My list of those we knew with cars was fairly exhaustive, yet no one really had a chance higher than "poor." I included a college van, which we would probably have to steal at that time of night, and the local police department, who would be virtually guaranteed to give us a ride were we to take a college van. Our next step had to be one of the things I hate the most: going around, asking people to do us a favor - a huge favor, in this case.

Neither of us were particularly excited about the task, so when we went down to the first floor, we loitered around, not really wishing to go down and see Josh Tate, our first mark. While we stood there in the hallway, Josh himself came out of his room, walked up to us, and said, "Hey guys, what're you doing down here?" "Not much," we answered. We finally, smoothly, managed to tell him that we were sort of wandering around the dorm, kind of looking for somebody with a car, and maybe seeing if there was anybody who might perhaps let us borrow one. He talked about some other possiblities, and then as a throwaway, offered, "You can't drive standard, can you?"

We confirmed that neither of us could drive standard.

"Oh!," he exclaimed, "if you could drive standard, I might let you borrow my car, but I guess it doesn't matter anyway."

When engaged in this type of endeavor, you begin to notice major themes among those you ask. This was theme #1: I *might* let you do it, but you can't because... Usually this dealt with standard transmissions, but others mentioned trips they had to make, or other such conflicting plans. But this theme paled in comparison to theme #2, which was: My car doesn't run/can't start/bursts into flame when you turn the key/is unable to go forward/lacks an alternator/lacks tires/lacks an engine/does not exist in this dimension/is powered by temperamental midgets who are currently on strike.

Apparently, of the hundreds of cars parked near our building, 90% of them meekly limped into the parking lot before giving up the ghost for good. Exactly how this fits in with the scores of screeching tires and headlights I see every weekend around 1 or 2 in the morning, I don't know. Perhaps the best example of this theme is Lloyd Fleming, who first extorted a promise of $20 from us, handed us the keys, waited until I jumped off a chair and hit my head on the ceiling, and then followed us up the stairs to tell us that his car did not run. We punched him in the mouth and took the $20 back.

I returned to the first floor lounge, full of people who were unable to lend us their cars, but completely willing to give us helpful suggestions, such as bus travel, train travel, auto theft, hitchhiking, running, auto theft, renting a van, and auto theft. I went back up to my room, where Josh was still putting off his Greek take-home test. It was about 12:30. We had no vehicle.

-TO BE CONTINUED-

Part Five

NHS Speech

"My View" Editorial

The October Surprise
|  Round 1 |  2  |  3  |  4  |  5  |
|   6  |  7  |  8  |  9  |  10  |
|  11  |  12  |  Final Bell  |

Journey to Jersey II
|  Intro  |  1  |  2  |  3  |  4  |  5  |
|   6  |  7  |  8  |  9  |  10  |  11  |
|  12  |  13  |  14  |  15  |

Journey to Jersey I
|  1  |  2  |  3  |  4  |  5  |   6  |  7  |  8  |
|  9  |  10  |  11  |  12  |  13  |  14  |
|  15  |  16  |  17  |  18  |  19  |  20  |

An Epic Saga
|  Act  1  |  2  |  3  |  4  |  5  |
|   6  |  7  |  8  |  9  |  10  |  11  |
|  12  |  13  |  14  |  15  |  16  |

Christian Rock Email

Freshman Room Draw
|  Part One  |  Two  |
|  Three  |  Four  |  Five  |