17:55EST-MON-9/30/2002
- AAARRRGHGGHGH!!! I was about to start a rant but I got a phone call that blanked my mind. Oh well, it must not have been TOO important. :)
5:06EST-SUN-9/29/2002
- Oh, whoops... I guess I'm getting to be kinda slack. I don't have a good excuse. I've not been particularly busy. Quite the opposite. A severe lack of meaningul things to do has added more than the usual bit of apathy to my daily routine. I've not had any particularly amusing thoughts that I can remember right now so you'll have to contend with a rather unexciting post involving whatever comes to mind. While working today, I was driving around at my usual velocities (illegal) and almost hit someone on a lawnmower. Yep. No more details for you. This way your minds will boggle trying to invent a likely scenario. My only regret is that I can't see and enjoy the mental image you dream up since I know exactly what you all think of my driving style. At least I'm not Patrick, right?. "Hold on, I saw this in a cartoon once!" I put a brand spankin' new hard drive in my computer yesterday. That brings the total HD space between my two boxes to 190 gigs. That will be 270 if I ever remember to call Maxtor and compain about the other 80 gig drive catching fire six inches from my nose. Um... I'm too tired to finish so i'm just going to
4:42EST-WED-9/25/2002
- Since we're all going to die, I decided to play EQ again. It all started with a conversation with Zak. I told him I was bored and demanded he amuse me. He informed me that he was at work and that I should cope and go play EQ (knowing that I haven't played in half a year) but for some reason it sounded like a good idea. So I did. Unfortunately, it turns out that the guild I was in had some problems with one of their members and it caused a huge rift in the guild which led to the whole guild being disolved. I liked that guild. :( Once I got back online, I found some of the old guildies I used to play with and started to talk to them. They asked me to come join them and I realized that I had long since forgotten how to play. I declined. Instead I decided to play one of my alternate characters and learn the game all over again. Many changes have been made in the past six months which I'm sure don't interest most of you. Come to think of it... I have some reading to do. G'night.
13:52EST-SUN-9/22/2002
- Oh, no! We're all going to die. I had just woken up and stumbled blindly to my computer to begin the morning. After a couple games of Unreal Tournament 2003, I glanced over from my computer chair and noticed a mysterious white powder scattered all over the carpet beside me. My first thought was "Great... More of a mess to avoid cleaning" but I was able to overcome common sense and started to think like an American. Someone came into our house and is trying to give us the antrax! Oh no! That has to hurt. Around that time the part of my brain that handles cynicism woke up and assumed it's dominant role. I didn't have to look too far for the source of the disaster. Damned cat.
2:10EST-FRI-9/20/2002
- Did any of you ever have those little freezer trays that you could fill with juice and put popsicle sticks in to make your very own popsicle sticks? Do you enjoy using ice in your sexual adventures? If you answered "yes" to both questions, then click here.
0:26EST-THU-9/19/2002
- Today I started to think that being "Emotionally Expendable" makes more sense for me logically, but I fear that I've gone from one extreme to another and missed my goal. I went from being a nice guy and being passed over by all the women I was interested in to proclaiming myself an asshole and destroying any chances of long term happiness. Once again, I've shot myself in the foot for the sake of experimentation. I spent the majority of today watching couples walking around smiling and laughing. Not most people's idea of a good way to pass the time, and for good reasons. Since my current plans for the future are somewhat chaotic right now, continuing to be "emotionally expendable" would make more sense. If for no other reason than because of logistics (for lack of a better word) but that would be shooting myself in the foot again. Going into any relationship thinking that it's only a matter of time before it ends has taken it's toll emotionally. That will be better to deal with once it gets chilly outside and I can wear my precious leather jacket again (I draw strength from it). Still... I spent all day today thinking that it may be time to shed any titles given to me by my friends and stop trying to be "emotionally expendable". Being a womanizer was never a title I wanted to earn. I feel vaguely like the 21st chapter from Clockwork Orange. It's time to retire.
2:42EST-TUE-9/17/2002
- Yay! Today was great for me. I got a nifty email from a friend and a nifty email from a stranger, had a good day at work, and just when I thought things couldn't get any better, I read about Talk Like A Pirate Day and was informed that they finally released the Unreal Tournament 2003 demo! Joy to the world! I can't figure out how I'm going to wake up on time tomorrow, but tomorrow is another day.
