When you watch the latest Hallmark Movie of the Week, probably with Roma Downey & Neil Patrick Harris, you're always hit over the head with the lesson you're supposed to learn by the tired old story. Everyone thinks, "yeah...whatever." But a lot of these "lessons" actually have some merit as I've learned yesterday.

Lesson 1: No matter how bad you think you have it, there's always someone worse off.

Good lordy is this true. Now I know this is subjective, but let's face it...unless you're that one guy, Tom, who is THE worst off, then there is someone who has it worse than you. I've been kinda moping around the past few days (see Lesson 2) feeling sorry for myself, when a friend of mine calls me and tells me what he's going through that's just freaking mindblowing. I'm still trying to wrap my head around everything he told me. It kinda made me laugh at myself a little.

If you're able to blog...you've got it pretty darn good. I'd say quit your bitching, but then all the blogs would go away, except for the sex ones...um...on second thought, quit your bitching!

Lesson 2: Be careful what you ask for, you just might get it.

Well, at least I didn't get renditioned.

For about as long as I've been doing this...hell, most of the Whitee songs are because of this...I've bitched about women not being honest...that's where the honies page came in. I've always said, if you're not interested...just say so. It'll suck, but better than if the guy gets mixed messages and isn't sure or you're not sure and play games...

While I haven't changed my mind on this, I will say that it sucks to be told the truth sometimes. Of course it sucks a bit more when you sleep with someone and you're told that s/he would never have slept with you if they weren't so drunk that they couldn't remember anything. Ouch, babe.

There's honest, and then there's honest.

Appearently I'm a C.H.U.D.

Back in the Stone Ages...I mean, when I was in college, my suitemates told me about an expression they used called CHUD...yes, based on that really bad movie. It means Cannibalistic Humanoid Underground Dweller. To these wannabe studs, whenever they hooked up with someone at a bar who...uh...they normally would not be attracted to, the women were called CHUD's....it could also be a verb...as in, "I chudded out last night." I know...immature.

I'm in an odd mood...but I'll try not to get into too many digressions.

In our public schools, one of the things that used to get taught to us kids was that Henry Ford was a smart dude...we weren't told that he was a crazy-ass racist, but that's not very important. Anyway, one of the reasons this nut-job was so smart was that he promoted the idea that if you took care of your workers, they would be well enough off to buy your own freakin product. Makes sense, right? I've experienced it here in Rochester with Kodak. Even though Kodak has started treating the workers they have left like chattel, poisoned our air, dirt & water and gotten out of paying a buttload of taxes, that company could sell boxes of typhoid and people in Rochester would buy it...as long as it's from Kodak. That's how freakin ig'nant people are.

I'm sorry...back to crazy-ass...so Hank took care of his workers...his white, male workers...but again, I digress. Now Ford is going to cut tens of thousands of jobs because they suck. Hmmm. I get it...the motor industry's contracts with its workers has made the cost of "American" cars prohibitive...it's not the salries, but health care and pension costs. If the Auto Makers and the Auto Worker's Unions got together they could force our government to ignore pharmacutical & insurance lobbyists and go with single-payer health care...Canadian, socialist, I don't care what you call it. How 'bout if we call it "The Health Care System That Works".

But they don't do that. Why? Ig'nant. These stupid bastards would rather be in chaos and screw a bunch of workers than be seen as socialist in any way. Ig...nant!

Oh no...that's not enough. Back to Crazy Hank...take care of the workers so they'll buy your product? That's crazy talk. Now, we threaten our workers. Ford Employees who don't drive Fords can't park in factory parking lots. All Heil Ford! I thought in a capitalist country, the best capitalist won? Ig'nant.

All right, all right...I'll get off that.

How 'bout a couple of links screwing with Democrats...I always like doing that.

This got talked about a bit and has been getting sent around...why Molly Ivins won't vote for Hillary Clinton. This is what I'm sayin!

I like this attitude as well. Democrats - Whigs of the Millenium. OK, I'll work on that.

Oh...and can anyone tell me why the hell has Mike Moore been getting so much run lately. No one's heard from that guy in 2 years and with the Bin Laden audio that came out last week, all the tighty-righties have been linking him with Big Boy. Wasn't he supposed to be doing some movie on health care or something?

And maybe I've just been paying attention more, but hasn't The War Criminal been getting more face time on the news lately. I mean they never used to show him speak other than scripted stuff...now he seems to be all over the place. That guy is really, really stupid. He can't speak English. Look, I know that's not news, but the only place one used to see him make dumbass comments was on bits on Letterman. Now it's everywhere. That one where the kid asked him if he saw Brokeback Mountain...that was freakin classic. I think The War Criminal's testicles sucked back into his body cavity. That was awesome! And the chick in Iowa who confronted him on education costs was beautiful. Really showed what an asshole he is.

