|
If you read a review below and want to go to that article, simply use the freefind search engine at the top
left of this page. Either write in the author's name or title of the submission and it will take you to it.
Reviews For June 10- June 1
CRITIQUE OF THE WEEK
Note from Cassie: Although I am not going on the Boy Scout outing (LOL), I am also going to take the
week off and put the next critique page together for Friday, July 1. The number of critiques have fallen way off,
and maybe with a couple weeks backlog, we can get ahead again. Thank you for those who review regularly.
name = Derek Bracer
Narrative_author = Nine To Five by Bob Schackner
Points = 5 points
opinion of the narrative and author = Whenever I start reading a reality story, I usually don't read it all. It
is usually just not that interesting. Bob's work, however, is different. He has a certain folkstyle that is easy
to read and fun. In this particular story, the image of him above the gas truck and his boss' cigar falling toward
the gas tank opening is a great one. My only suggestion would be to work on eliminating paragraphs or phrases that
add to the length but don't add to the story.
name = Derek Bracer
Submission_author = #11 by Mandi Gommel
Points = 5 points
opinion of the submission and author = Nicely done- I like the message that just because someone else does not
return your love, you are not destroyed by it. There is an underlying, controlled emotion that has an edge to it.
name = Ivy
Submission_author = Black Wings Standing Alone by M. MaGaurn
Points = 5 points
opinion of the submission and author = I thought it was very meaningful. She took an event and made it sound like
something spiritual in a sense. I liked it.
name = chrissy daniels
Submission_author = Back by Brittany Hanson
Points = 5 points
opinion of the submission and author = I think that this essay is really good. i like the way the author uses alot
of adjectives, but she has some unclear and incomplete sentences. i give it a 5.
name = Derek Bracer
Narrative_author = Nine To Five by Bob Schackner
Points = 5 points
opinion of the narrative and author = Whenever I start reading a reality story, I usually don't read it all. It
is usually just not that interesting. Bob's work, however, is different. He has a certain folkstyle that is easy
to read and fun. In this particular story, the image of him above the gas truck and his boss' cigar falling toward
the gas tank opening is a great one. My only suggestion would be to work on eliminating paragraphs or phrases that
add to the length but don't add to the story.
name = Alice Bateman
Submission_author = Grandmother's March by Raye McDonald
Points = 5 points
opinion of the poem and author = Oh, Raye, there are tears in my eyes. Thank you for sharing this with us. I'm
so very glad you got to spend your grandmother's final days with her, and so sad that you've lost your mother {if
that part of the story is true}. I'm going to send Stu a poem to post that I wrote after my grandmother died, I
hope it has meaning for you.
name = Mike Marada
Story_author = Sam Schpade - Private Detective by Gary Gordon
Points = 5 points
opinion of the story and author = Yes! This story is sharp as a scapel and cuts right down to the bone. I have
seen some of Mr. Gordon's work around the web over the years, but THIS one really hit me where I live! I love parodies
and this is one of the best I have ever read.
name = Ra ye McDonald
Poem_author = Everyone's A Criminal by Gary Gordon
Points = 5 points
opinion of the poem and author = A neat poem that was well written. Although a bit crude in places, your work expresses
a lot of raw honesty. Keep writing!
name = Patti Dinneen
Narrative_author = Duck, Duck Goose, Goose by Bob Schackner
Points = 5 points
opinion of the narrative and author = After reading Bob Schackner's story I returned my Ball chest-waders, Gore-Tex
fleece lined waterproof winter coat, hunting vest, duck call, lanyard, waterproof hunting carry-all, heavy-duty
shooting gloves, hunting license and Smith & Wesson 12-gauge semi-automatic shotgun, in lieu of pursuing a
more user-friendly sport...chain saw juggling. As usual, Bob Schackner has brought us into his somewhat pathetic
life, and for that we thank him. Great job.
name = Patti Dinneen
Poem_author = Everyone's A Criminal by Gary Gordon
Points = 5 points
opinion of the poem and author = With Everyone's a Criminal Gary Gordon once again proves that he has an incredible
talent. His ability to change his style and genre, and do it so well, inspires me. The last line of Everyone's
a Criminal is perfect...I'm still smiling!
name = Tommy
Poem_author = Flecks Of Sand by Lynn P. Shaw
Points = 5 points
opinion of the poem and author = This is a very well-written poem. It makes the point and carries a strong message.
I enjoyed the flow as it seemed to "carry" you along in its thought. Well-done!
name = Tommy
Submission_author = The Man by Michelle Arnts
Points = 5 points
opinion of the submission and author = Well done for a young lady of her age. She shows potential to become a really
nice poet. Keep up the hard work and you should go far. Just a 'tiny' bit of work on the rhythm---otherwise, nicely
done!
name = Tommy
Poem_author = Evolution And Revolution by Jim Ciccolini
Points = 5 points
opinion of the poem and author = Excellent--a very long poem that sticks to the flow throughout! Good going, Jim.
name = Tommy
Poem_author = Save The Little Children by Nettie Torres
Points = 5 points
opinion of the poem and author = Touching! Don't we all want to live? It's sensitive to the 'call' of the unborn.
