A driver is pulled over by a police car one afternoon, and when the officer comes up to the window he asks "Do you know why I pulled you over?" The driver responds "No officer I don't." The officer replies "You ran that stop sign back there." "Well I slowed down to see if anyone was coming" responded the driver. "Step out of the car sir" As soon as the driver stepped out the officer began to hit him with a knightstick. "Do you want me stop or just slow down?"
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United States of America apologizes to the People's Republic of China for allowing our reconnaissance plane to be hit by your poorly trained, hot-dogging fighter pilot, while flying in international airspace.
We're sorry we have to fly surveillance missions to monitor a country that has nuclear missiles pointed at us.
We're sorry your pilot didn't follow international standards of fighter intercept protocol.
We're sorry his aircraft recognition skills were so poor he didn't realize the EP-3 aircraft was propeller driven and flew his aircraft through its propeller arc, destroying his aircraft and nearly killing 24 American crewmen.
We're sorry your fighter pilot's survival training and equipment was so inadequate that he couldn't survive until your poorly trained and equipped navy could find him (they turned down our offer for search and rescue assistance).
We're sorry you violated international law and arrested the crewmen of an aircraft that legally diverted into your airfield under emergency conditions caused by your pilot's actions.
We're sorry you violated international law and boarded a state aircraft.

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how we laughed in the old days.......
One day, Pauline Hanson is being chauffeured to a One Nation rally in Queensland outback, when her driver swerves to avoid a pot hole and cow on the side of the road, killing it instantly. When they arrive at their destination, Pauline suggests to the driver that he should go to the farmhouse and apologise for the accident and offer to pay for the damages.
Three hours later, the driver returns, with all his clothes torn, holding bottle of wine in one hand, a Cuban cigar in the other, and swaying to right as he walked.
Pauline asks the driver "what happened?"
"Well, the farmer gave me this bottle, his wife gave me this cigar, and his beautiful 19 year old daughter made passionate love to me."
"Bloody hell - what did you tell them?"
"I said, Hi, I'm Pauline Hanson's driver and I just killed the cow"
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