Question: When New Yorkers have (a) unlimited time on their hands, (b) a blocked-off street, and (c) virtual carte blanche from the police to do whatever they want, what do they do?

Answer: They throw toilet paper around.

Without toilet paper, our cold and miserable vigil on Lower Broadway would have been infinitely less entertaining.  I don't know where these people got it, but every ten seconds, a roll of toilet paper would be thrown to us from the other side of the street.  What were we to do with it but throw it back??  This went on for hours, with the sole exception of when people - especially policemen - walked by.  In those cases, the rolls of toilet paper were thrown at them.

Adding an element of danger to the festivities was the presence of similarly excitable New Yorkers in huge office buildings directly above where we stood.  Whenever the spirit moved them, they would toss rolls of toilet paper out their windows into the crowd below, or at policemen.  Gravity's influence on these rolls made them dangerous weapons of death, and the woman beside me, the annoying guy behind me, and the grandmother in front of me were all hit by these projectiles.  I remained unscathed.

The other highlight of our long wait was provided by the loud man five feet to our left.  He was unable to stand still and be patient, so he stood on his chair and riled the other side of the street into throwing toilet paper at him.  He caught every throw and heaved them back at them.  He then began to throw coins at them, getting them excited before each throw ("WHO WANTS A QUARTER????") until they were putty in his hands.  After some more coins and an unwise choice of Skittles (thrown back at us), he started to crumple dollar bills up and throw those.  He
pretended to throw a twenty - but then stopped, explaining that he was Jewish.  Apparently he's not an orthodox Jew, for after tiring of the throw things game, he spent an hour getting the attention of women in the building above us and telling them, in no uncertain terms, that he would like them to remove their shirts.

This is what we dealt with for 4 hours..

-- TO BE CONTINUED --

Part Nine

NHS Speech

"My View" Editorial

The October Surprise
|  Round 1 |  2  |  3  |  4  |  5  |
|   6  |  7  |  8  |  9  |  10  |
|  11  |  12  |  Final Bell  |

Journey to Jersey II
|  Intro  |  1  |  2  |  3  |  4  |  5  |
|   6  |  7  |  8  |  9  |  10  |  11  |
|  12  |  13  |  14  |  15  |

Journey to Jersey I
|  1  |  2  |  3  |  4  |  5  |   6  |  7  |  8  |
|  9  |  10  |  11  |  12  |  13  |  14  |
|  15  |  16  |  17  |  18  |  19  |  20  |

An Epic Saga
|  Act  1  |  2  |  3  |  4  |  5  |
|   6  |  7  |  8  |  9  |  10  |  11  |
|  12  |  13  |  14  |  15  |  16  |

Christian Rock Email

Freshman Room Draw
|  Part One  |  Two  |
|  Three  |  Four  |  Five  |