(Why is Jesus in the subject field?  To get by my uncle's spam filter.)

IN WHICH I Correct The Errors Of The Previous Section, We Leave The Bowling Alley, We Return To Mike and Jill's House, AND The Superhuman Feat Of Endurance Is Wisely Brought To An End.

First of all, Josh brought to my attention a few errors in Part 12, errors that he demanded be corrected.  The kids sold a Curtis Martin bobbing-head doll, after being specifically encouraged to sell something by a person who wishes to remain anonymous.  Their stickers did not say "Back Off," but actually the even more intense "Go Away."  Josh was my partner in the relay race for skating, but Jason gave us a push to start off that caused us to fall way behind when I couldn't keep my legs together to go forward.

Also, I am not, in fact, the capital of Yugoslavia.  Josh's name should have another h in it, a silent h, located before the first one, not after it.  There is no Santa Claus, the Giants cheated to win the 1951 Series, hydrogen has only one proton, those actually WERE my pants, and yes, that outfit does make your butt look big.  Sorry.  It's my fault.

After I got the Cow Tail which I loathed and did not eat, the night started to wind down.  Mike went to the store and picked us up some beverages.  I quickly guzzled some orange juice, I think.  I don't really remember.  But I think it was orange juice.  I went around the rink a few more times, and suddenly the place was nearly empty.  It was just the workers, our group, and some random kids.

We were the last people to leave, and as some of our people were using the bathroom, we started to talk to the Nice Girl, the Frowning Guy, and the other workers.  I think it was the Frowning Guy who asked us if we knew a particular girl at Houghton, Amanda Groth, who he had known from home or something.  His eyes lit up, as he spoke of her beauty and personality in glowing terms.  Meanwhile, I kept thinking of the way she had run out of my 20-person Public Speaking class in the middle of her demonstration speech on backpacking, leaving her intricate visual aid to shatter on the floor, as she flew out the door in hysterics.  I esteem no woman so controlled by irrational fear.  Josh, however,  promised to tell her Frowning Guy had said hello.

	The whole group, in all our glory

I had Nice Girl take a picture of our group before we left for good, and it turned out very well.  If I had a scanner right now, I'd put up all the pictures that go along with this series.  But I'll have to save that for the eventual webpage.

We left the bowling alley at about 5, and got back to Mike's at 5:30.  Unfortunately, he had to go to his parents' house to get his car back for their van, and the door was locked.  Jason and I wandered around the house.  "Should we try to break in?"  It was really cold.  I tried a few windows, but they were locked.  We also considered the effect on Jill's psyche if she awoke to an early morning noise and found a large man crawling onto her entertainment center.  We waited the five minutes for Mike.

It was about 5:45, and I weighed the pros and cons.  I did - finally - after a little over NINETEEN HOURS - feel the need.  Was it worth the pain and the possible embarrassment to go for the full 24?  Would sleep be possible in such a condition?  I turned to my advisors, and to a man, they urged me to let it go.  Why needlessly extend the feat in a foolhardy attempt to meet an arbitrary mark?  This would only denigrate what I had already achieved, which was, frankly, quite amazing and nearly impossible to explain.  And so I brought it to an end.  Nothing like that had ever happened to me before; nothing like it has happened since.  I don't know what was going on that night.  But 19 hours is quite a feat.  I had witnesses.  I was well hydrated at all times.  I was not sweating profusely.  Nothing was out of the ordinary - yet, the duration reached 19 hours.

I am a humble man.  But I must believe this will never be surpassed.

TO BE CONTINUED, for the final time

NHS Speech

"My View" Editorial

The October Surprise
|  Round 1 |  2  |  3  |  4  |  5  |
|   6  |  7  |  8  |  9  |  10  |
|  11  |  12  |  Final Bell  |

Journey to Jersey II
|  Intro  |  1  |  2  |  3  |  4  |  5  |
|   6  |  7  |  8  |  9  |  10  |  11  |
|  12  |  13  |  14  |  15  |

Journey to Jersey I
|  1  |  2  |  3  |  4  |  5  |   6  |  7  |  8  |
|  9  |  10  |  11  |  12  |  13  |  14  |
|  15  |  16  |  17  |  18  |  19  |  20  |

An Epic Saga
|  Act  1  |  2  |  3  |  4  |  5  |
|   6  |  7  |  8  |  9  |  10  |  11  |
|  12  |  13  |  14  |  15  |  16  |

Christian Rock Email

Freshman Room Draw
|  Part One  |  Two  |
|  Three  |  Four  |  Five  |