Babbling over...except to say, you're ig'nant if you're not visiting Crooks & Liars on a daily basis. I'm just saying.

The following is a public service message from MASLA:

Hi. This is Whitee. Many of you out there like to take care of your bodies. You try to eat right and exercise. Some have even gone as far to join a gym. That's wonderful. Because of your dilegence you'll live longer, save yourself a lot of money down the road in health care costs and be less of a burden to your children as you get old and decrepid.

There are a number of rules of ettiquete that are good to remember when you go to the gym. Try not to gawk at attractive people. Wipe your sweat off of machines when you're done. Don't let the weights crash. As you exercise, try not to grunt like you're being sodomized. But most important:

DON'T COME TO THE GYM SMELLING LIKE ASS!!!

Look here, Zeke. When the rest of us have to breathe through our mouths because you leave a trail of stench as you walk through the gym...that's not good! Go wash your ass or brush your teeth or do whatever it is to stop that funk. You suck!

That was a message from Musicians Against Smelling Like Ass.

I'm going to use this time to give some props. I've been busting on Air America & it's shows pretty much since Day 1. Well, the other night, I "discovered" archived shows of Idiot's Delight. ID is the show of a DJ named Vin Scelsa. He's been in radio in NYC for 30+ years. I had only heard of him & his show from a tape I have from the mid 90's when Barenaked Ladies was on the show. It's really good, but I never gave it that much thought...then I decided to do an intenet search on Vin & the show and found the archive of recent shows on WFUV which is Fordham University's radio station.

The shows are streamed only, which is a bit of a bitch for a 4 hour show, but it's cool nonetheless. So I saw a show from December in which Randi Rhodes was a guest. I qued that bad boy up and gave it a listen...I gotta say, I now have a newfound respect for Randi. Her laugh will always make me shudder, but the girl's pretty cool.

She's from old school, rock & roll radio - no playlists, the jocks had personalities. Actually, just like Scelsa does Idiot's Delight now. So Randi was on for at least 3 and a half hours. She talked about how she got into radio, then into talk radio. That was pretty interesting. Then she got into the political stuff. Vin asked her how to get rid of the two-party system.

Randi was pretty down with the Green Party. She was close to being dead on about Nader, but I don't think she has all the inside lowdown...but it was damn close. But she really talked about the Greens as if she respected what we've been doing.

I've always been down with her show - it's just that laugh...OY! But it's a bit easier to listen to now that I know her better.

So go listen to Idiot's Delight online & check out Randi's site as well.

Gee...listening to Idiot's Delight may inspire me to do something I haven't done in a while (hint, hint). Stay tuned.

I post this - not to bitch about my life, but to offer it as an example of how people are funny dudes. We will mold reality to fit our needs, bend the truth or even outright lie in order to deal with stuff. You can fit that "theory" into politics, your job, whatever.

I've had a lot of people offer (unsolicited) advice about my love life. For the longest time I was "too picky". Lately, I've been told that I only want women whom I can "fix". The big one I've heard is that as soon as I stop looking - boom - there will be Ms. Right. Uh...whatever. How about this...maybe I'm just not supposed to be with someone? Other than Hallmark & the Lifetime Channel, who said that everyone is supposed to be with someone.

The other day, one relative of mine said about another relative of mine that the older one should do whatever to make sure he's with someone. He's older and will be retiring soon and should be spending his final years with someone. Weeeeeelllll...I get the point, but that doesn't mean a person should be with anyone. But if you're down with being with someone you don't really care about that much - just for the companionship - and the other person is down with it, who am I to judge.

Anyway...the thing that brought this on was something that happened today. I guess I need to go back in time for a sec...during the disintegration of my last relationship, which was about 150 years ago, this chick told me that we shouldn't be together because I wanted to settle down with a house & family and she didn't. The funky thing about this is we never talked about this. She was basically pulling this out of her ass as an excuse for us to break-up. I kinda called her on this, but already saw the writing on the wall so I didn't bother too much. I just wanted her to know that I knew that she knew that I knew....you know?

Fast forward to today...I'm going through...I don't even know what to call it. Let's just say this is the first time I'm "talking to someone" who I know up front has big-time emotional issues. It's a long story and not important to my point here. So today she tells me that we're not good for each other because I'm not stable - I don't want a house or a family. Again...never discussed it before. I seemed to have changed my entire outlook on life...and no one bothered to tell me about it!

