I know...you want me to comment on the Mikes...I really don't care about either...relatively. I mean, Mike Jackson...a perfect example of what's wrong with our judicial system...dude should be out of society. I don't think Billie Jean getting sodomized in a prison is going to help anything, but he definitely needs some reprogramming.

Same with Mike Tyson. He said he's done, but there's no freakin way he's going to pay off the other $30 + Million he owes without fighting...unless he comes up with his own...ummm...ice cream maker ala the George Foreman Grill...The Mike Tyson Jerky Machine...whatever. I really don't wish ill on Mikey T. Dude came up the hard way with everyone wanting a piece...you think he's not gonna be nuts. You say it's easy to make different decisions, but you're using your own experiences as your guide. If you went through that shit at that age, you may be a bit nuts...same with MJ. Go ahead, call it an excuse, but most people who put down these cats, welfare recipients, etc have never been through that shit...or if they have, most have had some external support system.

For example, I grew up on welfare...Aid to Dependent Children...Food Stamps...my mother kicked ass. (Happy Birthday Mom, by the way) She dropped out in 9th grade to have my ass. When she was on her own with two little ones (big shock) she went back to school, finished HS, went to a community college then on for a 4 year degree...on welfare...but she also had her family as back up as well as my Dad's family. I always "had". So my situation is not the same as others who are born into 4 generations of poverty and racism. And say what you want, but both my Mother and me have had relatively more opportunities because we're white...at a couple of places I've worked I've been placed into old boys' networks when I didn't ask to be. It's the real world.

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It's Monday night...my Friday...I actually don't have to get up tomorrow...for anything...when I get home tonight, someone dropped off the new Board of Elections CD-Rom at my door...all the registered voters. I'm ready to spend my night pouring over it. Seriously. But I just can't. Not tonight. I may sit in a dark room in my underwear, polishing my shotgun...but I just can't sit here going over voter registration records. Of course you know that's the first thing I'm doing tomorrow. {sigh}

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I haven't been able to get the whole thought together on this. But in the last week or so, I've been occassionally pondering the plight of the bar/restaurant waitress. I know, that sounds lame, but hear me out. I had been wanting to read Nickel and Dimed by Barbara Ehrenreich. I finally got it and started reading it. Oi! It's about a writer who (allegedly) tries to survive as a working class person...waiting tables, etc. Of course she starts off with over $1000 to start, her own car and refuses to go homeless. Not the kind of investigative journalism that gets me going. I got to the middle of the second chapter and put it away...I just didn't give a crap.

From that, combined with an event that happened last week...OK, this isn't going to put me in a good, Alan-Alda-Phil-Donahue-ish light, but f-it. I'm a man. I have needs. I have wants. Alan has Mrs. Alda, Phil has Marlo. I have Beautiful Agony. You don't know me!

E-Rod & I were drinkin' and our waitress was...is...a...jeez...I don't know if goddess is the right word...but holy crap...just simply amazing. Girl next door type, nothing huge to note except for...well, let's just say it...the most amazing white-girl booty I could ever eat my dinner off of. And she's a sweetheart. So now, I'm thinking about all the chicks in my family who have waited tables who have had to deal with drunk douchbags like us. E-Rod & I were relatively respectful, but I have to admit, every time she walked by us we looked like traglodytes...jaws hanging open, stupid guys...making nicknames for each cheek...("bam" & "pow" if you're curious).

That was my Grandmother 50 years ago, my Mom 30 years ago and my sister 15 years ago. And there were dummies like me & E-Rod...in fact bigger dummies who didn't just look...who acted like idiots and left a 2 percent tip...maybe. But I swear...no one in my family has an ass like this...not even the guys.

I think I have a shot...even though I'm over 15 years older than her and not attractive to any woman on the planet. Yep...if I get enough beer in me...I have a shot.

jeez