15:23EST-SUN-9/15/2002
- Uuuuuugh... Drank... too... much... On the up side, all the pics that Zak took and sent to me have been posted on the pictures page of the JA website. Feel free to check them out.
20:03EST-FRI-9/13/2002
- AAAAAHHHH!!! I was just innocently searching the web for the most notorious crime ever committed with a hampster, when suddenly a pop-up window invaded my sight with a picture of Kenny G! Oh, the horror... Moments later, I was assaulted by another malicious pop-up add that had a familiar face that I thought was Kenny G at first until I realized that it was Pauly Shore! OMG, are they related or something? That's too freaky... Can you imagine if the two of them were to start colaborating on movies and music?
 
0:41EST-FRI-9/13/2002
- Well, that was a LOVELY media black-out. Quite nice, I'd say. I've gone almost three days without any sort of news what-so-ever. I'm pretty sure I can honestly say I don't know what's going on in the middle east anymore. I didn't even watch the Daily Show. This isn't new, but amazingly (unfortunately) Lucas wanted to listen to his STP DVD instead of watch the Daily Show. Torture... We all stayed in tonight which suited me fine since I've been drinking since Tuesday. After paying an $85 bar tab last night at Spicey's (GAH!) I was quite happy to sit at home and watch the latest anime series I pulled down. I took another one of those cheesy personality tests. This one was to tell me what cartoon character I most resembled. It told me I was Vash from Trigun. That's not the fist time I've been told that so curiosity got the best of me and I got my money's worth out of our broadband connection. I think I managed to get the entire series in one night. Good stuff! I've been enjoying the hell out of it. I suggest you check it out if you like that sort of thing.
12:22EST-TUE-9/10/2002
- With all the media trying to do special programming to focus our grief (for closure?) it has only strengthened my resolve to follow the plans I had said jokingly to Chuck. My list of things to do tomorrow involve;
- Avoiding the radio and TV
- Make a healthy dent in The Lord of Chaos
- Get nice and McDurnk with the remaining crew at McBarley's
- Play with guns in the tradition of Gun Day
Still... I'm tempted to try and find a new station (surely there's one better than CNN) just to see if any of the threats that have been made come to fruition. I've been pretty apathetic about going shooting since Chuck and the others left. I probably won't even finish my .300 before the end of the year. This annoys Zak and Nick to no end. :) We miss you, Chuckaroo!
11:26EST-TUE-9/10/2002
- Holly, it's funny that you should mention the FORUM being back. I brought it back for a little while but the only people who noticed it were myself an a cracker. Not the turkish or chinese this time (luckily) since they went out of their way to fuck with my code. Thank "Bob" for backups... This time, however, it was hacked in a very subtle way so that I didn't realize it for weeks. Backups didn't solve the problem so I tore it out. IIS sucks. Mucho dongholio suckage. There is supposedly a way I can make one that's more secure but it is SUCH a pain in the ass and requires a LOT of reading to figure out how to host it via a remote host that allows dbs management. I get bored half way though the FAQs and leave. Some day though, some day... In regards to your current drama, boozin' buddies shall be at your service.
