Let's just throw up (!) some weird links I've been meaning to tell ya about. Enjoy:

Museum of Bad Album Covers

The Pussy Snorkel (I don't know...could this be the end of civilization?)

Pleasure Wipes (or maybe this is...you know, there are starving sluts in India who don't have Pleasure Wipes...do we really need them?)

American Apparel (union-made clothes, though they don't do much for us "husky" guys. You should go to No Sweat instead, but AA is an OK alternative)

Terry Jones (from Python)

Talk Like A Pirate Day (it's coming soon...get ready)

Porn Titles Based on Movies & TV

Unintentionally Sexual Comic Covers

I couldn't wait to show this one. This is what the Vice War Criminal said about the prisoners at Guantanamo: "They're living in the tropics. They're well fed. They've got everything they could possibly want."

What a bunch of ingrates, huh?

Oh alright...while I'm at it...the Supreme Court sucks ass...I never thought I'd agree with Clarence Thomas, but he did dissent on this...but those numbnuts said it was OK for governments to grab private land for economic development. I'm telling you...we're on the way to Rollerball. And with our luck, it'll be the one with LL Cool J.

I usually post from work...I know, "must be nice". Well, I went after this job so I could pay the bills and work on my activist, music and teaching stuff. But occassionally a situation pops up like the one now where I'm stuck...um...not being able to sit at a computer. I only have a few minutes so rather than go on and on about a ton of specific things that have been slapping me upside the head, I thought I'd talk about something a bit more general.

I've just been in the biggest funk lately. It's been pretty bad. I'm one stupid comment from someone away from me really just losing it. Some of it's been personal stuff - career, relationship, financial, etc - but some of it's just been the overall state of the world kinda stuff. As I've been stuck in a hallway in a kids' residential treatment center, watching some kid sleep (I swear it's legit), I've been reading. A lot of what's going on just brings on despair. The latest issue of The Progressive Populist makes me want to stick my head in an oven. Nobody with any kind of conscience knows what to do...there IS no good news. Seriously. Um...sports, I guess...but even that doesn't distract me. I feel like I'm becoming that Rachel Dracht character who connects every conversation with injustices in the world. But that's all I seem to be surrounded by.

This includes causes I'm personally involved in. People are losing their minds. People I've known, respected and trusted for a long time are making decisions as if they've suddenly lost the ablity to reason. I've begun a semi-slow campaign to pull myself out of a number of organizations/causes. Not because I don't believe in them, but because I'm tired, burned out and over-extentded. And, to be honest, I just don't know what the hell people are thinking any more. The breadth of all the foolishness is mind boggling.

So, I'm thinking...what the hell do I do now? Withdraw from everything? I may as well as everyone who is breathing my air is annoying the crap out of me. But then it kinda hit me. I've been railing people for a while who get caught up in stuff that doesn't matter and I'm ready to join them. Not too cool. So my solution is to just simplify a little. I'm going to get out of a few things...and maybe make a couple of changes. It may be time for a change of scenery. We'll see. But for now, I'm going to finish up with things I've committed to and start looking for more quality as I've been chin-deep in quantity.

That's all I have for right now...I gotta go watch some kid fart in his sleep. (My parents must be so proud) There's a lot of stuff I want to get into with some interesting links to throw at you. I may even get a few minutes tomorrow...stay tuned.

My friends, family & students can attest that there's not a lot that leaves me speechless. THIS leaves me speechless. Brings a whole new meaning to, this is my back. From what I see this site is the porn equivalent to The Onion. God, I hope so if this is real...well...I don't know what to say.

This is what happens when you start surfing from Tiny Nibbles.

Bed time.

This week has been a mother...I've been stuck sitting in front of some little kid's bedroom every night...no...I'm not trying to be MJ. Just watching this kid sleep & fart. What a job I have...it's why I went to college. If I told you why I had to do it, I'd have to kill you. Anyway, I haven't been able to get to blog and I do have a lot, but it's my night off and there's beer to be had so a few quick hits.

If you remember and enjoy those Love is... comics then
this is messed up. Not for the weak.

Most athletes have really lame nicknames...if your name is Jones you get called Jonesy...Woods = Woodsy. You get the idea. When I play anything, my nickname is Fat Slow Guy. I have to admit...I really do like Robert Horry's nickname...Big Shot Bob. I just like it.

If you're on a softball team...and for some reason your t-shirts have numbers on the back...and you get 69 as your number...you're a douchebag. We get it...69...two-way oral sex. You're fucking funny. Go away.

We just got on a couple of Webrings. Hopefully it'll bring more traffic to the site. You can check out the links at the bottom of the page.

