22:06EST-TUE-5/29/2001
- Some times you just have a bad week or a poor turnout for a party (less than 40 at this one) and you just want to mope around and feel down. I've been like that for a couple of days now until Zak sent me this little gem: How To Make Your Own Hydrogen Bomb. What a bargain! Oh yeah, I guess it hasn't been all bad. Yesterday I joined a cult. Not a bad one with Kool-Aide and comets or anything. This one is rather more specific and less violent. I'll get you the link as soon as I get back in front of my home PC. Maybe I'll even upload pics from this last part. Maybe I'll just sleep (DotNet willing).
5:29EST-FRI-5/18/2001
- I figured out a good thing to do with all the pennies and other miscellaneous change that I come up with during a day. Most of the time when I go out to eat (every single meal) I see one of those coin donation boxes on the drive thru. I don't know about you but I come up with a lot of pennies during a day. I even stop to pick them up whenever I see one on the ground. When I was in the hospital, my father stayed at one of the Ronald McDonalds houses since the hospital I was in was so far away from home. That meant a lot to me. It meant more to me that all my friends came to visit and fuck with me while I was down, but it was cool having my father there too even if we do not get along great. Every time I eat at McDonalds, I throw a handful of change into the donation box. Hopefully some other kid will have the same good fortune I did. Krystals has donations for the Boy Scouts of America. That is another great organization and I donate to them too. Sure beats throwing them at friends and leaving them in the take-a-penny-leave-a-penny trays.
3:25EST-THU-5/17/2001
- No news is good news. That's not to say I'm not doing fun things to get into trouble. I'm just not going to tell you about them right now. Sorry. You'll have to read about it later.
21:08EST-TUE-5/15/2001
- I've found a new weird thing to do for fun and amusement. I've been getting into political debates with people I meet on Sparkmatch. Yes, it's completely pointless but then again so are political debates to begin with. There usually isn't a definitive right or wrong since everything is a matter of perspective anyway. I just get very upset when I hear that someone is trying to take away some of our rights and personal freedoms. We may take some of them for granted and that's very dangerous. Once it becomes the norm, it is just a matter of time before more atrocities are committed. A government that is afraid of the people is a government that works FOR the people but a people that is afraid of it's government is 1984. I'm going to get back to work now.
2:42EST-TUE-5/15/2001
Hell yeah!
19:57EST-MON-5/14/2001
- When lesbians are having rough sex, do they ever say Who's your mama? I was just wondering. I know guys joke about saying things like Who's your daddy, and what does he do? but that just conjures a priceless mental image of strap-ons and flannel. Just wondering.
22:38EST-FRI-5/11/2001
- I had to break someone's heart today. No, I did not break a girl's heart so don't worry. NO I did not break a guy's heart romantically either (freak). I was talking about guns with someone earlier while I was at work (on a call actually) and this person loved guns like I do but was very cocky about being in a fire-fight. I guess he has seen too many movies because shootouts are not at all like you see in movies like Hard Boiled (great flick by the way). Nobody walks through a hail of bullets raining death down upon the foe. Instead, you are damned lucky if you get three or four people before you die like a bitch. I've played paintball for years and airsoft takes that level of realism to a whole new level. Sure, I've got lots of guns and I love to play with them. Do I want to get into a fire-fight? Hell no! I've learned that if someone starts shooting, RUN. You will -not- survive. I consider it a good day if I take out one person before I get my ass shot off. I've got a -lot- of tactical and shooting experience but if someone gets a good angle on you YOU WILL DIE. There is some skill involved, but not as much as you might think. Luck plays a big part of it. You'll be lucky if you don't run out of ammo before they do. You'll be lucky if you see them before they see you. You'll be lucky if they don't hit you. With that being said, I still prefer CQB games. Much quicker and a lot more kills. Arguably, there is more of a chance for skill to come into effect. Hell, look at SWAT teams. They don't take chances though. They deploy at least 5 people for every one confirmed hostile and often includes a sniper or two along with an entry team. Everyone is wearing full kevlar and carrying full auto SMGs, flash-bangs, frag grenades, shotguns pistols, and chewing gum. All this for one guy in a bank with a revolver and a note. Remember Wako? They took tanks. Carry a bigger stick, but still know fear. Anyway, the moral of the story was: RUN and hide like a scared little girl. Tomorrow, drink a margarita and celebrate breathing. Unfortunately, the male ego kept the guy from admitting that he would much rather be playing mini-golf than getting into a gunfight but I expected as much. A friend of mine who is big into martial arts named James took an airsoft pistol to class one day to demonstrate the proper way to deal with an armed opponent or get shot. They weren't teaching people how to disarm someone of a loaded gun, they were teaching people to do whatever the fuck the psycho wants. Do you want to risk that? I don't. I've been dead before and it's not nearly as amusing as a margarita.