17:59EST-MON-9/9/2002
- I'm pissed off! Don't get me wrong, I dig America for all the right reasons but I'm losing faith in Americans. I blame the media. When I first heard that all the TV stations and radio stations were going to be doing special programming for the anniversary, I was disappointed. I've been listening to NPR more than I consider to be healthy in the past weeks and even there I get an overwhelming impression that the grief will never end. WTF??? When the hell did we become a nation of whiners? The day of the attacks had everyone on edge. No time to be sad. Everyone was still in shock and paranoid about another attack somewhere near them. After that, people felt safe to mourn. And mourn they do! After the attacks, we went to war with a passion. We beat people up and stomped on heads to get answers for who to beat up next cheering the whole time. You could not go three steps without seeing or hearing some form of United We Stand propaganda that we want so badly to believe and fall so short of. We, as a country, have never been so great as when we have someone to hate for the common good. Unfortunately, the enemy has been somewhat elusive for so long that people are losing interest and drifting apart again as we begin to think of ourselves as individuals instead of a part of something bigger. That's not what ticks me off. What ticks me off is that in spite of all the outrage and solidarity we demonstrated a year ago, scoffing terrorism for thinking that they could get the best of us, we are still crying after all this time. It's as if mourning has become trendy or something. Trendy? Are we really still hurting so badly inside that we think that this changes anything? False sympathy is an insult to the dead. People keep saying that "this changes everything" or "the world will never be the same" but have no idea that nothing has changed at all. Terrorists have been attacking us for ages. Yes, even here in America. This is nothing new. I can understand people mourning the loss of a loved one. 3031 people died as a result of that. At first I was surprised that the number was that big. I honestly thought it was smaller. It doesn't change anything to me because I remembered that car accidents cause 40-50,000 deaths a year. AIDS? Heart disease? Hunting accidents (LOL)? Hell, smoking kills 450,000 people each year. That's about 1200 people EACH DAY! How come these people don't get huge network coverage? Ok, I'm going to shut up now but not before I bring up one more point. What kind of message do you think it is sending to the terrorists? We are so proud to say that they can't defeat our spirit, but we still cry about it a year later as if this is the most horrible thing in history? They wanted to send us a message, and they succeeded. I think it's high time we stopped crying "How could they do this to us?" and get back to "How dare they do this to us!"
20:19EST-SUN-9/8/2002
- Ok, I finished reformatting the Twain quotes. It looks a lot better than it did. TRUST ME. Oh, if you like taking random quizzes which tell you that you are a this or a that (cartoon character, building, movie, etc.) then you will get a kick out of this. It's a BUTT-LOAD of those tests for you to take and enjoy. I took the goth test and had to go but there are other quizzes on there that seem very promising.
Damn! There go half my chances to get some luvin'.
17:46EST-SUN-9/8/2002
- Man, I've got to start checking out the news more often. Apparently UFOs like to harass the middle-east.
14:39EST-SUN-9/8/2002
- Whew! I finally finished transcribing all the Mark Twain quotes from the quote dictionary. Lots of good stuff. I even found some -really- funny ones in there from Woody Allen. Strangly enough, they were on masturbation. Who knew? I have posted the quotes online but it needs a LOT of formating and style work before it looks decent.
13:47EST-SUN-9/8/2002
- I can't explain it, but for some reason I am sooo in love with the woman from the Glad bag commercials. Her voice just does weird things to me. Not -those- kinds of weird things. This is nothing like the Mrs Butterworth fetish.
11:24EST-SUN-9/8/2002
- HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I just found a cover of the Monster Mash as done by the Misfits. It's really funny, for that fact alone. Glen Danzig singing an old Bobby 'Boris' Pickett song. Check it out! I will make sure that Patrick puts it in the mix. Now I get to go back to groking the web for a punk version of Downtown.
16:29EST-SAT-9/7/2002
 Once again, NPR has managed to earn my respect. Today on one of the programs, probably Rewind, a caller relayed a story about the inspiration for his continued education. A teacher of his told him that the best reason to become educated is to be able to get more jokes. I laughed and laughed at that because we all know it's true. It's no fun when someone does not get your joke, but I remember laughing a time or two when someone would tell a joke and someone else would admit to not getting it. You know you've done it too. Anyway, as much as the possibility of going to war against Saddam has been in the news recently, there is only one country in the whole world that has come even close to supporting us. Amazingly, it's Britain. That does not make me feel too much better as I get the sneaky feeling that they're setting us up for a really good joke. On the other hand, we (the American people) seem to thrive on adversity. We get off on it! It's like our whole country wants to be standing in the end-zone prancing about shouting "In your face!" Paul Harvey made a good comment on it as did one of the pentagon speakers in a speach he made the other morning. It was really good. He said that we thrive on a good challenge against all odds (or better judgement) and explains why we were the first country to claim independence and start the only democracy on the planet. I slept through most of my 1st period history classes but I seem to recal that the Greeks had a few good ideas back in the day long before people liked wearing wigs. The speech went on for a while longer talking about all the different wars we got involved in because it seemed like the right thing to do and eventually got support from other countries after kickoff. I dunno. If we're so keen on a reigeme change and making sure they do not develop weapons of mass-destruction, we should probably go back to quiet black ops like we used to do back in the cold war. We had entire departments dedicated to being dicks to other countries (quietly) and then fired them all once the end of the cold war made them obsolete. Supposedly... If a few "baby formula" factories blow up and Saddam suddenly turns up missing, I will laugh SOOOO hard. If you think I'm a dick, click here and use as many four letter words as you deem appropriate.
