I understand now. It took me a night of procrastinating...just letting my mind wander. I'm at work, it's a boring night, not a lot of kids, they're all sleeping. I have lesson plans to work on and two different newsletters I should be slapping together. I just can't focus. So I'm playing computer solitare...the most evil thing ever invented. It's challenging enough to be addictive, yet stupid enough to let your mind drift.

So I have a CD in...a mix...mostly 60's & 70's. And I seriously start thinking...

"I could sing this shit. Ray Charles, King Floyd, Billy Preston...a little Frank Sinatra."

No...you can't. You suck. You have no voice. Being the Jew that you are, you even think about anything dairy you get phlegm for a week.

"Fuck The O'Jays! I can sing Love Train!"

No. You can't. Now knock it off!

For a half-hour I seriously had myself convinced that I had soul. Now when you see rejects on these reality shows...they do the same thing, they just don't snap out of it. THAT's the key...shaking yourself.

"I can sing like The freakin Monkeys. 'It's The Monkeys! They weren't even a real group...'"

No...you can't. You couldn't sniff Mickey Dolenz's nasty, week-worn drawers. Get a hold of yourself, man!

But God Damn, if I could just belt out Brandy (You're a Fine Girl), just once. Just once.

=====================================================================================

I'm psyched. A new Boondocks Collection. Ordered it like a good little consumer.

Oh, while I'm on cartoons...ten years or so ago, I met this guy named Paul Palnik at an arts festival. I was working...jeez...at the very place I am now...but making less money. I loved his posters but couldn't afford any of them, so he sold me an anthology book of his work for what was in my pocket (which was less than what the book cost). Anyway, he's online and you should check him out. I'm not a religious guy - but the stuff that deals with God is more spirtitual than religious. I let someone borrow the book and never got it back so I just ordered a new one, with a print for a housewarming gift.

Anyway, check out Paul Palnik here.

"Brandy...you're a fine girl...what a gooood wife, you would be..."

Nailed it.

At the risk of sounding like Michael Jackson....I like kids. Not in my bed, mind you, but I prefer being around kids because they see right through people's crap. If you're being a freakin hypocrite, that's it...you're done where they're concerned. If you tell a kid to not do drugs as you're smoking a joint or getting drunk every night, well, then F-you and your family too.

That's kind of the attitude the rest of the world has taken when it comes to the United States. We supposedly fight for freedom, blah, blah, blah. But then we sell (or outright give) weapons to the most messed-up, undemocratic people there are. And the rest of the world sees through this crap. So I guess you can take your "freedom fries" and shove 'em.

The World Policy Institute just put out this report. The link is to the executive summary, but if you have the time, feel free to read the whole thing - though you may want some caffine first.

There was also an interview with one of the authors of the report on Democracy Now.

Whoa Nellie!

I'll try to make all of this connect. So The War Criminal's Lie (press) Secretary says that Newsweek caused a bunch of deaths with their story on the Qur'an. Uhhhhh...like bombing 2 countries back to the Stone Age didn't? Then when Amnesty International, Red Cross AND FBI reports come out that prove that Newsweek was right, the Lie Secretary...uh...lied. Check out the Audio File of it on Democracy Now (sorry, no transcript). So now the War Criminal's administration directly attacked the mainstream media...so why won't they fight back? They're worried about access???? To what? Lies? Pussies.

Another War Criminal Tool is David Hager (I refuse to put a "Dr." in front of his name as he definitely believes his hippocratic oath is optional). So this scumbag is an appointee to the Advisory Committee for Reproductive Health Drugs in the Food and Drug Administration. Another big christian dude. Well, sparky has not only been advocating for pharmicists not to fill prescriptions for birth control, but it seems he had been raping his narcoleptic (then) wife as well as paying her for sex. Let's hear it for those christian values, huh? I guess "What Would Jesus Do" is pretty subjective.

So let's see if this shithead get's into the FDA. Speaking of appointments...niiiice job with the Dems rolling over on judicial appointments. They could have gone on the attack with the fact that the Republicans have been getting 95% of their appointments. I mean, this isn't even not having a spine, this is collaboration.

