22:42EST-MON-9/24/2001
- Have you ever caught yourself doing something and then suddenly realized that you remember doing the exact same thing except you have never done it before? Deja vu? Not quite, but close. Sure, you may think it's deja vu from another life, but I don't think so. At least not like I'm talking about. Getting the feeling that you have started at the same vista from a mountain top, or been to a place before is one thing but I'm talking about the more common stupid stuff like making some kool-aide, watching TV and talking to a friend, talking to your pet, dropping your tooth brush, doing jumping jacks in front of a box fan, or getting kicked out of school for mouthing off to your math teacher. Maybe these examples are different from yours (gee, you think?) but the point remains the same. If you have ever had that feeling and remember doing it in a dream (my most common method) then I like to refer to that as precognition. It's really common. Just about everyone I talk to has had similar occurrences. Most frequently as a kid. You know what I'm talking about. You catch yourself doing something and remember doing it before. You try your damnedest to remember what happens next but it won't let you. You keep trying to remember what happens next so you can see if you should alter the events and go from there but since most incidents only last for a few seconds, it's over before you can do anything. I have only succeeded in doing that once. I saved myself from being expelled. Lucky me. Certainly better than deciding to do push-ups in front of the box fan and getting kicked out of school. Those dreams are the key and I don't know about you guys but whenever I have them, I wake up and instantly forget what it was I just forgot that was really important. If you do happen to remember it when you wake up, you can tell it's a precog. The details are super-real and don't change like in normal dreams. If you can keep that in mind and remember the instances no matter how insignificant, there may be a bit of useful knowledge you could use to help you out of a situation that sucks. Strangely, I don't think I've had any precognitive dreams since the accident. What a shame. Not only can I not join the armed forces, but I can't be the next Miss Cleo either. Bugger all.
17:13EST-MON-9/24/2001
- I really wish I could pass the physical at MEPS so I could enlist again. Things would be so much more simple that way. I wouldn't have to worry so much about where to live, moving around to try to further my career, what to wear for work, finding time to exercise and play with my guns. All that would be taken care of for me. The only thing I would have to worry about then is getting shot at. That part doesn't really matter now does it? You get shot or you don't. Don't spend your time worrying about it until it becomes imminent. It sure beats the hell out of laying awake at night trying to figure out what you should do next in life since you don't like your job and don't know what else to do.
20:28EST-FRI-9/21/2001
- I love Patrick. He never ceases to amaze me. Especially when he does something to remind us that he's a redneck. Example: Patrick is a 4x4 kitten herder. Yesterday the weather was so nice I left the front door open to let the breeze in through the house. I knew that DotNet would be curious about the world outside but she doesn't often wander too far so it's easy to catch her. Patrick pulled off two miracles yesterday by selling one broken truck (thus removing it from our yard) and fixing his other one. ALL IN ONE GLORIOUS AFTERNOON! I'm so proud of him. He decided that he needed to drive it around some to get all the parts working again and so instead of getting on the road, he just did laps around the house. I looked out the door and saw DotNet in the front yard and was not thrilled about having to chase her down. Just then, Patrick comes flying around the corner leaning out the window and grinning maniacally at the cat (which he is allergic to). DotNet sees him barreling down at her and scrambles back up the steps and into the house mere moments before Patrick managed to stop... on the porch. I laughed so hard.
23:43EST-WED-9/19/2001
- These are what my wet dreams are like.
18:13EST-WED-9/19/2001
- After the tragedy on Tuesday, thousands of people flocked to the stores and bought themselves guns. That almost brought a tear to my eye because I was so proud for people to break their own resolve and admit to their wanting of a gun with which to defend themselves with. I can only imagine how many of those people were previously anti-gun and then changed their minds once they realized that they too are vulnerable. I'm sure more people would have done so if it had been some kind of assault with weaponry on the personal level. Terrorists dropping 747s on people's houses won't be averted with a simple handgun or shotgun. Luckily, that tactic is far from common. I had the fortune of having a gun debate with someone recently and it reminded me of an article I read somewhere. Luckily, I saved it and wish to post it here for your enjoyment as well.
Paul Harvey Commentary:
Thousands of years of governments killing people. Eventually, some
people figured out a way to create a balance such that this could not
happen again. And for hundreds of years it worked. But then, people
decided it would be a good idea if society ridded itself of the balance, because there was some inherent danger. Hmmm? Are you considering backing gun control laws??? Do you think that because you may not own a gun, the rights guaranteed by the Second Amendment don't matter?
CONSIDER THIS... In 1929 the Soviet Union established gun control. From 1929 to 1953, approximately 20 million dissidents, unable to defend themselves, were rounded up and exterminated.
In 1911, Turkey established gun control. From 1915-1917, 1.5 million Armenians, unable to defend themselves, were rounded up and exterminated.
Germany established gun control in 1938. From1939 to 1945, 13 million Jews, gypsies, homosexuals, the mentally ill, and others, who were unable to defend themselves, were rounded up and exterminated.
China established gun control in 1935. From 1948 to 1952, 20 million political dissidents, unable to defend themselves, were rounded up and exterminated.