I know why she said it...it had more to do with her issues than mine. But my point is...it's funny how we will make ourselves see things a certain way to fit our own mindframe. We humans are funny dudes.

And for the record, my attitude on having a family hasn't changed. If I meet someone who I want to spend the rest of my life with - that's my number one priority. Period. If she wants to settle and have kids, I'll suck it up and get a job I relatively don't like (within reason) to make sure we're financially stable. If she wants to work and have me stay at home...that's fine too. If she doesn't want to have kids - I'm fine with that as well. We can spend our time & money travelling and doing things you can't do with kids....like have hot monkey sex from the kitchen light fixtures.

[Digression Alert] I don't need to have kids to define my life...or pass on my genes or whatever. Do I like kids? I think everyone who knows me knows I do...in fact I prefer their company to most adults (not in a weird way). I'm a more relaxed, creative person when I'm around kids. And I know I would be an awesome father...I didn't say perfect...just awesome. But it isn't going to define me...[Digression Over]

Politically, Righties, Lefties, people in the middle, people who are not political...we all distort reality to make sure we have the least amount of internal turmoil.

And meanwhile...Whitee stands alone.

Since Air America Radio took Morning Sedition off the air, I've pretty much stopped listening to the local station that has AAR on. Not really in protest, there just isn't that much on there I like. I catch snippets of Randi Rhodes, but that's all of AAR programming. There are some non-AAR shows they have on...The Lionel Show I listen to for 10 minutes on the way to work, but that's about it. Stephanie Miller is OK, the voice guy really is amazing, but they seem to get paid per heavy sigh...after every sentence, there's a huge pause and then...SIIIIIIIIIIIGHHHHHHHHHH. It's a close third to Randi's Tard Laugh and Franken's "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh" before every sentence in terms of annoying radio traits.

Oh yeah...my point...so I was thinking. These cats all have the goods on our politicians. But they're just preaching to the choir. I'm not an idiot (really...I'm not). I know that Air America exists to make money. Morning Sedition was our version of National Lampoon Radio of the 70's and that didn't matter. Nixed because it wasn't pulling in the ad revenue...and I think there's supposed to be super-rich lefties bankrolling AAR. So no scratch, no airtime.

But my short dealings with (especially young) righties has made me realize that if there's ever going to be any change in the people's way of thinking we have to take matters into our own hands.

No, I'm not calling for armed revolution...something better. When military coups happen, what's the first thing they go for...radio & TV stations. Again, no violence here. We do shit with Cuban radio and we have in Europe for years. Someone needs to figure out how to jam right-wing radio stations & broadcast real news. To be honest, I wouldn't even want it to be crap like Air America. I said this from day one...that's just more yelling. Something like Democracy Now would be good.

Now, before I have Homeland (in)Security at my house...I'm being facetious about this. But the jist of this is, presented with nothing but propaganda over a long period of time, that will become individuals' dogma. Which isn't good even for the left. That's why you have normally progressive people supporting Hillary Clinton or The Douchebag. There has to be a way to get serious journalism into the hands of people who don't normally see it...also known as the other 99% of the country. And as soon as I can figure out how, I'll probably meet my "untimely demise".

This is what YOUR country is doing:

EXCLUSIVE: Ex-British Ambassador to Uzbekistan Craig Murray on Why He Defied UK Foreign Office by Posting Classified Memos Blasting U.S., British Support of Torture by Uzbek Regime.

Hey War Criminal...come spy on me! See what porn I'm looking at...the beer I'm buying! The Union-made clothes I'm buying. Come spy on me!

Well...looks like THAT'S over with. Really freakin pathetic.

But of course if we all just became Democrats I'm sure we could change it from the "inside". Girlfriends at the mall: What-ever.

I thought I'd take a minute to let you know about a hidden gem on the internet. There's this dude named Vin Scelsa. He's been doing radio for years at different stations in the general New York City area. His main show is called Idiot's Delight. It's travelled with him to at least a couple of stations I know of.

I first heard of Vin & ID when I had gotten a copy of part of his show from the 90's when he had Barenaked Ladies on. I still have it, it's awesome. Well, ID is on the Fordham University radio station and they have an archive of shows that are streamed. Each show is 4 hours long so as I work overnights I just throw one on and it eats up alot of my night. Good music, varied though it's heavily slanted toward accoustic stuff and Vin seems like a good guy. Anyway, if you have time to kill or need something on in the background, check out Vin Scelsa's Idiot's Delight at http://www.wfuv.org/streamfull.html.