So now that we're onto the Dems...let's go local. People were losing their freakin minds this week...why? Because you-know-who was in town. Yep, the War Criminal brought his Social Security Fantasy Caravan to Western New York...to a school no less. So from what I hear, Moveon.org paid for some kind of protest (though I don't know exactly what it was that needed paying for). Dem & Dem Shill Groups sponsored a protest that was...dig this...15 miles and 2-and-a-half hours after the War Criminal's gig. Local Greens (hint, hint) inquired about co-sponsorship, but were snubbed. Other people decided to protest...like...within a mile radius of the freakin speech. That's the protest that got most of the press.

Oh, and get this...here's a report I got on the protest that wasn't....it was supposed to be outside, downtown. It was cloudy, but not raining, but they moved it inside anyway...now no one will REALLY see this "protest". I hear the two chants that were used were...(I kid you not) "We hate Bush" and "Bush is an idiot" The second one doesn't even have a rhythm! That was the best they could do. Appearently the protest was really an excuse for politicians and union suits to (unimpressively) preach to the choir. Every group stood in their own corner congratulating themselves on being there. They moved it inside because there was no way the suits could get rained on. F-You. I've protested, campaigned and other things I'd rather not discuss in the rain...and it didn't rain.

I'll paraphrase old stand up routines from Sam Kinison & Chris Rock...

I'm not saying anyone should put their foot up a Democrat's ass...but I'd understand it.

A couple of things have been swirling around my brain and I thought I'd throw them out here. If you think this is about you...well it may be, but it's meant with love, even if it's out of frustration.

[Gotcha wondering if it's about you, huh.]

Some may say this is a strength, some a weakness, but I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt when I meet a person and for a while thereafter. Now, there are exceptions, such as the "finger guy" I was talking about a couple of days ago, but generally I tend to assume everyone I meet is sane and has a clue. I get disappointed a lot this way, but this just seems to be the way I'm wired and it works for me.

So when I first started getting involved in progressive issues, I met a lot of people who struck me as being super-intellegent. They saw the world in ways I never had, knew stuff I couldn't comprehend. They spoke with a passion about Marx and other cats who I had never even heard of. They could quote this stuff, while I forget my own lyrics. (which is still the case) It was one of the reasons I continued to work on political campaigns that didn't have a chance of winning and went to protests in the rain and spoke to indifferent politicians...because I was with really smart people who wanted me to help.

Time does funny things to people. A lot of these folks have gone one of two ways. The people in one group have narrowed their list of acceptable solutions to the point where they've made themselves obsolete. The Naderites are an example. People in the International Socialist Organization are another. (there's some overlap there) The thing that separates these groups from the pathetic folks who think Howard Dean's shit doesn't stink, is that the Naderites & ISO folks see conspiracy at every turn. In fact, it's gotten to the point where they eat their own. Nothing ever gets accomplished because there is no compromise - you do what Nader says or you are the enemy. That means, cats like David Cobb are the devil incarnate. And even though where Ralph is concerned the last year has made me kind of sad, I still think Nader has some relevance.

And even someone like Medea Benjamin whose stance on the presidential election made my eyebrows go up a little...she still rocks. And just because she didn't put her head up Nader's ass, a ton of so-called lefties targeted her as a spy for the Dems. Please. While most of these people are on their computers finding all these conspiracies, Medea's on the street, getting into the Republican convention, getting arrested.

The other group that gets me frustrated and disappointed are the people who have decided to try to "fight" from the inside. What kills me about this is that when they were "outsiders" they saw how corrupt the system is and that change can't happen from inside - you get co-opted. I guess people just get worn down. They get tired of scrapping to take care of their families. They don't sell out, per se...they don't go after corporate jobs, but they join organizations, register in parties and take jobs that the establishment has deemed acceptable - thus allowing themselves to be a tad more comfortable.

These folks still are "lefties" but they've allowed themselves to have what they work on be dictated to them. Let me give you an example...

While in the past, people would be working on a single-payer health care system or ending corporate welfare they are now working to save medicaid and making corporate welfare more accountable & just. In the past, they worked for a living wage. Now they rejoice over a gradual bump in the minimum wage. Currently, progressive dems are spending all their energy over the War Criminal's Social Security plan - he's dictating what the progressives are focusing on.

The people I'm talking about know better. They should understand what is happening. These crumb they are calling victories have not put a dent in the inequitable social structure. Meanwhile, those "left behind" still deal with not having enough resources (i.e. people) to affect change in something other than a glacial rate of speed. And what are these "insiders" really getting done? The only thing they're doing is legiimizing a corrupt system.