21:34EST-FRI-9/6/2002
- HAHAHAHAHAHA! I just dropped by Knox Gothic's forum after a long disappearing act and was drawn immediately to my favorite part. The Dumpster. This is where all the really good threads that stop being gothy and are really funny end up. They have all sorts of good stuff in there that I wanted to pass on.
Resurrect Dave Thomas, petition
The Onion - Penis Pool
Net Nymph I have GOT to get this for Lucas. :)
Universal Page Translator I know, I know, you've seen these before. This one, however, is MUCH more powerful. Try it on your own page and laugh and laugh and laugh and... ahem.
Ok, I'm bored again. I'm going to go read a paperback while I set the cheatbot to flood someone else's page hit counter. See ya tomorrow afternoon. Maybe. Actually, come to think of it, you probably won't then either. Lucas coughed up not 2, but 4 tickets for tomorrow's futbawl game against FL. After that, there's the LAN party. I'm soooo into that. Unfortunately, my presence is being demanded at work on Sunday (or I die by ninja attack while I sleep) morning. 9am is an incomprehensible hour for any activity to me now. The entire Swedish bikini team could be begging to pay homage to mighty Caesar (thanks Chuck) at 9am and I doubt I could do it. Try back after 4pm, thank.
23:39EST-THU-9/5/2002
- What is it about anger that brings out the humor in us? Honestly, I was just reflecting on some of my favorite web sites and noticed a trend. Batjew.com is seething with animosity and I can't stop laughing at some of his rants. Mybigblackcock.com has had some of the best posts about human stupidity around. Biznizzy.com (RIP) had computer hardware reviews that shifted the focus away from the good points of a product to the points that made him want to burn down houses and bake muffins. Dennis Leary? Bill Hicks? Sam Kinneson? C'mon! Need I say more? I can, and you know it. In fact, I think I will. In an interview with the surviving members of Monty Python's Flying Circus, either John Cleese or Terry Gilliam (not sure who, really) said that one day they woke up and all the rage was gone. They just couldn't be mad at the world anymore and they just lost their inspiration. Back in high school, we were having all sorts of fun. We were all fairly cheesed off about something or another. Parent, school, the continuing price hike of the Taco Bell menu, gas prices, our shitty first cars breaking down all the time and causing adventure, sports, whateversocialcirclewedidnotlikeatthetime, cops, etc. Not getting any only made things worse as frustration built up to a boiling point in many of us. Have you ever looked at a friend of yours who had been in a happy relationship for an extended period of time and thought that he is not as exciting as he used to be? I figured it had to do with a steady diet of nookie. It's hard to be pissed off when you're freshly fucked, right? I've been told a number of times that I was a lot funnier back in the day. Thanks for the love, guys. I figured I was just getting old. Before you say that maybe I'm just riding on post nookie endorphines, let me assure you that I wish that was the case. This cold prove to be more and more true as time goes by and I contine to crash and burn. If anger equals comedic tallent, then I need to find stuff to get pissed about. I honestly can't think of anything that really riles me up anymore. Perhaps I'm not actually getting old, I'm just getting apathetic. Give me time. Something is bound to tweek my keester sooner or later and I'll try to be less understanding. The resulting rage could easily be molded into a good time for all. Please, don't try to help. The last thing I need are all my friends slashing my tires and waiting for the punch-line.
