There's a ton of stuff going on and I'm just trying to wrap my brain around it all, but I thought I'd list a few Senators who voted FOR The Lizard (Condie Rice) for Secretary of Lying:

Clintonbagger, Chuck Warmonger, Obama, Feingold & Harry "Mr. Personality" Reid.

Can't wait to see the vote count for Albie "Hit Man" Gonzalez.

Tools.

Oh yeah...the Douchebag voted no. Now he sacks up. Coulda used a little of that in the debates, Douchebag.

Yesterday, I was at my guitar lesson, and Robert and I were discussing the music for a new song, Construction on My Road Not Taken. So to get the cadence we went to the lyrics - I haven't really looked at them in a few months.

Damn, what was I smoking when I came up with that? I may tinker with a couple of lines, but it's definitely Whitee. Jeez.

I really don't mean for this to soiund maudlin, but I just bought a used DVD, The Best of Triumph the Insult Comic Dog from Conan O'Brien. I'm not here to say it's the finest comedic work since...uh...Morey Amsterdam - Live at Budokan, but it just reminded me of the "good ole days". Back in the day, I'd write bits for "WPUD", get drunk and have friends & family perform them. Again, they weren't MALAB, but it was my own little Saturday Night Live, the early years.

So as I'm sitting on the couch (!) watching these Triumph bits...it made me think (between laughs)...man, I've really lost my chops. I'm having a tough time writing Whitee songs...I don't think I could write a bit if my life depended on it...all my mental energy goes into so-called "saving the world". My sense of humor's the same...I still laugh at the same kind of stuff. I still have a sense of humor in my interactions. But I can't sit and write bits/skit/jokes/songs like I used to.

Comedy serves a definite purpose, but it doesn't put food on people's tables and it doesn't get people jobs. It's a distraction. One of the things I would love to do is to get an "old time" radio show going - a National Lampoon kind of thing but with a political bent. But it would be a more self-centered goal. It would be an intellectual distraction for folks, but it wouldn't affect any real change.

But on a self-centered tip...I miss it. There was some dumb...almost regrettable stuff, but there were some good bits. So I thought I'd give you a taste of some of the so-called good old days. Here are some audio clips. (I'm going to try to post the script to them in the next day or so)

• Icepick Hemmorhoid Suppositories


• Nuthin Dick Cheese


• Douche Commercial


• Great Yeast Infections

Good lord...I guess you can only describe this as a rut. "It's just so ridiculous!"
The funny thing is, I'm not grumpy...usually when I feel like this I bite people's heads off, but right now, all I want to do is go to bed and wake up when it's all over. But I guess I should be careful what I ask for...

A guy I work with has a brother-in-law who was electrocuted (I don't know how). So dudes in this coma for 8 weeks. In the meantime, they're moving him from hospital to hospital. He woke up yesterday, alone in his hospital room - with one less arm. That's gotta be messed up...you're walking along, singing a song, talkin to the girls then...BAM! You open your eyes, you don't know where you are or how you got there and you're an arm short.

So I'm listening to some story on the (real) news. And I have to admit, I wasn't paying attention to the details. But it was something like The War Criminal has decided not to re-nominate controversial Middle East analyst Daniel Pipes to the board of the United States Institute of Peace. Big whup, right? Well at the end of the story, someone said that the reason for this was becuase he criticized a lot of the messed up stuff Israel has done to Palestinians...and called him an "Israel Hater." What the hell is that? Israel Hater? Is that supposed to be something akin to being called a "Nigger Lover"? That's the level of discourse right now? Jeez.

So I did the best I could to avoid all this coronation nonsense today. I was doing pretty well until I got to the barber shop. They had the coronation parade (and the Fox coverage as well). So I'm sitting there saying to myself, "Please don't bring this up, please don't bring this up." Usually we talk about baseball or teaching or family - I've been going to this guy since I was about 10-years-old. Nope...had to bring it up. And I'll take responsiblity here...I should have just mumbled something incoherent, but no...I said something like - it sure would be cool if just one egg sailed from out of nowhere and nailed him. Well, that didn't go over too well. I wasn't "respecting the office." I told my barber that I would respect the office as soon as the War Monger did. Well, it was obvious this wasn't going to go well. We didn't get into a huge argument or anything...but again, I was trying to avoid the coronation and didn't want to get involved with any of this crap. So it just put me in a worse mood.

Then another thought came into my head tonight...there's a lot of Republicans fucking tonight. That's just not right.

This is going to seem a bit weird. Probably not as much to people who don't know me.

It really is amazing how a particular sense can mess you up. Sense...you know...sight, touch, etc.

