saves

Jesus and Satan were having an ongoing argument about who managed to get the most out of his computer. This had been going on for days and God was tired of hearing all of the bickering. God said,"Cool it. I am going to set up a test that will run two hours and I will judge who does the better job." So down they sat at the keyboards and typed away. They moused. They did spreadsheets, they wrote reports, they sent faxes, they sent out e-mails, they sent out e-mails with attachments, they downloaded, they did some genealogy reports, they made cards, they did every know job. But just a few minutes before the two hours were up lightening flashed across the sky. The thunder rolled and the rains came down hard. Of course the electricity went off. After the rain stopped the electricity came back on. Satan was angery. He screamed,"I lost it all when the power went off. What am I going to do? What happened to Jesus' work?" Jesus sat and smiled. Again Satan asked about the work that Jesus had done. As Jesus turned his computer back on the screen glowed, and when he pushed "print" it was all there. "How did he do it?" Satan asked. God smiled and said,"Jesus Saves."

Easter Joke

Three blondes died and are at the pearly gates of heaven. St. Peter tells them that they can enter if they answer a question. The question is"What is Easter." The first blonde replys. She says "Oh, thats easy! Its the holiday in November When all the people get together and eat turkey and give thanks." St. Peter frowned and went to the second blonde. She replied "Easter is a holiday in December when you put up a green tree and get presents." St. Peter looked at the ground sighed and went on to the last Blonde. She smiled and said"Oh, I know what Easter is. Its a Christian holiday that coincides with the Jewish celebration of Passover. Jesus and his disciples were eating at the last supper and later Jesus was decieved and turned over to the Romans who crucified him,and made him wear a crown of thorns. He was then buried in a nearby cave which was sealed by a large boulder. Well, St. Peter smiled with delight. The third blonde continued. "Every year the boulder is moved aside so that Jesus can come out. ...and, if he sees his shadow there will be six more weeks of winter."

The Service

"Good morning pastor" replied the young man, focused on the plaque. "Sir, what is this?" Johnny asked. "Well son, these are all the people who have died in the service," replied the pastor. Soberly, they stood together, staring at the large plaque. Little Johnny's voice barely broke the silence when he asked quietly, "Which one sir, the 8:30 or the 10:30 service?"

Forrest Gump

Forrest Gump died and went to heaven. When he got to the pearly gates of heaven St. Peter told him that new rules were in effect due to the advances of education on earth. To get into heaven he had to answer 3 questions: 1)name two days of the wekk that begin with "T". 2)How many seconds are in a year? 3) What is God's first name? Forrest thought for a moment then answered. The two days of the week that start with "T" are Today and Tommorrow. There are 12 seconds in a year, and God has two names, Andy and Howard. " St. Peter said,"Ok i'll buy the today and tommorrow even though thats what I expected. But how are there 12 seconds in a year?"Forest answered,"January 2nd, February 2nd...... "St. Peter replied,"Ok, I give, but what about Gods first name stuff?"Forrest answered St. Peter by saying,"Well, from the song....Andy walks with me, Andy talks with me, Andy tells me I am his own. Plus the prayer says Our Father, who art in Heaven, Howard be thy name...." Saint Peter let him in without another word.

Bible Questions

Was John the Baptist a Southern Baptist?
Did Eve have an Adam's Apple?
Do Edomites cause an itch?
Is the Leviathon a race where you run 26 miles in blue jeans?
Do you get much honey from the Macabees?
How much does a Pentecost?
How far can a Pharisee?
What makes the virgin Merry?
Was the sermon on the mount delivered on horseback?
What formula do you use to calculate the volume of a Sanhedrin?
How much beer can you pour into a Philistine?
What is par for the Olivet Discourse?
How many cards are in a MelchizeDEK?
Do people in the nation of Cush have it easy?