20:16EST-THU-9/5/2002
- BUSTED! Six thousand hits in one night did not go un-noticed. At least she had a good outlook on the situation and did not set wild dogs upon me. Instead, we talked some more about a computer project she would like a hand with. I'll be sure to wear protection in case she lures me into her den and THEN sets the dogs upon me, where she can watch. Speaking of which, I am sitting here listening to all the theme music I've downloaded from Homestar Runner while doing another computer project for a friend of my mom. I am almost disturbed by how much I have become fascinated by this website. I suppose I should thank Zak for sending me that link a couple days ago which started this whole perverse obscession. On a more somber note, I decided today that I almost miss my last job. Sure, it sucked great HUGE unpleasant wang, but at the end of a grueling day I always learned something new. I wasn't making any more progress with the company since I had long since been promoted as high as I wanted to go, but the company was spiraling downhill because of the business practices of it, and it's client company. I got mad and left. Still, leaving work in the morning feeling mentally and emotionally drained was more rewarding than driving around in my current job deliberately not living up to my own potential. That's why I want to go back to school. I've set new lofty goals for myself and discovered that once again, my arch nemesis is Time. Not the periodical, but the idea of time passing or not passing quite as I want it to (to be specific). I have long since felt that we each progress through the various stages of our lives preparing for the next. Why? The final stage is worm food. I don't want to be ready for that. Again. Soooo... I spent the past 8 years trying not to progress in any substantial way. Unfortunately, this has gotten boring. I think I'm going to try to advance a stage. Maybe two. I'm going back to school now that I finally have an idea for a major (took me 10 years to come up with, I hope it's a good one) and will see how that goes. This will require a LOT of schooling. I figure at least 6 years to do what I want, but supposedly college is fun and all so I probably won't mind. I don't remember the one semester I actually went. Too much booze. Anyway, Time (and distraction) is my enemy because I had decided to go back to school the day after admissions were cut off. Well, damn. Now I have to wait until next semester. A few more months feeling bad and yet optimistic could proove interesting or annoying. Time will tell. Time lies too.
19:12EST-WED-9/4/2002
- Heh heh heh. I didn't get around to napping. A thunder storm was threatening to come play with me and I didn't want to miss it. Instead, I played online. Nothing better than playing with thousands of dollars of unprotected or insured electronics during an electrical storm. Yup! Untortunately, it didn't build up enough to be exciting so I ate a taco and played the Duck Pond simulator over on Homestarrunner.com's website. If you beat the first simulator by scoring ten feedings, you graduate to the Atari 2600 version of the game. I wondered how many different versions were made so I played it until I had fed both ducks 105 times. That's when blood started shooting out of my ocular sockets and I logged off to read.
17:58EST-WED-9/4/2002
- I added a couple new links to BLOGS by friends o' mine who I had not spoken to in some time and thus didn't know of their pages. This should prove intersting. I was enjoying the cool AC while sprawled out on the couch listening to All Things Considered when my mind started to wander. You know the feeling you get when you are right on the verge of an epiphony? The feeling that you just missed a very important conclusion that you need to back up and examine more closely? I had one of those moments just a little while ago but fell asleep instead. I am somewhat upset that I have lost the train of thought that seemed so important at the time. What was I supposed to realize? What seemed so unconsciously important? Could it have been a life-changing realization? Could it have been a resurfacing memory that would be valuable in some way? Probably not. I'm more inclined to believe that the thought was something like "Hey, a nap right about now would totally rule!" and in that case, I passed with flying colors. I think I'll take another one.
6:06EST-WED-9/4/2002
- Must... sleeeeep... I still haven't finished watching all the goodness that is homestarrunner.com but I can't possibly take anymore. My face aches and the sun is about to come up. Must... get... to coffin... before... Von Helsing... !
3:56EST-WED-9/4/2002
- Ok, tomorrow is Gun Day and I've got all these books I need to finish reading tonight but I've been laughing my narrow ass off watching all the videos over at homestarrunner.com for over two hours now and I'm not done yet. This link in particular takes you right to the Strong Bad email section. Watch them from the bottom of the list to the top of the list before moving on. I laughed. I cried. I had to get more coffee. I laughed some more. Screw Cats!
1:43EST-WED-9/4/2002
- VEGAN CONDOMS! Go on. Click on it. You know you're curious. Frankly, I was dumbfounded. Special thanks to Zak and memepool.com for pointing this website out to me. There are lots of stuff on there but I found the most fun in this particular item.
