Click here to go home. by xPheremone
Click here to go home. PICTURES 2

Here's more of that stuff I need to talk to my therapist about.


Couldn't Forget This if I Tried


Tastes like chicken. THE SUM OF US

He chose this role partly because he knew the same people who liked him as a White Supremacist skinhead (Hando) would get in line to see him play a gay plumber. Sadly, the infamous plumber-crack did not make an appearance. And no, he doesn't have a problem with bisexuality or homosexuality. But you can tell he's not gay - only a man would go straight from the nipple to the belt and ignore all that glorious chest hair.

Bareback, bare-assed and buck naked. HAMMERS OVER THE ANVIL

Interview with Nellie (pictured)
Someday Telegraph, 1991

"I thought it was going to be a simple skinny dipping scene. Closed set. Get in and get out. I should've known better. The first thing he said to me was, 'Steady girl - it'll be all right.' And it was ... for a while.

"Then he got on top of me. Oh it was horrible! He's heavier than he looks. And his butt just isn't that firm. He left bruises. And do you know how hard it is to act with a cold limp noodle flopping around on your back? When I complained about it, he farted on me!

"Then he had the nerve to tell the press I pee when I hit the water. It's not true - it was him, I swear! I've been in therapy for years. If I get another call from the porn industry I'm going straight to Hillshire Farms!"


There is an inverse relationship between
the size of a man's paycheck and
the size of his crotch rocket.

Crowe pre-Gladiator megabucks Crowe after being nominated for an Oscar for Gladiator Crowe post-Oscar-for-Gladiator


2 years old THIS IS:
A. Baby Crocodile Hunter.
B. A future lady-killer.
C. Mum's worst nightmare.

He Paints!


Amnesty International Mask

Medium: impasto, acrylic collage. Celebrities were asked to make a personal mask for Amnesty International in 1997.

Watercolor field.

Medium: Watercolor. Sold at auction for $200 in 2000. Proceeds benefited St. Patrick's Cathedral (Sydney) which burnt down a few years ago. A very thoughtful rendition of his backyard in the early morning sun.

Heart art.

Medium: Magic marker (seriously). Souths Beaten by the Warriors (1999) was sold in an online auction April 2001 which benefited Australia's Heart Foundation. Final bid was about $7000.


I'm so cruel. THIS:
A. Is a bad Brian Setzer impersonation.
B. Proves the value of a good barber.
C. Was taken before his chest grew into his hips.


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