There's this one woman, who I will always connect with my sense of smell...no, not because she smelled like cabbage...or tree bark...or ass. She used something...I don't know specificaly...but it was something in the pachouli family. Now, easy...I know...pachouli...dead head, hippie...doesn't matter. Through her I found out that scent does something to me. Now she had the scent...as well as a lesbian friend...and even though I wasn't attracted to her and I didn't have that "because she likes chicks I like her" syndrome working...but when she wore something that was in the pachouli family...I found myself looking for more hugs than usual. But I digress...I have other stories about the pachouli lesbian...but not now...

So the person I equate with this smell...is the one and only person I have ever just poured out my soul to. I mean movie-like, let it all loose, I love you because...that kinda thing.

But of course that worked out as well as every other episode...

So fast forward about...oh...10 or so years. Pachouli still hits me upside the head. I can be uptight, political guy, but that smell puts Marvin Gaye's "Let's Get it On" in my head.

In the rent-paying job I have right now, I work for an agency that (allegedly) helps adolescents in need. Some are emotionally disturbed, some are just from families from hell (worse than you can imagine). But within the job is the occasional physical restraint. It's a last resort (allegedly) but to keep it as safe as possible there are specific techniques and we need to have a review (called an "update") of our skills every 6 months.

I've been in a million of these updates and there's a bunch of funky stories, including the fat chick who insisted on chowing on a bag of doughnuts during an update, or the time I had a chunk of hair ripped out of my already balding head when a guy thought it would be cool to grab onto my hair for real.

Anyway, I'm in my most recent update and we role play...situations where different restraint techniques are necessary. And in one of those, I'm playing the role of the child and I get restrained...no biggie...been there...done that....

So as I'm getting restrained...I hit the floor...and next to us is one of my co-workers...who smells like pachouli. Just rocked my world. I've been equating that specific sense with a love long lost...what could have been...and I'm hit with that aroma from a large black man as I'm being manhandled to the ground by two other men. Not cool.

This is not a case of a Rose by any other name...

Wow. Tonight I facilitated a meeting of a group I'm involved in...and the meeting, and possibly the entire group, dissolved right in front of me. It was bizarre. This group is a bunch of parents/educators who are coming together to get parents more say in how the local city school district is run. We've spent 4 months getting the structure of the organization down...we're about 3 weeks from unleashing ourselves on the community and...BAM! I missed last week's meeting and from what I hear some shit went down, then today...it just disintegrated. And I was running the meeting and was helpless. I'm still trying to figure out what the hell happened.

We're supposed to be fighting a corrupt and incompetent system but we're too busy fighting amongst ourselves...and over petty shit.

"Does not play well with others."

What a social life! Cheddar would rather shovel snow than drink with me. Non-sister Tracy is a no-go...again. So I'm at home...chillin...like I do. CSI Miami comes on...and they're showing all these people on the beach. Of course they're all "beautiful people." So I start thinking...

It sure would be cool if I just showed up at that beach...no shirt on...my big old, pasty white gut hanging all over the place...scratching myself...picking a wedgie or two outta my butt. Chowin on a big bag of doritos. Right in the middle of the beautiful people. I'm drinkin Pabst Blue Ribbon, belching...scopin the hotties.

Too bad I burn easily and live in Rochester...I'd be all over that.

I just picked up the latest issue of Bitch magazine and was a little relieved. The one before had me a bit confused. It seemed that every single article made some reference to that tv series "Sex in the City". It was if that had become the single reference for all women. Granted, not every reference was reverential, but that wasn't the point. Every problem women have to deal with was put through the Sex in the City filter.

It made me think about what people have to deal with. It may sound naive or utopian, but it would be easier if we didn't have to be put into categories...white, black, male, female, etc. All women have to deal with...blah, blah, blah. All blacks have to deal with, blah, blah, blah. It is the reality, but it shouldn't be. To then have to run everything through a Sex in the City filter. Man...that's rough....Think about it. What if every group had to run their issues through a TV filter of the same group:

• Women = Sex in the City


• Blacks = Good Times


• Hispanics = George Lopez Show


• Gay (out) = Will and Grace


• Gay (not out) = Any NFL pre-game show


• Mentally Challenged = C-Span

Man, that would be rough. I guess we can all do that as individuals. I'm just worried that I'd be constantly wondering, "I wonder what Danny Partridge would do in this situation?" or "How would Salami, from the White Shadow, deal with this?"

Maybe there's a full moon. Nothing huge is happening, but from my way into work until now...just some odd stuff.

As I'm driving in, I'm listening to some radio show...dude's talking about all the...uh...peculiarities of the British royal family (the whole William in the Nazi thing). Then, dude's comparing them to daughters of US Presidents. He likes the Bush twins, says Chelsea's never done anything...then starts busting on Amy Carter. Amy Carter? What the hell's that all about? What did Amy Carter ever do? I don't know...just weird...it's like doing a radio segment on Lady Bird Johnson. It's like hating on Webster. What'd Webster ever do to you?