I just finished reading a couple of books, What's the Matter With Kansas? and The United States of Europe. Both pretty good. The latter kinda blew my mind. More on it later.

I was at the studio today. Did some playing & singing. It went well - Robert wants to get to recording...so I need to catch up on a few bills, pay the f-ing taxes I still owe as I'm waiting for those trickle-down tax breaks to get to me. Flapjacking went especially well so that may be the first. The vocals were OK, but I need to get my ass back in the gym...the cardio helps. We'll put down guitar and scratch vocals to give to the session musicians. They'll do their thing then I'll go back and put real guitar & vocals in. I've never played with other people so I'm not going to spend what little cash I have in learning in the studio. It's coming...really, really slowly, but it is coming.

Also, being stuck staring at sleeping boys all night...I did try to do some writing. Nothing great, but a little potential. We shall see.

If I were from Canada and idolized Ryan Seacrest, I would say:

Whitee oat.

This is fucking brilliant. Absolutely, positively...This is what you should be fighting. I don't care if whomever threw in a couple of black folks at the end...these are stupid crackers who need to be run out of town.

Thanks to Violet for the heads up on the link.

There's three new Whitee MP3's up. Check out Lesbian Lover, Good Pair of Slacks & Purdy...the links are on the left. After looking at some stats for the website, there's been more people hitting some of the other pages on this site so we put some more "ads" on them. It's mostly to buy the CD's (god forbid) or even a little bit of porn...yeah...porn. I still haven't gotten around to my soliloquy on porn...one of these days...anyway, as usual any money made go back into making music or the website...no bling for Whitee.

Pretty cranky tonight so I'm not going to go off...I'm going to finish my beer, work on a couple of songs & go to bed.

Piece.

I know...you want me to comment on the Mikes...I really don't care about either...relatively. I mean, Mike Jackson...a perfect example of what's wrong with our judicial system...dude should be out of society. I don't think Billie Jean getting sodomized in a prison is going to help anything, but he definitely needs some reprogramming.

Same with Mike Tyson. He said he's done, but there's no freakin way he's going to pay off the other $30 + Million he owes without fighting...unless he comes up with his own...ummm...ice cream maker ala the George Foreman Grill...The Mike Tyson Jerky Machine...whatever. I really don't wish ill on Mikey T. Dude came up the hard way with everyone wanting a piece...you think he's not gonna be nuts. You say it's easy to make different decisions, but you're using your own experiences as your guide. If you went through that shit at that age, you may be a bit nuts...same with MJ. Go ahead, call it an excuse, but most people who put down these cats, welfare recipients, etc have never been through that shit...or if they have, most have had some external support system.

For example, I grew up on welfare...Aid to Dependent Children...Food Stamps...my mother kicked ass. (Happy Birthday Mom, by the way) She dropped out in 9th grade to have my ass. When she was on her own with two little ones (big shock) she went back to school, finished HS, went to a community college then on for a 4 year degree...on welfare...but she also had her family as back up as well as my Dad's family. I always "had". So my situation is not the same as others who are born into 4 generations of poverty and racism. And say what you want, but both my Mother and me have had relatively more opportunities because we're white...at a couple of places I've worked I've been placed into old boys' networks when I didn't ask to be. It's the real world.

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It's Monday night...my Friday...I actually don't have to get up tomorrow...for anything...when I get home tonight, someone dropped off the new Board of Elections CD-Rom at my door...all the registered voters. I'm ready to spend my night pouring over it. Seriously. But I just can't. Not tonight. I may sit in a dark room in my underwear, polishing my shotgun...but I just can't sit here going over voter registration records. Of course you know that's the first thing I'm doing tomorrow. {sigh}

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I haven't been able to get the whole thought together on this. But in the last week or so, I've been occassionally pondering the plight of the bar/restaurant waitress. I know, that sounds lame, but hear me out. I had been wanting to read Nickel and Dimed by Barbara Ehrenreich. I finally got it and started reading it. Oi! It's about a writer who (allegedly) tries to survive as a working class person...waiting tables, etc. Of course she starts off with over $1000 to start, her own car and refuses to go homeless. Not the kind of investigative journalism that gets me going. I got to the middle of the second chapter and put it away...I just didn't give a crap.

From that, combined with an event that happened last week...OK, this isn't going to put me in a good, Alan-Alda-Phil-Donahue-ish light, but f-it. I'm a man. I have needs. I have wants. Alan has Mrs. Alda, Phil has Marlo. I have Beautiful Agony. You don't know me!