Short and to the point! Very Good..
name = Tommy
Poem_author = Complete by Jamie Bernard
Points = 5 points
opinion of the poem and author = Excellent poem. Good thought and good flow. A poem that shouldn't be overlooked.
name = Ken
Submission_author = A Love Not Forgotten by Jack Mann
Points = 5 points
opinion of the poem and author = I thought this poem brought forth some strong emotion. I enjoyed reading it, and
the passage was concise and well-written.
name = Ken
Poem_author = Save The Little Children by Nettie Torres
Points = 5 points
opinion of the poem and author = Good thought process, Nettie. Precise and to the point.
name = Ken
Poem_author = SPELL CASTER by Lisa Ferrer
Points = 5 points
opinion of the poem and author = Excellent in the thought and carriage. Everyone should read this!! Good work,
Lisa.
name = Ken
Poem_author = The Intoxication of Intimacy by Jim Ciccolini
Points = 5 points
opinion of the poem and author = Jim has done a fine job of describing true intimacy. He has the 'feeling' done
to a true art!
name = Ken
Poem_author = Save The Little Children by Nettie Torres
Points = 5 points
opinion of the poem and author = The poem brings the plight of the unborn into sharp focus. It speaks a truth we
all need to think about more often.
name = Ken
Poem_author = My Grannie by Alice Bateman
Points = 5 points
opinion of the submission and author = An excellent poem. I'll go now and check out her website. I see she has
several others here. I will read throught these when I have more time. Good work, Alice.
name = Jerry Lewellen
Narrative_author = I Heard It In Your Eyes by Bob Schackner
Points = 5 points
opinion of the narrative and author = A love poem with a plot and haunting repetition. Nicely done.
name = Jessica Sayer
Poem_author = SPELL CASTER by Lisa Ferrer
Points = 5 points
opinion of the poem and author = Interesting, Ms. Ferrer has combine myths, and facts together quite nicely. Several
catories this poem could of gone under, humor for one or childrens. I say she has done a good job and deserves
more then just a 5.
name = Jessica Sayer
Story_author = A Time To Love, A Time To Die by Bruce Longman
Points = 5 points
opinion of the story and author = I loved this story. The title drew me to the story and the content made me read
on. I liked every bit of the story, even the surprise ending.
name = Glenda
Poem_author = A Simple Handshake- Chapter 3 by Alice Bateman and Clive Michie
Points = 5 points
opinion of the submission and author = Although a bit different from my usual reading genre, this is an exciting
tale. I am too conservative by nature not to notice the proliferation of mind altering substances, albiet NATURAL
ones, mentioned to the point of almost overtaking the story's plot. As one of Indian ancestry, I enjoy that aspect
of the story.
name = Michelle Weaver
Poem_author = A Simple Handshake- Chapter 1 by Alice Bateman and Clive Michie
Points = 5 points
opinion of the submission and author = This story is wonderful!! I am not a person that can just sit down and read
a book. But I brought this up and could not leave it till I got done with all that was available!!! I can't believe
that I just read 6 chapters!!! I truely think that this is going to be a great book!!!
name = Gerald Coombs
Submission_author = Cold by Mandi Gommel
Points = 5 points
opinion of the submission and author = Very strong, emotional. I could feel the author's pain and strength.
name = Gerald Coombs
Submission_author = #11 by Mandi Gommel
Points = 4 points
opinion of the submission and author = Very good- good use of images, language. I am not sure about the title.
name = Gerald Coombs
Poem_author = Flecks Of Sand by Lynn P. Shaw
Points = 3 points
opinion of the poem and author = The rhymes seem forced which make it a little silly. The storyline is good.
name = Jerry Lewellen
Poem_author = The Visitor by Lisa Ferrer
Points = 5 points
opinion of the poem and author = I was surprised by this poem when I realized I was reading a poem about a rape.
Then, I read back through it and saw all of the little images that pointed to that fact. The Satan part at the
end has me interested. Was it really Satan, or isany man that commits rape considered Satan? Whatever the answer,
the poem has my interest.
name = Derek Bracer
Poem_author = The Visitor by Lisa Ferrer
Points = 4 points
opinion of the poem and author = I appreciated the writing of the poem. A couple typo errors took away from the
content. All in all, though, a good work.
name = Cincy S.
Poem_author = The Visitor by Lisa Ferrer
Points = 5 points
opinion of the poem and author = I was surprised by the Satanic ending. Why Satan? However, the rain and thunder
along with the rape scene makes this poem haunting.
name = Gerald Coombs
Narrative_author = I Heard It In Your Eyes by Bob Schackner
Points = 4 points
opinion of the narrative and author = The title got my attention and the poem itself kept it. Good writing.
name = Gerald Coombs
Poem_author = No More Alone by Linda Dousay
Points = 5 points
opinion of the poem and author = I am somewhat new to this sight and enjoying reading all of the good poems. This
one kept my attention throughout and had nature and life together- my favorite type of poetry.
name = Derek Bracer
Submission_author = #11 by Mandi Gommel
Points = 4 points
opinion of the submission and author = I liked it. Powerful writing here.
name = Derek Bracer
Submission_author = Cold by Mandi Gommel
Points = 5 points
opinion of the submission and author = I felt a cold shiver up my spine as I read this. I felt bad for the author
name = Cindy S.
Poem_author = SPELL CASTER by Lisa Ferrer
Points = 3 points
opinion of the poem and author = I am not sure about this one. I kept wondering Why?
name = Cindy S.
Poem_author = Bald And Dead by Emily Janiak
Points = 5 points
opinion of the poem and author = Truly a haunting poem about real life in the real world
name = Rita
Submission_author = A Baby's Dream by connie brousseau
Points = 5 points
opinion of the submission and author = I had two miscarriages and I never have gotten over them, although I put
up a good front. I hope the poet realizes that most miscarriages occur because the baby was not meant to be. God
had other plans. After my two miscarriages, I finally had a baby, then another, and another.
|