Navigation
Thoughts on Aging Wisdom for the Aging Senior Personal Ads

Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know why I look this way. I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved.

How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?

The older we get, the fewer things there are that seem worth waiting in line for.

One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young.

When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra...or pimples...or, if you're fortunate, grandchildren.

One must wait until evening to see how splendid the day has been.

Being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.

Experience and treachery will overcome youth and skill.

Old age is when former classmates are so gray, wrinkled, and bald they don't recognize you.

First you forget names, then you forget faces, then you forget to pull up your zipper.

If you learn to laugh at trouble, you'll have more to laugh at when you're old.

If you have to get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, at least you know things are still working.

Eventually you reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

I don't know how I got over the hill without getting to the top.

You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.

The Senility Prayer

God grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones that I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.

Now that I'm a "senior citizen," here's what I've learned:

1.I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
2.My wild oats have turned into prunes and All Bran.
3.I finally got my head together. Now my body is falling apart.
4.When I'm finally holding all the cards, everyone has decided to play chess.
5.All reports are in. Life is now officially unfair.
6.The only time the world beats a path to your door is when you're in the bathroom.
7.The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
8.It's not hard to meet expenses. They're everywhere.
9.I wish the buck stopped here. I sure could use a few.
10.It's easier to get older than it is to get wiser.
11.It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.
12.Some days you're the dog, some days you're the hydrant.
13.If you hurt your body, your body will hurt you back.
14.Kids in the back seat cause accidents.
15.Accidents in the back seat cause kids.
16.If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them on my knees.
17."Stiffness" in the morning has a whole new meaning.
18.I'm not as good as I once was. I'm only as good once as I was.
19.If all is not lost, where is it?
20.It's funny, but I don't remember being absent minded.
21.These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter. I go somewhere to get something and then wonder what I'm here after.

Senior Personal Ads

Foxy lady Sexy, fashion-conscious blue-haired beauty, 80's, slim, 5' 4" (used to be 5' 6"), searching for sharp-looking, sharp-dressing companion. Matching white shoes and belt a plus.

Long-term commitment Recent widow, just buried fourth husband. Looking for someone to round out a six-unit plot. Dizziness, fainting, shortness of breath not a problem.

Serenity now I am into solitude, long walks, sunrises, the ocean, yoga, and meditation. If you are the silent type, let's get together, take our hearing aids out, and enjoy quiet times.

Winning smile Active grandmother with original teeth seeking dedicated flosser to share rare steaks, corn on the cob, and caramel candy.

Beatles or Stones? I still like to rock, still like to cruise in my Camaro on Saturday nights, and still like to play the air guitar. If you were a groovy chick or are now a groovy hen, let's get together and listen to my boss collection of eight-track tapes.

Mint condition Male, 1932, high mileage, good condition, some hair, many new parts, including hip, knee, cornea, and valves. Doesn't run but walks well.

Memories I can usually remember Monday through Thursday. If you can remember Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, let's put our two heads together.