I'll just start out by saying that I'm pro-sex toy. I don't own any, but I have bought them. Some for a party (you had to be there), I've also bought the occassional toy as a gift (I had to be there). So it pains me to see just how dangerous these things can be...

Auto-eroticism undoes driver

All I can say is...Duuuuuuuude. Come on, Bro. Penis pump on the highway? Hey, I'm fine with the pump...go for it...celebrate, god dammit! But not when you're driving.

Holy Crap, if that happened here, there would be some dumbass politician proposing a new law. How would you like to have that named after you? "Yeah, you know, Whitee's Law? You know, the one that says that you can drive & diddle? Named after me."

And this guy will no longer be able to bust any of his friend's chops ever again. Anything he tries to come up with will be automatically trumped by this. Know what I'm saying, Pump Boy?

Oh, but that's not all. Greenpeace (in Europe, of course) is warning folks about the plastic in sex toys. Appearently there's stuff in there that's been banned from children's toys.

"We have tested many products in the last few years but never have we encountered such high concentrations." Damn, now there's a job.

The funny thing about these two things are that I found them on Yahoo News under the "Most Popular" list of stories. I mean, the first story is ridiculous and has no business being on a news wire, but the second one is important - the story even has a photo of a bunch of vibrators. Again, celebrate! But why isn't it in health news?

F-ing Pump Boy.