|
Overview
Collection #1
Collection #2
Collection #3
Collection #4
Collection #5
Collection #6
Collection #7
Collection #8
Collection #9
Collection #10
Collection #11
Collection #12
Collection #13
Collection #14
Collection #15
Collection #16
Collection #17
Collection #18
Collection #19
Collection #20
Collection #21
Collection #22
Collection #23
Collection #24
This site is created by Ivan Choe. |
|
||Back|| ||Next||
Joke Collection #11
BLIND FAITH.... from Rainsep
An out-of-towner drove his car into a ditch in a desolated area.
Luckily, a local farmer came to help with his big strong horse named Buddy.
He hitched Buddy up to the car and yelled, "Pull, Nellie, pull!" Buddy didn't
move. Then the farmer hollered, "Pull, Buster, pull!" Buddy didn't respond.
Once more the farmer commanded, "Pull, Coco, pull!" Nothing.
Then the farmer nonchalantly said, "Pull, Buddy, pull!" And the horse easily
dragged the car out of the ditch.
The motorist was most appreciative and very curious. He asked the farmer why
he called his horse by the wrong name three times.
The farmer said, "Oh, Buddy is blind and if he thought he was the only one
pulling, he wouldn't even try!"
PEPSI vs. COKE......FROM CAMISLAND
There was an airplane full of a shipment of Pepsi flying somewhere over
Africa. It suddenly had a malfunction, and went down somewhere. A few
weeks later, PepsiCo sent a rescue plane out to look for the lost plane.
They found the wreckage, but were unable to locate the crew. They searched
the area and found a tribe of cannibals. They walked up to the Chief of the
tribe and asked him if he knew anything about the crash.
The Chief goes, "Yeah." When asked where the crew was, the Chief replied,
"We ate the crew, and we drank the Pepsi." The Rescue crew was shocked.
One man asked, "Did you eat their legs?"
The chief replied, "We ate their legs, and we drank the Pepsi"
Another rescuer asked, "Did you eat their arms?"
The Chief said, "We ate their arms, and we drank the Pepsi."
After looking totally perplexed for a minute, a third asked, "Did you..you
know...eat their........... ..'things'? "
The chief says, "No."
"No?" asked the rescuers.
"No," replied the Chief, "THINGS go better with Coke"
INTEREST RATES ON THE RISE.... from Ladyblue29
Before going to Europe on business, a man drove his Rolls-Royce to a
downtown NY City bank and went in to ask for an immediate loan of
$5,000. The loan officer, taken aback, requested collateral. "Well,
then, here are the keys to my Rolls-Royce", the man said. The loan
officer promptly had the car driven into the bank's underground parking
for safe keeping, and gave him $5,000.
Two weeks later, the man walked through the bank's doors, and asked to
settle up his loan and get his car back. "That will be $5,000 in
principal, and $15.40 in interest", the loan officer said. The man wrote
out a check and started to walk away.
"Wait sir", the loan officer said, "while you were gone, I found out you
are a millionaire. Why in the world would you need to borrow $5,000?"
The man smiled. "Where else could I park my Rolls-Royce in Manhattan for
two weeks and pay only $15.40?"
A DAY AT THE BEACH.... from Orbiter875
One day there was a big lady swimming in the ocean
by the beach. Suddenly, she noticed that she had
lost her top. She thought that no one would
notice if she covered herself with her arms and
walked overto her towel.
So she went and nobody seemed to notice her as she
approached her towel. Then a little girl came
running up to her and said, "Hey, lady!"
"What?"
"If your going to drown those puppies, at least
let me have the one with the cute little pink
nose."
TONE OF VOICE.... from RDoctor183
In Arkansas, the parents of a 4 year old boy were a bit embarrased because he
would say outloud "I have to go pee pee." It would be ok if he said it at
home with just them there, but he did this at church, at pre-school, etc...
Well, they finally had a talk with him and told him that if he had to go to
the bathroom that he should just say "I have to whisper". Then they would
know his needs and still retain their dignity. However, one night he went to
stay at his grandparent's house. He woke up in the middle of the night and
went to his grandfather's bedroom. "Grandpa, I have to whisper." The
grandfather, was still groggy and uncomprehensive at this point and said
"Thats ok son, you can whisper in my ear." The next day, when he was
relaying his story to his wife, the grandfather said "boy, I sure am glad he
didn't have to yell.
Casserole..... from Ladyblue29
Two elderly women were talking about the celebrities they most admired.
One said: I'd love to be casseroled by Mel Gibson.
"Don't be silly," her puzzled friend told her "Casseroled is a cooking
term, meaning to be done slowly for a long time."
The first woman shrugged. "Exactly," she replied.
||Back|| ||Next||
|