If the loonies would take their meds and the lost sheep would come home where they belong there would be an amazing group of people that could get things accomplished. Until that happens, I guess we just keep on truckin.

I'm not going to get into the stuff about individual judges that the War Criminal has nominated. You can read about that at Common Dreams or some other place. But I will say this...

This entire issue is another perfect example of the two-party system being a joke. And if you understand the issues you would be bailing on whichever corporate-bought one you are registered to.

I love the way Dems are using terms that the Republicans used when Clinton was in office. Now the War Criminal is nominating "radical activist judges" RAJ just means, we don't like their rulings. While the Democrats are stupid, the Republicans are infantile. They don't like the Dems complaining so they're threatening to change the rules of the Senate...which by the way, isn't that sort of...anti-Constitution.

It's also pretty sweet when anyone throws in that they doubt that this is what the "Founding Fathers" had in mind. Look, the FF were a bunch of racist, elitist, bougie white trash. The Constitution is good in spite of them.

These cats are doing what they're doing for one reason only...because it's what the Party wants. Not for any values or morals...it's for the good of the party/corporations.

And I'm still trying to figure out how by bringing out bought-off, co-opted black church leaders is going to get Republicans their way.

To sum up...no matter which of the parties is in power, we're going to get reemed. The only difference is the hole.

====================================================================================

I was thinking about this, then the issue about the black church leaders brought it into my head some more...

I still can't quite get a grip on how people of any sub-group (other than white males) can get a pass on being assholes, just because of their being XXXXXX. I know a TON of black folks who are assholes. Not because they're black, but because their actions dictate they be placed in Whitee's All Knowing Circle of Assholes. Hispanics, Gays, Women, Disabled, etc. I know dumbasses in all of these categories, but because I'm a white guy, I can't call them on it. I'm not going on some white guy pride binge here. I'm an equal opportunity labeller.

I'm just frustrated that you have to say something like, "I'm not saying this because you're Asian, but you're an asshole." You should be just able to say, "You're an asshole."

But that's just me.

Yep. It's back. The finger. I went off on this before, but it may have been lost in the blog reconfiguration, but I'll give it another go.

This started tonight, when I had gotten to my fastpitch game. I was in the parking lot walking to the field when this car pulls up. The driver reached over and gave me the finger....and he had a huge grin on his face. Now, I'm in LaLa Land. Not really paying attention to who this douchbag is, after a few seconds I realize it's this idiot who is actually on my team. He's not one of the guys who I've played with for years, he's some new guy so I've known him for a total of 3 hours - I guess this is how he interacts with people he thinks are his friends. I'll bet he was a gym class towel-snapper in high school. Douchebag.

So I walk to the field, start getting ready, and this moron comes up to me with the same dumb grin on his face and says, "Hey! I was the one who gave you the finger!" It was one of those awkward moments...I didn't know how to react. I think the only thing I said was, "Uh...OK" then walked away.

And to make things worse...he sucks ass. He plays like he's never seen a game in his entire life. Even though he's one of those guys when you ask him what position he plays he says, "anywhere" which translates to "I suck equally at all positions"...which he does.

Back to our topic, The Finger. I love the dummies who think flipping someone off is so hardcore. Or even better, no-talent celebrities who think they're being such badasses by giving the finger to a photographer. I remember the rash of Brittany Spears, Justin Timberlake, Nick Carter flip off pics a year or so ago. Who's next, Scott Baio?

So remember, Sparky...the next time you think you're being cool by giving someone one the finger...remember, you're as cool as this:


But not nearly as cool as this finger:



You're freakin hardcore, dude!

It's been a while, but there's so much that's been going on - it's left me drained. I'm tired, bewildered and familiarly broken...humans are funny creatures. We try to do things differently, but we still end up going back to what is comfortable to us, even if it means some type of pain. Which is why it usually takes something so profound to happen to us to really cause change. Either that or you have to abandon almost everything else to make the changes you need. I'm guessing that for an alcoholic to stop drinking, everything else has to take a backseat to focusing on not drinking. In time s/he can restore balance. The only way I'm going to be able to create real change in my life is to get rid of the other things that I've put in the way - the groups, causes, protests, etc. Well wouldn't that be interesting...but I doubt it's gonna happen. But the choices are there for me to make so I guess I can't complain...even though I kinda am.