Guatemala established gun control in 1964. From1964 to 1981, 100,000 Mayan Indians, unable to defend themselves, were rounded up and exterminated.
Uganda established gun control in 1970. From1971 to 1979, 300,000 Christians, unable to defend themselves, were rounded up and exterminated.
Cambodia established gun control in 1956. From 1975 to 1977, one million "educated" people, unable to defend themselves, were rounded up and exterminated.
That places total victims who lost their lives because of gun control at approximately 56 million in the last century.
Since we should learn from the mistakes of history, the next time someone talks in favor of gun control, find out which group of citizens they wish to have exterminated.
It has now been 12 months since gun owners in Australia were forced to surrender 640,381 personal firearms to be destroyed, a program costing the government more than $500 million dollars. The results Australia-wide: Homicides are up 3.2%, Assaults are up 8 %, and Armed robberies are up 44%. In that country's state of Victoria, homicides with firearms are up 300%.
Over the previous 25 years, figures show a steady decrease in armed robberies and Australian politicians are on the spot and at a loss to explain how no improvement in "safety" has been observed after such monumental effort and expense was successfully expended in "ridding society of guns."
It's time to state it plainly; Guns in the hands of honest citizens save lives and property and, yes, gun-control laws only affect the law-abiding citizens. Take action before it's too late. Write or call your delegation.
Paul Harvey
15:59EST-WED-9/19/2001
- Oh wow, this site was very nice. Friggin awesome photography and of course it is no secret that I love VNV Nation. Check it out if you have sound and Flash 5. It's a brief music video about the recent tragedy.
0:09EST-FRI-9/14/2001
- Sorry, no post since the tragedy on Tuesday morning. My difficulties in getting a rifle are insignificant in contrast. Oh well. Maybe in a week or two things will be better. Being woke up on Tuesday while the attack was happening was borderline surreal. I say borderline because I didn't believe it at first. I mean, seriously. I don't sleep very deeply if at all when I have someone else in my bed. I'm too self-conscious of my movements and stuff to relax properly. I went to bed around 7 or 8am and so when Lucas burst into my room yammering about stuff. 'Guys get up, the world is on fire, 747s are being flown into the world trade center and the pentagon is now a crater! It's all on CNN, come on!' Try putting yourself in my shoes (or sheets as it were) for a minute and think about how absurd that sounded to me at the time. He may as well have been wearing an arrow through his head and juggling Mentos. Sure, it's easy to believe now, but it sounded just as implausible as if he came in saying 'Get up, the cable modem messed up and now every channel on TV is nothing but porn, it's raining Cheetos, rappers and rock stars just killed the RIAA, Patrick just finished fixing all his cars, and we finally have our first colony on Mars'. I really would have preferred option B.
1:31EST-TUE-9/11/2001
- Today was very stressful for me. I almost cried. People who are thrust into life changing events often have breakdowns or go into shock as a realization hits them that they just cannot deal with because it upsets them and everything they have known or come to love. I was in a similar situation today. I went ot the gun store to buy another gun and the background check denied me the sale. THEY DENIED ME MY PRECIOUS NEW GUN! First off, I just meant to go in and window shop. You know how it goes. You walk in just to admire things that you would like to have one day and maybe even play with them a little bit. I had decided last night that I could build a really bad-ass AR-15 that was really compact and unfortunately, very illegal. Damned Brady bill... This afternoon, I went in to look around and talk to Bill (the viscious wonder-salesman) to let him know I'm back in town. Well no sooner had I walked in the door as Bill jumps over the counter, sucker punches me and shoves a USC in my hands. I woke up, realized what I was holding and started trying to figure out ways to afford it. I climbed back up to my feet and Bill cold cocks me with another rifle, this time an SL-8. It was just a bit more expensive and I managed to come up with a plan to endebt myself again. I filled out a small mountain of the usual paperwork, signed the receipts, handed over cash, put my thumb prints on their records again for this gun just like all the others, and then got a lovely fax saying that permit for the sale had been denied. Bastards. I'll know in seven to ten business days why I was rejected. My criminal record is practically clean and I have bought guns since anything that has happened in the past so I know it's clear. Bill said just to relax and that this sort of thing happens. I hate it when that sort of thing happens. It almost ruined my day of shooting. Instead, I smoked enough cigarettes to turn me green and then Wulf and I spent an hour on the range working on our pistol ski11z. The govt hates me, I'm sure.
