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The Tangent At Hand
.......... This is the part where I pretend that you are in the room with me and I'm just talking out loud. Free flow thought. Rambling. Ranting. Tangenting on my own tangents. Y'know, stuff. I may update this page as seldom as several days at a time, or twenty times a night depending on how wired or bored I am at work. You get the really good quality tangents when I'm hyped up on supercaff. In fact, I think I'll go get some right now. That'll force the creative juices for sure!
.......... Beware! The author of this page does not condone the use of conservative thought, antidisestablishmentarian ideals, Marxist economics, or anything Ford makes. Read the following drivel at your own risk of understanding me.

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21:15EST-THU-10/30/2003

Ok, so I want to play a prank on my woman. She's just as jealous as I am so I got a chuckle out of the idea. I want to leave a pair of panties (not hers) out where she's sure to find them but not be too obvious. Behind the couch, under the bed, or something like that. That way, she gets mad when she finds someone else's panties. The trick here (the funny bit) is that I want the panties to be SO GODDAMN BIG that when she unfolds them it first seems like a large tent or small car-cover. I can see the look on her face now when she wants to know who I've been fucking while angrilly trying to beat me with a pair of panties a sumo wrestler could sleep in. I wouldn't be able to control myself. I'd die of laughter. The downside is that this is inviting retaliation pranks and it's hard to play a prank on someone that involves such a delicate emotion like jealousy and come out without a knife wound or at least still being friends. I know I'd probably have a hard time convincing myself that it was funny if a similar prank was pulled on me. Hell, who am I kidding? She'd be hard pressed to pull a similar prank on me where it seems like she's slept with someone with a smaller penis than mine. The evidence could easily be lost in a carpet and would probably look like the doobers on the end of your shoe laces.

17:15EST-FRI-10/20/2003

Well, I'm older now. I keep forgetting about that. Recent events have overshadowed everything else in my life. The advantage to being single is that you never have to worry about your woman cheating on you over and over and over again.