Then the guy starts talking about some leaked memo or whatever that said that during the Bubba administration, the military was looking into some kind of Sex Bomb...a chemical weapon that would make the enemy horny, thus reducing morale...or worse...making them attracted to each other...a Gay Sex Bomb. OK, I can't count all the ways this is cool! A freakin Sex Bomb! So if we get one...then they get one...then, instead of MADD (Mutual Assured Destruction Deterrence), we'd have MAPP (Mutually Assured Priapic Prevention) nobody would drop the sex bomb because then the other country would drop theirs then we'd all be walking around with painful 4-hour erections. Damn, I really wish women would just get it together and vote all the guys out...we'd be better off.

Freakin Sex Bomb.

So, I get into work and, without going into certain details, I get a phone call from someone who has no business telling me what to do, telling me what to do...the thing is, she doesn't realize she's talking to me so she's making up a lie about me so that the person she thinks she's talking to tells me. "{Whitee's} real picky, he only likes being told where to go from {people in my position}."

"Uh. No I don't."

"Yes, I know he does."

"Whatever" {click}

This place blows.

---

I'm not too sure, but I think I got a bunch of more visitors to the site because the other day I mentioned how stupid, vacuous and...uh...did I mention stupid...people are who not only give a crap about Jennifer Aniston & Brad Pitt, but say they're happy about them splitting up. So losers who searched the web for this crap stumble upon whitee.com because I have their names in my blog. (oops...did it again)

Hey. Loser. Yeah, I'm talking to you. You're a big loser because you're trolling the internet looking for stuff on Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt. You hear me? Because you have nothing better to do than to be happy over the sorrow of Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt - that makes you a loser. You should worry about your own miserable existence and not Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt. Do you think Jennifer Aniston or Brad Pitt are on their computers right now, scouring the internet looking for when the last time was you picked your ass? That doesn't sound like Jennifer Aniston or Brad Pitt.

Fine. If we're going to get gratutious:

Viva La Biba

What the hell's wrong with you?

Not like I give a crap, but my local news is doing stories on Jennifer Aniston & Brad Pitt breaking up. The freakin anchors are celebrating! "I'll bet there's a lot of happy ladies out there." "And some guys, too."

Huh?

Then they go to dildos in the street..."I'm happy he's single now."

You're happy two people's marriage broke up? Yeah honey. Now's your shot.

Loser.

Hmmm...I think The Man is watching...I blogged last night and was sure I saved it...but lo & behold it didn't show up...interesting...

Well, let's see if I can recreate....

First of all, props to Senator Barbara Boxer for being the only US Senator with the nads to stand up for democracy...As usual, my lame-ass reps were no where to be seen...Clintonbagger & the War Monger.

If you want to send her an e-mail thanking her, go here.

Then, the other dumbasses did jack squat about Alberto Mengele Gonzalez. What backbone.

=====================================================================================

Remember when this site was supposed to be about Whitee's music? Ah, those were the days. Well, we're gettin there. I just got word that I'm actually going to start getting paid for a class I've been teaching...so I'm gettin a new geetar. Which may not seem like a big deal, but if you tried playing this instrument of toruture I have now...you'd understand. This will make it easier to practice and write songs. Another step towards the next release. This is taking longer than Boston's 3rd album...hmmmm...no 4th?

Writing has been a bit more difficult. I haven't been feeling too witty lately and I've found out that I'm not good at writing "ernest" songs. But usually once I get in the studio the juices start flowing (figuratively, anyway) and it should come back. We decided to work on three at a time and I have 4 that could probably be done right now...well...soon. Stay tuned.

I swear if Aaron McGruder was a chick and would give me the time of day...I'd marry that dude.



This is what I'm talking about.

There's just too much stuff to talk about...

Let's start with today's (actually yesterday's) news. More people were killed in Iraq. Used to that, yet? Oh, and about the elections supposedly taking place on the 30th there...a great question...will they be using Diebold machines?

Which is the next segue'...check out Ohio's Secretary of State, Kenny Blackwell. As his role as SOS, he oversaw....I should say "oversaw" the lame, inappropriately done, recount in Ohio. So before the recount is done he sends out a fundraising letter on state stationary ( ! ) praising the War Criminal's victory...again, before the recount was done. So you know that recount was legit.
That's Kenny...too legit to quit.

