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Dumb auto insurance excuses...

Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have.

The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intentions.

I thought my window was down, but I found out it was up when I put my head through it.

I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.

The guy was all over the road, I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.

I saw a slow moving, sad faced old gentleman as he bounced off the roof of my car.

A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face.

In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.

I was on my way to the doctor with rearend trouble when my U-joint gave way causing me to have an accident.

I had been driving for 40 years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.

My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle.

As I approached the intersection a sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident.

A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.

An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished.

I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him.

I told the police that I was not injured, but on removing my hat, found that I had a fractured skull.

The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in small car with a big mouth.

I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached an intersection, a hedge sprang up, obscuring my vision and I did not see the other car.

I was thrown from my car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows.

The telephone pole was approaching. I was attempting to swerve out of its way, when it struck the front end.

To avoid hitting the bumper on the car in front, I struck the pedestrian.

I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my Mother-in-Law and headed over the embankment.

The pedestrian had no idea which direction to run, so I ran over him.