(Why is Jesus in the subject field?  To get by my uncle's spam filter.)

IN WHICH Our Convoy Moves On To The Roller Skating Rink, I Become The Object Of Overtly Mean Stares For Little To No Reason, AND I Am Coerced Into Violating One Of My Principles.

Our lanes turned off early, we left for the roller skating rink in a less pleasant mood than last year.  Things had worked out better, I thought, when we had skated first and bowled second - we got to eat instead of skate, and we got to bowl for a longer time.  Mike and I, you see, are not what you would call skaters.  We do not own skates.  We do not 'go skating' for fun.  If someone had asked us, "Steve and Mike, what do you routinely avoid doing?," our joint answer would have been, "Skate."

So our time at the roller skating rink last year was not spent on the rink, dodging sugar-fueled children and show-off chaperones; it was spent eating lots of pizza, drinking lots of soda, and turning small children upside-down (referred to as "going St. Peter on them") when they called us "Waffle Head" too many times (once).  Though there was to be no food or drink at this rink for us, we fully intended to reprise last year's activities, by just sitting around and talking.

When we got to the roller skating rink, everyone but the two of us went to get their skates.  I sat down on the uncomfortable tables that they had in their waiting area, prepared to make that my home for the next few hours.  While surveying the area, I noticed that another table, about thirty feet away, was home to a 14 or 15-year-old girl, obviously upset and perhaps in tears.  Following my general rule in this type of situation, I did not stare at her or go over to chat, but I did look in her direction every few minutes to make sure the situation had not deteriorated (i.e., spastic fit of tears and convulsions, banging head against table, suicide attempt with plastic fork).

It was during one of these brief glances that I noticed that first a few girls, and then later a rough-looking teenage boy, had joined her at the table.  The girls left angrily, and it became clear to me through the actions of the boy and girl, that he was the cause of the situation.

"Aha!," I thought, "Here is the young rogue that has caused this young lady's trouble.  Why is it that she would allow this punk to ruin her evening like this?  Why is what he thinks so important to her?"  Perhaps, if I were Oprah, I could, at that point, have walked over to the table, asked the boy to leave, and had a long conversation with this girl, informing her that she was there to have fun, and she really shouldn't let this guy ruin her evening.  Perhaps, if I were Oprah, I could also have said that maybe she ought to concentrate on living her own life right now, and seeking her own identity apart from other people, without worrying about "Desmond" and whether he likes her as much as that catty Brianna, who wears too much makeup anyway.

And perhaps if I were Oprah, when "Desmond" looked over and noticed that I was looking at he and his apparent girlfriend, he wouldn't have started glaring at me as if I had just whipped off my shirt and blown her a kiss.  After two more glances, met by his stare, I gave up and turned my attention elsewhere.  That's when Jason and Josh came up and asked me why I wasn't skating.  I told them.  They weren't impressed with, "I can't skate."  Mike was still with some of the kids, I think, and given the choice between suffering under "Desmond's" evil eye and getting a pair of skates that I never promised I would wear out on the floor, I headed with them over to the skate counter.

TO BE CONTINUED
(And this next one should be quite entertaining.)

Part Thirteen

NHS Speech

"My View" Editorial

The October Surprise
|  Round 1 |  2  |  3  |  4  |  5  |
|   6  |  7  |  8  |  9  |  10  |
|  11  |  12  |  Final Bell  |

Journey to Jersey II
|  Intro  |  1  |  2  |  3  |  4  |  5  |
|   6  |  7  |  8  |  9  |  10  |  11  |
|  12  |  13  |  14  |  15  |

Journey to Jersey I
|  1  |  2  |  3  |  4  |  5  |   6  |  7  |  8  |
|  9  |  10  |  11  |  12  |  13  |  14  |
|  15  |  16  |  17  |  18  |  19  |  20  |

An Epic Saga
|  Act  1  |  2  |  3  |  4  |  5  |
|   6  |  7  |  8  |  9  |  10  |  11  |
|  12  |  13  |  14  |  15  |  16  |

Christian Rock Email

Freshman Room Draw
|  Part One  |  Two  |
|  Three  |  Four  |  Five  |