Nice write up of why the Dems tanked in the Alito hearings from Pam's House Blend.

Before I get to the political stuff...a quick music update.

I wrote a song! Not a great work of art just yet, but it is workable and the first I've been able to write in a long, long time. When I get it polished up, I may post some lyrics. I would love to say it has released the creative floodgates...not yet.

I guess I needed a bit of drama in my life to get that stuff going.

======================================================================================

Let's talk Iran, shall we? They're screwing around with nuclear stuff and the "western" nations are bugging. Now I have my philiosophical perspective on this, then I have my realpolitik perspective.

First of all, you can't prop up nuclear power, maintain the biggest nuclear arsenal (by far), and support other countries' nuclear programs and then freak about Iran. I don't want Iran to have any nuclear capabilities, but we have to check ourselves first. You can't say, do as I say not as I do, here. So-called progressives say that only lately has the US acted like bullies and have not had humanitarian goals for our actions. That's crap. History has shown that we have continually backed messed-up people for our own "interests"...and our "interests" have been non-humanitarian. This is no different.

Now let's take this to the actual situation...our dumbass, war criminal of a fake president has been trying to get research going on "smaller" nuclear weapons that wouldn't take out a whole county. Oh...that's much better. We have no standing in which to judge this on...nor does any other nuclear power. Is Iran a Theocracy? Yep. But it's like restricting free speech, who decides where that line is?

Here's a question out of the blue...are you afraid to die? Seriously. Are you? I'm not, really. I don't want to die and I sure don't want a lingering, painful death, but the way I look at it, billions of people have died over time...over some dumb shit, too. My untimely death, while it may suck for me and the 3 people who may care, isn't going to affect humanity one way or another. And I say this feeling totaly ambivalent about the possiblity of an afterlife. I don't have this inner need to put my stamp on this world - any stamp. If I do, that's great...bully for me. But if I do, I'm going to do it on my terms, uncompromised. I'm not saying that I never compromise, but when certain principles that I hold dear are involved, I will not go againt them. What's the use?

I will not knowingly screw with other people for selfish reasons...thus my political & social views. So if I'm going to have nuclear capabilties, I'm not going to tell someone else they can't. Does this put me (and others) in danger? I guess. But no more than Pakistan or Israel having nuclear bombs. Am I willing to tell them to scrap theirs? And scrap mine? No. Then I sit the f-down and shut the f-up.

A couple of other little "interesting" tidbits on this situation. Here are a couple of quotes from our so-called leaders.

The Lizzie Rice:

We also agree that the removal of seals by the Iranian Government, in defiance of numerous IAEA Board resolutions, demonstrates that it has chosen confrontation with the international community over cooperation and negotiation...We join the European Union and many other members of the international community in condemning the Iranian Government's deliberate escalation of this issue. There is simply no peaceful rationale for the Iranian regime to resume uranium enrichment.

Uh...hello? We can have a peaceful rationale, but they can't? And who has chosen confrontation over negotiation? Uh, didn't Saddam approach us before we attacked Iraq and offer to step down and go into exile? Yep. And didn't we lie to the UN? Yep.

Then...it's the return of the Douchebag!

Ultimately if we are not able to find any diplomatic resolution in the next weeks I don't think we have any choice but to take it to the international community. I think Iran has made a very dangerous and a very silly decision and it is inviting confrontation not with the United States but with the global community that cares enormously about the control of nuclear weapons.

John Kerry sucks ass. Plain and simple. We would still be in Iraq if he hadn't been a freakin quitter. Same Yale, skull & crossbones asshole...I don't care what his party is.

[Tangent Alert]

Which brings me to something else I've been thinking about lately. The War Criminal stealing his second election - in the long run - may turn out to be an OK thing. I know, I know, but hear me out here.

The chutzpah and ignorance of these neocons have caused such blatant behavior that's either going to tear apart this country, or get it to where it should be. Now, I have absolutely no faith that the Dems can do this on their own. It's going to take a lot of independent lefties to get electoral reform, universal health care and improvements in labor. But I said this a while back...things are going to have to get to rock-freaking-bottom for real, systemic change to occur. And we're pretty darn close to it now.

We could be coming to a fork in the road. We can become the next Rome or Ottoman Empire and fizzle out or we can consciously decided to do things that have never been done before. Supposedly, this "experiment in democracy" is supposed to be in the latter category already - though I've always taken that as self-centered, jingoistic hype. But I'd sure like to see us do it for real.

Brain empty. Good night.

