I was at the gym this morning and one of the TV's had on VH1. The Shakira video was on. Now, I was listening to my own music so I didn't hear the song. But this video was so ridiculous...it had to be a parody. I swear she air humped the entire song. She did it with motor oil all over her, she did it without. She writhed on the floor, she humped a guy's leg...

Look. I absolutely love Shakira. I couldn't tell you a single song she does because when she's on TV there tends to be a weird ringing in my ears - probably from all the brain rushing out of my cranium ("if you know what I'm saying"). F-Jennifer Lopez. Shakira has the ass. No. She has two asses. Each cheek is an ass onto itself, with a mind of it's own and each can move independently of the other one. You seeing where I'm going here? I'm down with the Shakira.

But this was too much - even for me. I wasn't offended. Starvation, poverty and genocide offend me. Honey, if you're gonna bellydance, fine. Do it. Skip whatever stupid pseudo-plot this video allegedly have. The motor oil...not working for me. Hell, if you need to grind like that...do porn.

You know, one of these days I should find out if she can sing.