E-Rod & I were drinkin' and our waitress was...is...a...jeez...I don't know if goddess is the right word...but holy crap...just simply amazing. Girl next door type, nothing huge to note except for...well, let's just say it...the most amazing white-girl booty I could ever eat my dinner off of. And she's a sweetheart. So now, I'm thinking about all the chicks in my family who have waited tables who have had to deal with drunk douchbags like us. E-Rod & I were relatively respectful, but I have to admit, every time she walked by us we looked like traglodytes...jaws hanging open, stupid guys...making nicknames for each cheek...("bam" & "pow" if you're curious).

That was my Grandmother 50 years ago, my Mom 30 years ago and my sister 15 years ago. And there were dummies like me & E-Rod...in fact bigger dummies who didn't just look...who acted like idiots and left a 2 percent tip...maybe. But I swear...no one in my family has an ass like this...not even the guys.

I think I have a shot...even though I'm over 15 years older than her and not attractive to any woman on the planet. Yep...if I get enough beer in me...I have a shot.

jeez

There's a million things I should be doing, but my mind is mush. I can't stay focused. I should be working on 6 other things but this popped up in my head and I'd like there to be some record of it.

There's this guy who works at the 7-11 near my house who always asks me if I'm running for Mayor. Not because I hang out at 7-11 and pontificate all the time...he's seen me in the paper a few times - doesn't know what I'm talking about, but figures if I'm in the paper and I'm not locked up in jail, (and I'm white) I should be Mayor.

There's a bunch of things happening in Rochester that are really annoying. I'm sure it's relatively the same in your town. The most creative way our "leaders" think about solving our city's problems is to build stuff. Usually it's dumb stuff like a soccer stadium or our own version of the Titanic, but sometimes it's scary stuff like new jails, underground bus terminals and casinos. Then there's the problem of "brain drain". There are some decent colleges/universities in this area and the complaint is that after graduation no one stays.

There was a meeting a couple of weeks ago, between some city council members and some of these rocket scientists who complain about this town. That, combined with the ridiculous direction our Mayorial race is shaping up got me to thinking. We need a real leader in this town. A real leader knows when to listen to the people and when to tell them to shut the hell up. Seriously. On occassion, a real leader has to tell folks that they are entitled to their opinions but they should find someone who cares.

For example, these whining little bastards who complain that there's nothing to do in Rochester and that we need to keep the bars open longer. Now, this "nothing to do" complaint has been around for a while and our "leaders" have perpetuated it because the only solution has been to open more bars...helping developers who donate to political campaigns/parties.

So...I'm the Mayor. Hell, let's say I'm just running for Mayor (make my 7-11 guy happy). And this this group of over-privileged white snots tells me that they may leave because there's nothing to do. My response?

Get the fuck out.

OK, maybe I wouldn't drop an f-bomb on 'em. But I'd say "Buh-Bye." You don't have things to do? I got things for you to do, MF'er. I have kids that need mentors, I have parks that need cleaning, homes that need to be tested for and cleaned of lead paint, I have institutional racism so entrenched in our system of government that it's going to take an army to get rid of it. Sheeee-it. Nothing to do...You need stuff to do, Sparky? I need people to walk Pac-Tac's on Genesee Street and Joseph Avenue. I have crazy homeless people that need help. I have a bunch of elderly people who need rides to medical appointments. I have a lot of single moms who need help becoming employable. Still got nothing to do? Not enough little leagues in the city (or diamonds to put them on). I need some role models for our inner-city girls (not any of you Girls Gone Wild Wannabe's though). Come on...who's still bored? I need escorts to get scared women through the crazies at Planned Parenthood. I have acres of abandoned land that need to be turned into urban farms and gardens.

Oh...and about these freakin bars. There is more than enough anecdotal evidence that supports the notion that I like beer. In fact, one may even conjecture that I love beer. And even though I don't have the time to drink it as much as I would like I have no problem with other people drinking beer. But if you think I'm going to use public money so that YOU can drink more...you must be out of your mind. There's the city line...Bye!

Leadership...you just stepped in some.

[Man, if I ever really run for Mayor, I'm in trouble]

I just got my copy of the new The Boondocks collection. Great as usual. But there was a few strips in there that got me to thinkin...

The strips were from before the last presidential heist...I mean...election. And the insinuation was that our old buddy Osama Bin Laden was going to be "captured" just before the 2004 election and save the day for the War Criminal Formerly Known As Bush. Well, that didn't happen. He still gone.