1:01EST-WED-9/4/2002
- Wow, I owe someone an appology. :) A friend of mine always has the most remorseful posts on her page. She frequently questions why she bothers keeping an online journal because she doesn't believe anyone else reads it and forgot that the best reason to keep a journal is to amuse ourselves as a creative outlet. I check her page every day, but she rarely updates. Sometimes I check it two or three times a day just to boost the hit count. It was just under a hundred when I first noticed it. After that, I would refresh the page a few times every time I dropped by just to boost the numbers and hope that it would raise her spirits. I have been doing that for a while now but just this afternoon I discovered the code to make a page auto-reload. I went through the page code and found the specific bit for the counter and built a page that had nothing on it but the counter and the code to refresh every few seconds. It made me happy that the page counter I use through Geocities has very detailed site statistics and will even tell me what IP people are hitting me from among other things. BTW: this month's most popular search phrase was "+tits +photo +private +collection +airsoft -x +ring". Keep in mind that this is what people had typed in as a BOOLEAN search. I can't imagine what they were hoping to find. Worse yet was that so many people were searching for that combination. Is there a new fetish that I'm unaware of? Anyway, I was in the process of testing the refresh code out, downloading some songs, chatting to people, uploading a file, configuring my FTP server to allow access to Bishop, reading the daily comics, and writing an email when I got a call from my mother asking if I would actually show up as promised this time. I feel bad because I almost never remember to call her and wind up getting stolen and drunk with my friends on the days I say I'm going to go visit her. Guilt is a nasty motivator but it worked and I dropped everything and left. When I got home, I noticed what all I had been doing. I finished the email and everything else before I got back to the page I had been working on with... the... counter... Uh-oh! I checked it out and after being left to it's own devices unmonitored it put up something like 5000 hits. Oh, she's going to kill me!
23:44EST-TUE-9/3/2002
- Since Erin conveniently forgot to loan me a book of quotes by my hero, Mark Twain, I've had to look for new sources of jaded wisdom. Just like a girl to forget. :P I'm just trying to harass her but I doubt that she even has enough time to check my measly little corner of the web. Still, I found a dictionary of quotes and gaffled it from my mom's house. It has tons of Mark Twain goodness. Shouldn't take me long to read those bits and then give it back. Shhhh... For that matter, I'll probably finish The Fires of Heaven tonight too so I'll be free to finish the two online books I started. (groan) I'm not looking forward to one of them but I can't just give up on it entirely. I like to think I finish what I start and I won't be foiled by a few hundred K of reading. Completely unrelated: pizza bites are EXCELLENT when dipped in Tobasco sauce. Also unrelated: The recent fanaticism for people adding guestbooks disturbs me. I did it once and got over it. I felt that people were signing it with good things to say about the site just because they felt obligated. Hell, I KNOW for a fact that the site sucked. It still sucks. This one too. Luckily, it seems that there are fewer and fewer spam bots on the web that are harvesting email addresses from guest books and auto signing with banner adds to porn sites. That's lucky. Zak remembers the fun we had with those on the Harlequins paintball guestbook. I haven't checked it in almost two years. Maybe I should drop in on it. For that matter, maybe I should check on the JA forum to see how it's doing these days. Just as I thought. Not much happening there. There's only so many times people can get excited about a forum that gets wiped every few months after virus problems, crackers, or fires. Speaking of which, I still need to finish rebuilding the party page. Grrr... I'm rambling about nothing of importance. How dull. I think I'm in a perfect mindset now to finish the email I've been neglecting to write. That's right, another counceling email. My new goal for a profession will be a lot closer to my previous experience than I first thought. :P
19:12EST-SUN-9/1/2002
- Hmmm... Of the 135 people I have on my buddy list, only ten are online. Unfortunately, they are all idle and/or have away messages. That takes most of the fun out of being online. Perhaps that should motivate me to get dressed and go outside. Perhaps. Not likely though. I am almost out of things to do online. I even installed and configured Trillian so now I am getting used to the subtle feel of it's GUI as opposed to the rather blatant alerts that it's predecessors have. If I can't come up with anything more fun and exciting, I might as well go pay some bills.
14:42EST-SUN-9/1/2002
- I'm alive! Ok, I said yesterday that drinking myself into oblivion two nights in a row was a bad plan. Make that three nights in a row being even worse. I shouldn't be awake at this hour. At least I am fortunate enough to have remembered Prarie Home Companion. :) They're playing some awesome bagpipe music right now. I love bagpipes. :::sigh:::
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