So...here's a few tidbits for you to chew on....

I think I have psychic powers. Well, maybe not, but some weird coincidences have happened lately. One of them was last week. I was thinking to myself, "Hey, where the hell have all the gay people gone?" I used to hang out with a buttload (pun intended) of gay people. Now...poof they're gone. (another pun...still intended) So I'm taking this mental inventory of all the people of alternate lifestyles I used to have in my life and we've all drifted away, yet I'm more involved with gay issues than I ever was...I just don't drink with them anymore.

Oh yeah, I'm supposed to be psychic.

So a day or so after this weird mental excursion, I get dragged to this gay bar. The only messed up thing about it was that it was kareoke night. Ugh. "So I'm chillin'. Like I do." No problem. Having a few beers, good times...then I feel this tug on my arm. I turn and there's this chick, who looks familiar, but I can't figure it out. Well, I didn't need to think too long because she starts screaming at me, "I voted for you! You should have won!" etc. At first it was kinda neat, but then it got kinda weird when she went into the "you're a celebrity to me" thing. Yeah...uh...before you go to the Get Down, Whitee Card...remember where I am. She's on the other team. I also saw a TV news reporter and a camera person who I now know are on the other team as well. It was kinda funny as the dude didn't want to acknowledge that he knew me. An interesting evening all around. I start thinking about the gays, then BAM! I better be careful. With such powers I could start contemplating the positives & negatives of S&M...the next thing you know I'm tied up in someone's basement with a leather mask on and a broomstick up my ass. It could happen.

===================================================================================

Speaking of people with sticks up their asses (ooooh, nice segue')...I just got back from a Green Party of New York state committee meeting. GPNYS is known around the country as the most dysfunctional state in the union. And it's really caused by these 5 freakin nutjobs who are entrenched in positions of "power". We can't get rid of them. The problem is the Greens try to get people to participate. Other parties exclude those who don't act a certain way. I guess those people end up with us.

As the sane Greens are out on the street, organizing, registering, protesting, running for office, these five clowns are creating absolute chaos within the party. The sad thing is we have to divert energy away from "the cause" to constantly deal with these people. We're working on it, but due to the inclusive nature of the Green Party, it's a slow process.

At this meeting a bunch of (I hope) sane people were trying to get on the state committee. The more people on it, the easier it will be to control, and maybe even get rid of, the Banana Bunch. I was one of those people. Well, the BB tried to make sure that all 19 people didn't get on. The chaos they set in motion lasted over three hours. In the end, 18 of the 19 got on. Yep. I was the one who didn't. It's a story that no one who reads this would care about, but I ended up having to throw myself on the grenade to save the rest of the troops.

These five remind me of high school geeks who took the Mock United Nations a bit too seriously. They talked about "resolutions" endlessly, needed to feel in control of everything, cooked up conspiracies (both their own and others' against them). If you watch one of these meetings, they're always scurrying around the room talking in each other's ear or badgering the facilitator. One of them tried that shit on me...I was polite but basically told her to go away. I wish they'd just go get obsessed about Dungeons & Dragons or something like that. I'd file these folks in my "I don't understand what motivates them" file, but I know what does...mental illness. The difference between these cats and some of the other nutjobs I've had to deal with is intellegence...the members of the Green Banana Bunch are not dumb people. Just freakin crazy. They have no clue how far back they're keeping us.

I've been meaning to do this for quite a while now...

I added some new MP3's to the site. Go on over to the left and you'll see the list. Just added are:

• Stumpy the Ho - the classic from the first release Pack the Lamb.


• Big Bush Barbie - another from PTL.


• Hairs R Us - a hair replacement commercial from the pre-Whitee days. With Cheese on the screams.


• Magnum Condoms - actually a commercial I did for a radio broadcast class in college. Bastard gave me an A-


• Coozinart - another pre-Whitee commercial. With all the ads for feminine hygine products, I'm surprised no one's stolen this idea...and no hair stuck between my teeth.

You can read about Stumpy & Barbie at the here.

Enjoy!