Think about this now. This means either we are unbelievably, incredibly incompetent and can't find him...OBL is unbelievably, incredibly competent and we can't find him...there actually is some Mike-Moore-type conspiracy thing going on as the War Criminal's family is friends with the Saudi's who have been backing OBL, blah, blah, blah...or even scarier...The War Criminal's Administration just doesn't give a crap. If it's that last part, we are in some serious shit.

That brought me to the next conclusion...let's say that it get's to be too much...that there's no way a Republican can win the White House in 2008 - the scarier thing than a Republican in 2008 is the schlub the Dems are going to be propping up - but there's time for that later.

Anyway, so let's assume there's a Dem in the Hizz-ow in 2009...how is this cat gonna change all the stuff the War Criminal has done (here I'm assuming s/he will want to). Have you noticed that new administrations never dis the old one? Sure the War Criminal hated Clinton...but he's never dissed him since being in office. Nutjob pundits have...they're still obsessed...but not the WC. So this Dem is going to come in and NOT say, "Whoa! We have been on the wrong track and we need to turn this bad boy around, now!" Nope...not gonna happen. Plus, by the time 2009 rolls around you're gonna have conservative federal judges all around, entrenched right-wing R's & D's in Congress (yep, I said right-wing D's). The D-Prez is not going to be able to stop this country on a dime from getting religion out of our gov't, kicking the rest of the world's ass, screwing the environment, etc. So what's s/he to do?

I'm seeing only one way...and this is what those dumbass D's should be doing now, anyway. They have to "steal the flag". Take what changes they want and wrap it in the flag...even if it makes no sense....universal health care is an American Value...Public Eduction is an American Value...Cleaning up the Environment is an American Value. Now we know this crap isn't true because this country has been based on screwing people & land, but it doesn't seem to matter.

I'm waiting for the Rocket Scientist to come out with the marketing plan that puts smoking crack or pedophilia as an American Value. I'm not really exagerating that much. As long as it's not TOO outrageous people will not disagree with this because they don't want to get branded unpatriotic. "How dare you say that screwing sheep is not patriotic! Go back to Cuba/Afganistan/Iran you terrorist."

The last thing you have to make sure of is a contridictary name...like the War Criminal's Clean Skies Act or Patriot Act. Something like...Health Care With Accountability Act, Clean Environment for the Economy Act, Laborer's Education Act...something so ridiculous that the righties will like it but the guts of it would actually be progressive.

There you go...Whitee saves the world...again.

As I said yesterday, I think that our local corporate newspaper is pretty much a joke (and our one weekly alternative is teetering). But I have to read them because with the activism I do, I have to know what others "know" or think they know. So I read it...at least the local section, editorials, etc.

So, this guy from SCOPE (Shooter's Committee On Political Education) writes about a bill that is going through the state assembly that would ban certain rifles...over 50 caliber. He's complaining that hunter's shotguns would fall under this law and he does some creative reasoning on how this law will hurt our economy. Fine...whatever...don't care. If I'm getting shot in the City it's not going to be with a 50 caliber sniper rifle (knock on wood). But here's where dude really takes a turn that made me go hmmmm...

The Assembly is basically controlled by 12 ultra-left liberals from Manhattan and that gang of 12 has absolutely no concern for the rights of gun owners in New York. More importantly, they have little regard for the welfare of the rest of New York state outside Manhattan.

OK...this is how I know this guy has his barrel up his ass...first of all, there are NO ultra-left liberals anywhere near the state government (my state or yours). Second of all, if this were true...there were 12 ull's running the Assembly, we'd have state-wide universal health care, a living wage mandate, legalized marijuana, support gay marriages in the entire state - not just New Paltz and we'd stop Tom Galisano's bitching about windmills. Ultra liberal my ass. If you call this tool and ask him, he probably thinks the 12 are all Jewish.

I used to get pretty incredulous whenever anyone would indicate that he/she didn't like me. I don't mean a woman saying she wants to be friends; I'm almost used to that. I mean anyone who said I was annoying or obnoxious - I couldn't figure out what their problem was. I've never tried to piss anyone off, I'm not smarmy (I hope) and as I've gotten older I think I've gotten pretty good at making my points on stuff in a positive way.

Again, as I've gotten older I've come to figure out what the deal is...I'm right and you all are wrong. It must be pretty freaking frustrating having someone like me around. It's amazing I don't have a better social life.

