Navigation:
Our Fine Government
The Army
Iraq's Most Wanted
Words of Wisdom Against the Government
"Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys."
--P.J. O'Rourke
"Government is the great fiction through which everybody endeavors to live at the expense of everybody else."
--Frederick Bastiat, French political economist
"Government's view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it."
--Pres. Ronald Reagan (1986)
"If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it's free."
--P.J. O'Rourke
"Just because you do not take an interest in politics doesn't mean politics won't take an interest in you."
--Pericles (430 BC)
"A liberal is someone who feels a great debt to his fellow man, which debt he proposes to pay off with your money."
--G. Gordon Liddy
"A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul."
--George Bernard Shaw
"Foreign aid might be defined as a transfer from poor people in rich countries to rich people in poor countries."
--Douglas Casey (1992)
"No man's life, liberty, or property is safe while the legislature is in session."
--Mark Twain (1866)
"Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself."
--Mark Twain
"Talk is cheap--except when Congress does it. The government is like a baby's alimentary canal, with a happy appetite at one end and no responsibility at the other."
--Ronald Reagan
"The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of the blessings. The inherent blessing of socialism is the equal sharing of misery."
--Winston Churchill
"The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin."
--Mark Twain
"We contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle."
--Winston Churchill
"What this country needs are more unemployed politicians."
--Edward Langley
Military Wisdom
Don't disregard these warnings!
"A slipping gear could let your M203 grenade launcher fire when you least expect it. That would make you quite unpopular in what's left of your unit."
--Army's magazine of preventive maintenance
"Aim towards the Enemy."
--Instruction printed on U.S. Rocket Launcher
"When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend."
--U.S. Marine Corps
"Cluster bombing from B-52s is very, very accurate. The bombs are guaranteed to always hit the ground."
--U.S.A.F. Ammo Troop
"If the enemy is in range, so are you."
--Infantry Journal
"When attempting to land on an aircraft carrier, try to get your airplane going in the same general direction as the ship."
--A Landing Signal Officer (LSO)
"It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed."
--U.S. Air Force Manual
"Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword obviously never enountered automatic weapons."
--Gen. Douglas Mac Arthur
"Try to look unimportant; they may be low on ammo."
---Infantry Journal
"You, you, and you . . . panic. The rest of you, come with me."
--U.S. Marine Corps Gunnery Sergeant
"Tracers work both ways."
--U.S. Army Ordnance
"Five second fuses only last three seconds."
--Infantry Journal
"Don't ever be the first, don't ever be the last, and don't ever volunteer to do anything."
--A U.S. Navy "swabbie"
"Bravery is being the only one who knows you're afraid."
--Col. David H. Hackworth, U.S. Army (ret.)
"If your attack is going too well, you're walking into an ambush."
--Infantry Journal
"No combat-ready unit has ever passed inspection."
--Joe Gay
"Any ship can be a minesweeper...once."
--Anon.
"Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do."
--A Marine recruit
"Don't draw fire. It irritates the people around you."
--Your buddies
"If you see a bomb technician running, follow him."
--U.S.A.F. Ammo Troop
Iraq's Most Wanted
Now that Uday and Qusay have been eliminated, a lot of the lesser-known family members are coming to the attention of American authorities:
Men:
1.Sooflay, the restaurateur
2.Guday, the half-Australian brother
3.Huray, the sports fanatic
4.Bejay, the gay brother
5.Kuntay & Kintay, the twins from the African mother
6.Sayhay, the baseball player
7.Ojay, the stalker/murderer
8.Gulay, the singer/entertainer
9.Ebay, the internet czar
10.Biliray, the country music star
11.Ecksray, the radiologist
12.Puray, the blender-factory owner
13.Regay, the half-Jamaican brother
14.Tupay, the one with bad hair
Women:
1.Pusay, the promiscuous 22-year-old
2.Lattay, the coffee shop owner
3.Bufay, the 300-pound sister
4.Dushay, the clean sister
5.Phayray, the zoo worker in the gorilla house
6.Sapheway, the grocery-store owner
7.Ollay, the half-mexican sister
8.Gudlay, the prostitute
More will no doubt be discovered.