Let He Who is Not a Pervert Cast the First Dildo

That's right...I said it. What an odd series of events. Appearently Iiiiiiiii'm a pervert. Little old me. If you go by the concept of you are as others see you, I'm amazed I haven't been registered as a sex offender!

Well, you know what...I take that label and wear it with pride...Perv Power! I say!

Let's take a look at what a pervert is, shall we?

n : a person whose behavior deviates from what is acceptable especially in sexual behavior [syn: deviant, deviate, degenerate]

I am so fine with this label because of the one part, "from what is acceptable". I've already discussed this...the hypersexuality used in the name of capitalism is what is acceptable and I am not down with that. And I'm not down with the stunted, latent sexuality of the far right. So what you got is someone who thinks you can do whatever the hell you want, with whomever wants to do it with you in any room of your house (as well as a few inconspicuous public places, but that's for another discussion).

So call me a pervert, goddamnit!

If you notice in the definition, it says by behavior. If I'm the great big perv everyone says I am, shouldn't I be getting more than I do? I'm just sayin....

What brought this on? Oy...

I can't go into details here...but it seems that someone who I thought knew me well actually thought I was...uh...having fun with a 17-year-old. I mean, I'm old enough to be her really older brother. Whatever...

Perv Power!

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The Pervs Shall Inheret the Earth

Well, maybe not, but on my way into work tonight I was listening to a repeat of The Lionel Show. Dude was talking about porn. First he was talking about 70's porn, when they would show movies in theaters and there were premiers with paparazzi & red carpets, etc. Then he started comparing that to today...where a new movie comes out every 7 minutes - and that's just from studios. Lionel was busting out some serious porn names - producers, performers & titles. I was impressed for a minute, but then it hit me...this dude's got his own semi-mainstream radio talk show. You're not supposed to show that you're down with this stuff.

You go, boyfriend!

OK, let's talk about porn...

Look...nobody wants to see drugged-out, bored, cynical, silicone people having sex...I hope. There's a lot of bad stuff out there {cough, cough, so I've heard}. But people who like to show off, who aren't afraid of how they look who want the thrill of performing for people...mazel tov. No skin off my...uh...nose. If you're into porn, or toys or whatever...who gives a crap? If you do give a crap, you need a life...and a toy...and hopefully some lube.

This is a lame metaphor, but sexuality is like pizza...sure you can have frozen pizza, and some are better than others...and you can have it plain or supreme or in between (jeez, I just went Dr. Seuss on you). You can have it delivered...and even then you have choices. Or you can make an evening out of it and go out, with checkered tableclothes, candles, wine...the works. And yes, you can even have pizza by yourself. You can have sex for the sensuality of it, you can have it with someone you love as a method of communication, you can do it just to make babies. And you can watch cooking shows on different ways to make pizza. It's a big deal, but it isn't at the same time...the main thing about sexuality is...

Relax, for crying out loud! It's just sex! Damn...

From here I could go onto religion and sexuality, but I don't have the patience or time for that right now...appearently I have to go cruise some high schools for chicks.