So I'm at work right now...yes...getting paid to Blog. And I'm working again with my little conservative buddy. I have on Democracy Now, which is tearing apart Sammy Alito's senate testimony. (more on that in a moment)

So as I have the show on and their blasting Alito, his little dittohead just couldn't take it anymore so he took out his little transister radio and earpiece and is listening to conservative talk. It would be cute if it wasn't so sad. Dude can't even listen to opposing views. Auntie Em! Auntie Em!

The only thing I can say about Sammy Alito is, if the Dems don't do every thing they can to filibuster this dude out of there, then there is no reason to ever listen to these clowns again. If they're not going to fight this asshole, who are they going to fight? If they have to wait for dummies like The War Criminal to trip over his own crank to pile on - then hang it up.

That's all...my little buddy is giggling over something really funny...I'm sure.

Have you ever noticed how that show Extreme Makeover never goes to places like Watts or Bedford Stuyvesant? It's always in someplace like Buttfuck, Iowa.

Dear Highstrung Gaylooking Guy,
My name is Lonzell Taylor, I live in a 25-year-old pre-fab "townhouse" built by a bunch of crackers who felt guilty for putting all of us in tenemants back in the 60's. My house is riddled with bullet holes. The picket fence is nothing but a bunch of sticks. Water stains are on every ceiling. There are 8 of us living in this 3 bedroom hell hole. Me, my 72-year-old Mama, my Uncle Oshawn, who hasn't had a job since the Carter Administration, his girlfriend Dontice and their 4 kids (though 2 of them are Dontice's from other guys). My Mama's got cataracts, Oshawn's got the gout and at least 2 of the kids have lead poisoning - they run around punching holes in the walls. Our 3 pitbulls, Jesse, Leviathan & Chauncy have dug a bunch of holes in the backyard that the kids keep stepping in. Please help us!
Sincerely,
Lonzell

P.S. Yo man, shave that damn thing off your lip. You look like a dumbass.

I want to see THAT show. Bulletproof siding, fighting pen for the dogs...I wanna see all those helpful neighborhood volunteers in that neighborhood.

I'm just sayin'....

====================================================================================

A totally unrelated thought...

Tonight I realized that there's one reoccurring question that seems to pop into my head every now & then.

"You'd sleep with that guy, but not with me?"

Everytime I end up being some chick's buddy - and then meet some slob she used to be with...that's pretty much the question that pops into my head. Lately, the guy is not the bad boy type. I relatively understand that. These days, it's usually total losers...who smell bad...who just aren't pleasant to be around - as human beings.

You know, if I were ever to become some kind of suicide bomber, died and went to heaven...Allah would line up my virgins...and they'd all call me "chief".

And now that I'm on the subject...what do female suicide bombers get? A bunch of guy virgins? Great. What a bonus that has to be. You blow yourself up and what do you get? A bunch of dumb guys who can't find your clitoris. Thanks, Allah!

Here is a perfect example of why we need Universal Health Care in this country.

We are now getting inundated with commercials for Ropinirole, a medication for Restless Leg Syndrome...

The Jimmy Leg!

They came up with meds for the Jimmy Leg! The years and money spent on research to treat the freakin Jimmy Leg.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not making fun of people with TJL, but this medication was created to make money. When medicine is for-profit, this is what you get. Jimmy Leg meds. More resources could have gone to AIDS or Cancer research...nope...gotta take care of those cats with the Jimmy Leg.

Alright...so we're not going to have Universal Health Care in my lifetime. So what's the solution. How can we get these pharmacutical corporations to work harder to find a cure for AIDS as opposed to treatment that lets you live with it as long as you keep taking the meds...or better yet, a vaccine?

Some capitalist pig is going to have to dump a buttload of money into it, get the vaccine/cure and before he unleases it, start buying stock in companies that make...I don't know...lube, I guess. Because when the vaccine comes out, people are going to be getting busy in the streets. Of course the spread of syphillis is probably going to skyrocket.

Cancer? OK, that's going to be a bit tougher to figure out. All the more reason for Universal Health Care.

Freakin Jimmy Leg...the name of my new band.

This is pretty hokey...but Pumpkin is my favorite so...

You Are Pumpkin Pie

You're the perfect combo of uniqueness and quality Those who like you are looking for something (someone!) special

I'm sick as a dog and should be in bed...but I'm coughing so much I can't sleep so instead I did a few much-needed updates to the site.

First: New MP3's!!! Yeah, it's been a while. Three songs from the first CD, one song from the "tape era" and a few old pre-Whitee bits. Hey, it's not art but I know what I like.

Second: Finally got to adding a bunch of links. I didn't get to checking all the old ones, so if you find a dead one, drop us a note.

Enjoy!