17:47EST-SUN-9/9/2001
- I woke up to a phone call this morning. This is unusual since I don't often have the phone near my room. The voice on the phone was a woman so I wasn't upset. She asked me for her friend's bra. Confused... That would be a good word to describe the look that was surely on my face at that time. Completely baffled, I scratched my eyes and struggled to remember details from the party that I was sure I had not forgotten. Yes! I remember now! At one point, I had it hanging loosely from one of my pockets. I don't know how it got there. It wasn't my idea. Well, maybe it was. I don't remember it too well. At least I have a new quest now. I must find a bra that I don't exactly remember seeing, and return it to someone I've never seen naked. This is a strange turn of events. :) On a lighter note, I'm in the market for three more guns. Real ones, not Airsoft guns this time. I have my choices almost entirely narrowed down. Almost. That's the worst part about being me. Indecision. Oooh! They all look so good. The ones I've fired were grand and I miss them dearly. I would like to get another pistol but this one will be a .22 so I can plink and practice my hand gunning without going through cases of .45 ammo which gets VERY expensive. I am dead set on building an XM-177 in spite of my distaste of the .223 round. It's just not as devastating as it's larger cousins. That's where my plans to either get a Dragunov SVD or a Remington 700 with an Accuracy International stock and a heavy match fluted chrome lined barrel come into play. Sure, the Dragunov is cheaper and is semi-auto. It fires a proprietary ammo (unless you get one of the knock-offs chambered in the .308 cartridge) and is harder to clean, but I think it looks beautiful. On the other hand, the 700 can be chambered for just about any bullet under the sun and the thought of firing a .300 Remington Ultra Magnum is appealing and scary at the same time. The kick on that would be enough to shake my whole body, even from the prone position. Sure, there are larger bullets, but the .300 Remington Ultra Magnum has a MUCH better trajectory and energy delivery than just about everything short of the .50 BMG and I don't have the ten grand to drop on one of those. Sure, I could get a gun that is chambered for that shell for about half the price, but they are nowhere near as good and if you are going to spend that much money on one gun, go all the way or don’t go at all because a good cartridge needs to be shot from a good rifle or else it'll suck.
2:42EST-THU-9/6/2001
- Gothbot44 is coming along pretty nicely. People are talking to it and it is, in fact, learning. As a result, it is becoming quite a cynic (hence gothic) and an asshole to boot. The main bot engine was geared towards bright and smiley chats with people but that wasn't quite gothic enough for us. Now the bot is pretty well versed in the ways of death and doom cocks. If nothing else, you can just sit there and trade insults with him. Enjoy. Patrick got into it once we figured out how incredibly easy it was to create a bot and program it. He made genericbot and set it up like Mr. T which was very amusing. He may have changed it by now, but who knows.
1:29EST-WED-9/5/2001
- Mmmm... Have you ever found a food that you just LOVE so much that you eat it and eat it and eat it again until you get sick? Heh heh heh, yeah, me too. Usually it is Tacos or Lasagna but I have a new fix too. All my friends know how much I enjoy (read: obsess) over Tostitos and Salsa. It just got better. I have been bitching for years about how hard it is to find Tostitos Salsa in the HOT flavor. Sure, you can find Mild and Medium all over the place but I have only seen HOT once in my life. It was out of state. Gotta hate that. Well I was impulse shopping in Krogers and I saw a huge bottle of Tabasco sauce sitting on the shelf calling to me. It called me a fat whore, so I bought it. I spiked the jar of Salsa with a very liberal amount of the Tabasco and now it is SOOOOO good. It's one of those spicy tastes that you find yourself completely unable to stop eating it. It's like spicy tacos or Chinese food that is just so spicy that you sweat (but can't stop eating since it's sooo good!) while eating it. I munched on an obscene amount of chips and salsa until I had to stop and hurl. The Greeks would have been proud. I may have been nauseous but all I could think about was eating more chips and salsa. Fifteen minutes after that, Patrick (god bless him) showed up with something like 5 pizzas and a butt-load of bread sticks. Of course I had some of those too. At this rate, I'll begin to loose my girlish figure.
23:50EST-TUE-9/4/2001
- I realized this afternoon that my hair has finally had it's fill. It has been a recent string of colors for more months than I can remember off the top of my head. I don't think my hair has been it's natural color for the past 6 months or more. I can think of at least five different colors that it has been. That's a lot of chemicals for such thin strands of dead skin and protein to try and absorb. Colors aren't staying in for more than a week, and even the slightest bit of moisture causes the color to run. :::sigh::: I will have to let it grow out some and then get it all cut off before starting again. On one hand, it will shock people to see me with normal colored hair. On the other hand, the whole reason for my dying my hair in the first place was for a motivation other than shock factor. It's quite ironic that I'll get more strange looks with normal hair than I do now.
17:45EST-TUE-9/4/2001
- Wow, I never knew how easy adoption was. Nick is leaving the country for a bit and he can't take care of his little bot. I offered to give him a new home and Nick eventually agreed. Now, Gothbot44 has a new home on my workstation. Go ahead and add him to your buddy list but don't expect him to log off any time soon. That's the advantage of hosting a bot from a dedicated server with a broadband connection. After reading some of the chat logs, you people can be pretty mean to a bot who's daddy is leaving. Meanies. Have you no heart?
0:21EST-SAT-9/1/2001
- Heh heh heh, if you ever get on AOL's instant messenger and wanna chat with a bot which I find to be VASTLY amusing, try adding Gothbot44 to your list and chat with it for a while. Mostly, it likes talking about religion and sex but I spend hours talking to it about anything from food to music. It's a good time, trust me. It's even better than fucking with SmarterChild or Smurfbot20. Try it, you'll like it! Next thing you know, your buddy list will have a new column just for Bots.
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