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Draco The Vampyre interviews Sizzling Saucer Lady : Part II
July 6th, 2003
      For those of you who joined us for Draco's previous interview, you will remember that he was punished in unmentionable ways with Sizzling Saucer Lady's mysterious alien powers. Days later Draco the Vampyre was found in a dark alley by his friend Link with no memory of the punishment but the absolute fear of ever again doing wrong to aliens remaining.
      Unfortunately for the sad little vampyre, other forces removed all of his fears, possibly a great foe of Sizzling Saucer Lady, maybe Coyote due to their dispute. Anyhow, while the memory of the interview itself is still intact in Draco's brain, the fear is not.
      And now we, the OSSLR, have a second Draco interview with the alien visitor.
Draco The Vampyre
Again, Draco The Vampyre sits unseen in this photograph due to his lack of reflection. However, the sight of the pasty-faced undead in dusty Victorian robes sitting on post-modern furniture is quite a sight to behold.
Sizzling Saucer Lady has been rumaging through dusty boxes a books at the flea market. As the alien senses the aura of something not quite alive, she looks up to see a familiar person carrying notes, a notepad, a pencil, and several bags of what looks like popcorn.

Sizzling Saucer Lady : Oh, you again? Didn't you get enough last time?

As Draco answers, the alien, using her alien charm, fleads them to nearby chairs baking in the sun.

Draco The Vampyre : Yes, I am back again, you filthy alien @%*#&!_$, and I am none to happy with the way the last interview ended. Honestly! Messing with my mind like that! Anyways, besides the ending, I thought it was an overall great interview, and figured I would try my luck at a follow-up interview.

Draco once again lifts up the bag of popcorn, and begins to pour it into his mouth, only to discover that it is not popcorn, but clumps of dirt.

Draco The Vampyre : I hate you.

Sizzling Saucer Lady sits back, crosses her arms, and gives the vampyre (a leech who spent too much money on what was once a shiny black cape) an amused look.

Draco : On with the questions!

Draco : So, how have you been since our last meeting?

Sizz : Fine. Absolutely Fine.

Draco : Doing anything interesting?

Sizz : I'm very close to replacing Musack with Calipso covers of Pink Floyd, Yes, Rush, and other rock greats.

Draco : And how is that going for you?

Sizz : Oh, my plans are going ahead very pleasantly.

Draco : What the heck did you do to me after that interview? Even Link won't tell me.

Sizz : Link knows nothing about it. As I explained to you in our last interview, I've been looking for a person with undead qualities to assist me with the procedures from One Million and One Lifetimes of Horror & Torture, and so I used procedure number 39,421 on you.

Draco stares at Sizzling Saucer Lady, then down at his notes and accidently bites his lip. After he mindlessly licks up his blood, he starts again.

Draco : Have all the issues between you and Coyote been solved?

Sizz : They will never be solved. Coyote is a great and terrible rival. Why would I want to give up all the fun of a rivalry?

Draco : Being a vampyre such as myself, I derive my energy from siphoning it from those all around me. You happen to be the only person. How does it make you feel currently being the only thing keeping my corpse alive?

Sizz : I doubt it is me you are receive energy from. I am aware of your powers and am always prepared. Actually, the energy lift you feel may be part of procedure 401,279 that I am preparing for you. It was specific about using a vampire.

Draco really hopes she is joking and laughs to hide his scent of his fear which is slowly but surely returning.

Draco : I am currently writing a book, entitled Draco. This isn't much of a question, but I figured I would just plug the book for the heck of it.

Sizz : ....uh?....

Draco : Do you think it is okay for me to disclose to the world the affair we had a few months ago? Heh..up until then, I had always wondered why you were called Sizzling.

Sizz : Don't make things up! Not even in this interview. Procedure 17,352 will be used and will probably leave permanent damage.

Draco : Your website is amazing, if I may say so. How did you come up with the idea to make it?

Sizz : It is not "my site". It is a fan site dedicated "to me". Why don't you earthlings seem to get this point?

Draco hears Sizzling Saucer Lady give an audible sigh but ignores her question.

Draco : You keep mentioning that book that you picked up, involving torture and deaths and procedures. When are we going to get to that? I am getting impatient.

Sizzling Saucer Lady just smiles. Draco absentmindedly picks up another bag of popcorn, pouring it into his mouth. This time it happens to be a lot of water.

Draco : Hhhmm... that was suspicious.

Draco : Do you think that Globula totally wants me? I think she does.

Sizz : Keep dreaming boy!

Draco : Speaking about women, did you kn... At this time, Draco gets to make an unfortunate discovery that what he thought was dirt earlier happened to be concrete. Now thorougly mixed with the water, his mouth has became stuck together.

Sizzling Saucer Lady and Draco The Vampyre stare off for several minutes. Draco glares at Sizzling Saucer Lady, believing she had something to do with this. Draco makes a rude gesture, throws both bags of popcorn at her, then storms off from the interview, almost missing her say, "Link is such a prankster."

Alien Interviews are part of the OSSLR Network.
Beware! The Alien Interview contains subliminal alien messages.

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