Well, it's good to see Bachelor Bob get himself a 'good sort'. I think the Bachelor should be called what it really is though: The Gettin' Bob Some Action Variety Hour.
Isn't Bob a catch though? He's so funny and hot and stuff... not a monkey man with bad skin at all. I have two words: gentleman's perm. Actually, I have two more words: Rob Bruff - let's go to the board, under 'sexy hairdo's' can we show 'gentleman's perm'? Ba-baow! There ain't no family feuding in family man Bob's family - it's so sweet!But it's all over, time to make room for the next gettin' someone some action show. It's an as yet untapped resource, isn't it? The Bachelor, The Bachelorette, Joe Millionaire, Average Joe, Everybody Loves Joe, Joe in the Middle, The Love Joe, Joprah... we need more damn it!
Reality TV is getting out of hand. Pretty soon we're going to inundated with more undiscovered 'talent'. Australian Idol, American Idol, Mr. Idol, i*d*o*l, Queer Idol for the Straight Guy, Who Want's to be an Idol?, Popstars 3D, 8 Simple Rules for Dating my Teenage Idol... they're bigger, better, more spectacular and they'll be resurrecting John Ritter! The other Popstars winners have been so successful, haven't they? It's easy to see why they keep going with those shows... all that undiscovered talent.
Ahhh, reality TV, it keeps pushing those boundaries, doesn't it? I want to see it really push the boundaries. I want to see 'Japs-eye for the Straight Guy'. Basically - a straight guy is followed around for a week by a naked guy with a large, obtrusive erection. Featuring such classic moments as the straight guy who goes to open a door whilst reading something and discovers, after a few unsuccessful flips of the handle, he isn't holding a door handle at all. Now that would be funny... wrong, but funny.
I've had enough of reality TV. I want 'unreality TV'. Like, 'Hey Hey it's Saturday Afternoon Elvis Movie Free Zone', or 'The Sunday Afternoon and There's Something on Other Than Sport and Lawn Bowls Show', or 'The NOT Footy Show'. Maybe more sport personalities need to be beaten to death by bouncers so that there's nobody left to put more sport on TV... um... I think I might have just gone too far.
Shalom y'all!
You can email the Gold Logie winning Stilt-boy at jimjimbo75@yahoo.com.au
Go ahead, ask him a question... or offer him sexual favors, he'd like that...