I used to put Mother's Day with all the other contrived "holidays" like valentine's day, but this year I realized that if I actually called & visited my mother as much as I should...or even half of what I should, then Mother's Day wouldn't be necessary - for me, anyway. So to sum up:

Happy Mother's Day, Mom. From your douchebag son!

I'm also down with Mother's Day because I recently found out how it began in the US. Yep. A warmonger had a change of heart and started M-Day as a peace activist. Maybe I'll plant a tree in my Mother's front yard for next year...I'm sure she'll love that.

Now, valentine's day...that's a whole other story. I still maintain that VD wouldn't be necessary if people would treat their significant others well all year 'round. Look at me...I make sure I always have hand lotion at home...I always use batting gloves when I play ball...I try not to bite my nails...OK...enough Autosexual jokes. You get the point.

Just a quickie...

Check out this PSA from Kenyan TV on safe sex. It's stupid, but it made me smile.
There is sound, but it's only music so it's not important.

Denial is an amazing thing. You can be puttering along in life, absolutely sure that one day you're going to become a ballerina, or that you're going to get that job you've been busting your butt for because you're a whiz with numbers, or that chick is finally going to wake up one day and realize what a catch you are, or that you're really good in softball and even though you couldn't hit water if you fell out of a boat you know it's just bad luck and not because you suck.

And the funny-yet-sad thing is, even though no one has come up to you and said, look dude, you suck, all the signs have been there. No one will let you dance in their company, you can't balance your own checkbook and have been working as a dishwasher for the last 7 years, that chick has actually run out of ways to call you buddy, your coach keeps giving you the wrong times for the games. You always have an excuse. "It's politics", "She'll come around", "He's a lousy coach." But you know in the back of your mind...you suck.

Then, one thing...one little subtle thing happens...after all that time of being smacked upside the head, it only takes one stupid little incident that makes you get a grip.

Now what the hell am I going to do with a XXL leotard?

Hey, remember music? Yeah, this is supposed to be a site about music...particularly the lame-ass stuff I make. Well, a brief little update...I tweaked the lyrics to Vegetarian Bondage Freak. The guitar part for it is done and I just about have it learned. So as of now there's music for...hmmm...let's see: Muddy Said, Flapjacking, Leftovers of Wayne, Tasty Beverage, and Vegetarian Bondage Freak. I'm not sold on Tasty Beverage though...we're going to need to get someone else in to do it. I'm just too damn white to do this reggae stuff and that's what TB is. There's also Construction on My Road Not Taken, which is basically going to be a piano, stand-up bass / old-school Tom Waits kinda thing. So we'll let those musicians deal with that.

So what...it's only been about 3 years since the last release? I'm shooting for Boston's record....only in their case everyone waited like 12 years and the next album sounded exactly like the one before it. I guarantee this one will be nothing like the other two...now if that's good or not is up to you.

The other night, I got stuck having to listen to one of the "urban" radio stations for an hour or so. The music actually offended me. Not because of the lyrics...well yeah, because of the lyrics. But not because they were too nasty - it was because they were too stupid. I'd rather listen to Hootie do that BK commercial over and over again than listen to that drivel. And I won't even get started on the music. Oy!

Actually, I haven't been listening to anything new lately. There just hasn't been anything that I've come across that has even come close to piquing my curiosity. Right now I have Sly & the Family Stone playing...show's you where my head is at.

Shifting Topic Alert!

I was at the library last week, and as I'm just about to leave I bumped into an old friend of my sister's. When I was in high school I had a GIGANTIC crush on this chick. I ran into her a year or so ago, she gave me her address to give to my sister and when my sister wrote to her it was sent back. So I told her this and she gave me a different address. So when I asked her how she was doing, she mentioned that she just came from Drug Court (a special court system that we have that just handles drug offenses). She didn't seem to be doing well. I can't take on any reclamation projects, but I did give her my number - told her to call me if she wanted to get together for coffee. It was sad...

Other than one minor thing...I'm absolutely down with this:

Toward a Revolutionary, Independent Green Party

I have been thinking a lot about the Green Party lately. My reflections have led me to consider some of the deep philosophical and political foundations of the party. I love the Green Party and its base values. I particularly love the Party's potential to be a change agent and force for positive political,social and environmental evolution. I have had moments of great pride with the Green Party. I have also been disappointed. It is probably because my deep sense of the Party's potential is so great, that my disappointment is so profound. ...more