Case-in-point. I had a letter to the editor in the local corporate rag last week. No big deal, I've had a lot of them in before. It was a reaction to an editorial about education. The editors of that fishwrap & I have gone around on education for a while...again, I'm right, they're wrong. (In this case, it is true...seriously...I'm not just saying that for effect)

So this chick writes in, about how she is a substitute elementary school teacher and the other day she read a very meaningful book to the students and that I'm an idiot. OK, I paraphrased a bit, but she actually called me out. In the past, I'd be amazed that anyone would disagree with what I'm saying. Now I'm older, wiser and more mature...I understand how these things work. She has absolutely no idea what I'm talking about and yet she took the initiative to show everyone by wrting a reaction to my piece.

Where do these people get off? I'm sure the editors of this sorry excuse for a newspaper say the same thing about me...but again...I'm right, they're wrong. How do I know this...because I only chime in when I know what I'm talking about!!!

Dummies.

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Speaking of Dummies...I'm pretty sure the guy who lives in the apartment next to mine doesn't read this, but if he does...

Dude...could you do me a favor...when you're using your grill on the deck that we share...STOP GOING IN AND OUT OF YOUR FREAKING APARTMENT EVERY 30 SECONDS TO CHECK ON YOUR FREAKIN MEAT!!!!

Sparky, stay outside or leave it there to cook. I swear to god I'm going to nail that door to the deck shut on your ass! What the fuck are you doing, checking to make sure some squirrel hasn't stolen your dinner? Watch the Discovery Channel, squirrels don't eat meat you dumbass! I'm trying to sleep and you're opening and closing your apartment door AND the deck door every 30 seconds...I'm not exaggerating...30-freakin-seconds!

Tangent Alert!

I know...I know...you live in the city, that's part of city life. What, acting like an asshole? Who the hell raised you to think that wouldn't annoy your neighbors? Or to have an argument with your skanky-ass baby's-mama...loud...outside...for two hours? Huh? At least I can change the channel on Maury Povitch.

Look, I'm down with living in the city...I know it's going to be relatively loud. I get that...but I just hate the avoidable stuff. Noise pollution that doesn't have to be. I swear, if I was a violent person I'd sit on my deck with a gun and every time that C-sucker with the motorcycle drives by that shakes my entire house...pow...I wouldn't shoot him...just his bike.

Alright, I'm done now.

Douchebags.

This is it! I have found the key! I will now be "pulling the hotties." You wish you could too, I bet. How did I find the way to melt every woman's panties? Simple, my friend.

Today, I took the test to become a Notary Public.

I know what you're saying. This is 2005, women aren't that superficial anymore. They don't just go for someone who exudes as much testosterone as a Notary Public. Thank God this isn't the case. When a chick finds out that yours truly can notarize her signature...sheeeee-oooot. Like white on rice, brother. So I guess I'll need a tattoo...something that says, "Don't mess with me, I'm a Notary Public". Maybe something like the New York State Seal or a unicorn. I know the "in" thing is to have a fellow Notary do it...kind of like a prison tat, but I don't think I'm ready to go quite so hardcore yet...besides, the smell of White Out makes me queasy.

Then, the ubiquitous bumper sticker that says something like:

• Kiss me, I'm a Notary Public


• Notaries do it at their desks


• Notaries always seal the deal


• If you can read this, thank a teacher because I'm sure he or she helped, but his or her certification was notarized by a Notary Public

Hey, punk! I better not catch you in a Notary bar. We'll...um...we'll...well, we sure won't buy you a drink. That's for sure. Punk.

And another thing, you better start shopping for my present for National Notary Public Day...it's November 7th. Avoid the rush, start shopping now! Biatch...

Gee, maybe I should wait to see if passed the test.

Let's take a look at some news headlines...shall we?

This would be what is on the headline list of Yahoo (which is AP/Reuters based)

• Dutch overwhelmingly reject EU constitution
• Rumsfeld defends treatment of prisoners
• Casualties from Iraq insurgency up in May
• Haig not surprised at 'Deep Throat' revelation
• Calif. landslide sends 12 homes crashing
• U.S. probes engine problems in Toyota Prius
• Large calcite formation found in N.M. cave
• Students compete in National Spelling Bee

Here's something you won't see on US News:

Many killed in Afghan mosque blast

Doh! And I thought we had it all under control over there. What's up with that?

Oh, wait. What are the "related" stories with it?
Nato compound attacked in Kabul
Taliban claims killing Afghan cleric

Well, spank my ass & call me Abdul. Sure glad I was able to stay in tune with that freakin spelling bee...

Oh...and on another note...I lost the "Deep Throat" pool. I had Brenda Vaccaro. Damn.

Jeez...before, I just thought the Evil 3 were just evil...now they're just freakin insane. Uh...yeah...OK...terrorists have taken over Amnesty International.

Alrighty...that's my quick rundown...later...how I'm gonna start pullin the hotties. Now THAT'S news.