Then,...killin me, man...the Senate was supposed to certify the electoral votes. Oh don't worry, they did. Aren't you relieved? But at least Barbara Boxer had the f-ing nads...that's right, I said it, nads to say she wanted a debate on it. So the House & Senate had to separate and debate it for 2 hours, then come back and rubber stamp it. Two notes from this fiasco. First of all, my own Senator, yep...Clintonbagger (get it? carpetbagger, clintonbagger) said that there was definitely fraud in Ohio. It's a fact. It should never have happened. But I'm not going to support an investigation. Well, I guess that makes you worse than the fraudulent ones, don't it Clintonbagger. Damn, I hate that chick. There better be a Green running against her.

Then, the Douchebag. You remember him? The Douchebag. Just ran for Prez...and quit. The Quitting Douchebag, from Massingale. Anyway, a friend of mine is on some e-mail list of his - dude get's an e-mail from QD that says pretty much the same thing...there was fraud...terrible tragedy...should never have happened...won't support an investigation...good night!

Arrrrrrrrgh!

OK, let's move on. How 'bout some torture to go with your day. Ladies & Gentleman. We have officially become neo-nazis. Yeah. You think I'm exaggerating. Fine. Check this out. Doctors are telling US interregators the most effective way of torturing. Dude, that's what Hitler's cats did. I'm not making this up. This is Hitler shit. That's what we're doing. The added twist to this...notice how the link is to ABC News...in Australia. Not hearing too much about this in the American press, huh?

Then we have what will probably be the next Attorney General, Al "The Punnisher" Gonzalez. He's going to get confirmed with no problems...but just to make things fair, I went off on Clintonbagger (I really like that nickname), so I may as well show that my other Senator is just as big an asshole.
Schumer is a rude, war mongering fool. I've had a dealing or two with him - seen him shout down an 80-year-old woman. Classy.

OK...I'm pretty much done with Mike Moore. Dude's not getting any more of my money on his stuff. I don't care about his articles or what he has to say. Tom Hanks as President? Niiiiiice. What a freakin tool. There's some people who "expose" him as a hypocrite (grew up upper middle class, owns big houses...not really the everyman he portrays)...whatever. My point is, the same way we shake our heads in disbelief at people who blindly follow the right-wing agenda, we do the same with this dumbass.

Be careful, my pretty.

---

So I'm bitching a lot, but giving out any solutions. Well, you could drop everything and go to the Anti-Inauguration. But I doubt that's an option. I'd think about going but I'll be watching my local school board screw up our schools some more.

I suggest you start by reading this book. It's called Don't Think of an Elephant by George Lakoff. It's only a hundred pages or so...but it'll tell you where to start. Here's a pdf of Chapter 1.

Then you'll want to visit The Rockridge Institute. The first true progressive think tank.

And last but by no means least you have to get in there. Get yourself dirty. Start helping out with campaigns. Local ones. Not just the biggies. Get people with your values in at the Grassroots level. Doesn't matter where you live. If you live in Pittsburgh and help someone running for town board in Oregon, the effect will ripple and eventually get to Pittsburgh. It's going to take some time. You have to be smart and patient. What do I mean by help? Go door to door. Tell all your friends. Lick envelopes. Give freaking money! Trust me, true progressive candidates need non-corporate money. Don't look for the candidates you think are going to win, look for the candidates who share your ideas and visions and make them win. Screw the DNC, screw Mike Moore. Decide for yourself.

I know you're busy. We're all busy. But this is how it gets fixed. You have kids? Bring 'em. Yeah, they're noisy and impatient. They'll learn. I've seen activists bring their little terrors to meetings, but they learned and I can guarantee you that when they're old enough, they'll be rabble rousers themselves.

Pick one issue and do something...a monthly meeting. Agree to put up a flyer at work. To do some researchon an issue. Something. Anything.

Want a place to start? Find a local candidate in your town - for anything - as long as she/he believes in what you believe in. If you want it to change, you gotta be a part of it. People keep waiting for others to do it and look what's happening.

Hereth ends the lecture.

A few years ago I was given a lot of shit about my stance about 9/11. I dared to say that I wasn't condoning what the hijackers did, but I did understand the sense of helplessness the poor people of the world felt in terms of American imperialism; the suffering and untold number of lives lost in other countries because of our foriegn and economic policies.

I was called unpatriotic and a bunch of other stuff. Well...fine...since then we've seen that our "leaders" had warnings about 9/11 but ignored them. Etc...etc...etc. Now comes a book called Confessions of an Economic Hit Man. John Perkins, the guy who wrote it was interviewed on Democracy Now (yes, I know...I seem to be obsessed with DN). Check out what dude's saying. I can't find a transcript of the conversation - it takes up the whole hour - but I'm told the video is closed-captioned.

Download here.

Oh...you can also check out here, here, and here.

This is your country. This is what your government does in your name.

What do you expect?