1:02EST-FRI-5/11/2001
- This is a call for help. Not for me, exactly, but for a friend instead. He's been on a quest for a long time and has been unable to find the object of his gease. If anyone can help me help him, I would really appreciate it. He has been trying forever to find some form of media about gay midget clown porn. Videos, images, whatever as long as it includes all the aforementioned criteria. He's gone through great lengths to find this and turned up nothing. I pride myself on being able to find odd or rare stuff but I'm unable to do this search due to my presently being at work. Please, help a brother out!
19:34EST-THU-5/10/2001
- Guns. I like them lots. I've already had this discussion before but I just felt like mentioning it again for my own happiness. I like EverQuest but it's pissed me off for two days in a row now and I'm starting to get burnt out on it again. At least this means I'll finally be able to get some sleep soon. Of course, once I stop being obsessed with it I'll wind up finding something else to obsess over. Unfortunately, all my other hobbies cost a substantial amount of money to be obsessed with. My aquarium is pretty much done for now so at most I can spend a couple hundred bucks on it. My computers are about as pimp as I need them to be so I am in no hurry to spend more on them right now. My car still needs minor cosmetic work so I'll certainly be making every effort to do that as soon as possible. It is now spring so I'm back into my gun/paintball/airsoft kick again with a passion some find disturbing. I am trying very hard to keep from dropping another two grand on this sport. It's not like it is an expensive game to play. It really isn't expensive at all. Quite cheap compared to paintball but there is a subtle difference. In paintball, someone will buy a particular paintball gun and spend every last cent they can scrounge on accessories or paint. In airsoft, since most of the guns basically perform the same out of the box and are then modified to be very good at special tasks, it becomes quite common for someone to spend thousands of dollars on a gun -collection-. If I were to get back into paintball I would wind up getting either an Autococker or Angel and spend a healthy chunk of each paycheck trying to upgrade the hell out of it. Grand total: between two and five thousand dollars for one gun depending which gun and the size of the hole in my pocket. If I were to turn around and spend that same amount of money on airsoft stuff, I would have a dozen guns or more that are all pimp and specialized for different roles. Someone once asked me why I needed to have so many guns (he was talking about real guns, of course) and I just had to look at him like the moron he is. How can you not understand that different firearms function best in certain environments? Nobody wants to be stuck with a pistol in a situation which requires long range shooting or high penetration such as standoff situations. At the same time, nobody wants to have a sniper rifle when you have someone breaking into your house where a pistol or shotgun would work best. If you are part of a swat team and you are trying to secure a house with multiple target points in it, you want to be able to have a high ammo capacity to help with suppressive fire if things go wrong. That's where an SMG truly shines. My arsenal was geared towards protection and I couldn't afford an SMG without selling body parts so I felt completely justified in having everything I had. The point is to have the right tool for the job and this is every bit as true in airsoft as it is in the real world. I've got a PSG-1 that I will soon be able to take out players who are close to a hundred yards away. That's all well and good, but if someone with an smg, battle rifle, or even a pistol gets close enough to me, I'm hosed. Mostly I like playing with my G3 SG-1 which is a great battle rifle and has served me very well with just a moderate power upgrade. It would be great if I had a few extra clips since I'm a bit heavy on the trigger in a close battle. When I run out of ammo, the pistol I carry with me has been invaluable! I can't think of a single time where it's saved me, but it has definitely changed the outcome of several situations where I was able to stay in the game just a weee bit longer.
Whoah... I just took a sip of my coffee and after adding nine (joel) packets of sugar, I still can taste the coffee. Gah! I can barely taste the sugar too. This bites. I can't be losing my taste for sugar, can I? I'm not a diabetic yet!
18:16EST-THU-5/10/2001
- Lucas loves his camera. He's taken a lot of pics in his days and has an annoying habit of keeping the incriminating ones. Many of them are of me while we were drinking. He even had a couple of me when I had long hair. Our newest House Girl and a random girl who wandered in both said I looked really sexy with long hair. I was stunned. I wasn't too thrilled with it when I had it because it seemed like such a pain in the ass to maintain. If women find me attractive with longer hair, I'm not opposed to giving it another shot. Maybe this time I'll have more patience with it. Heather thinks I looked like an asshole with long hair. I'm still an asshole. I don't get it. Oh well, I'll give it another shot anyway and see how it goes. In the mean time I'll continue to eat carrots and take the vitamin E horse pills I picked up. They're the coolest looking things too! You should see them. They're clear gel-caps that are reminiscent of bath beads except much smaller and not soap (I hope) plus they are supposedly good for you. I read the ingredient list and one pill is 1333 percent of your daily requirement. I take 4 a day so I'm sucking down 5333 percent of my daily requirement. Not bad for three dollars. At this rate, some of my old scars might heal a bit more. Hell, with five hundred times more vitamin E than is required, I might become flame retardant too. If you don't get it, never mind. The joke obviously wasn't meant for you.
18:12EST-WED-5/9/2001
- Slack. Pure, refined Slack. You can't find slack any more lazy or unmotivated slack than you can around our house right now. Notice I haven't been updating quite as often as usual. The temptation to just stop going to work has never been stronger. This weekend I had a blast. I played EverQuest all day Saturday and had a good time doing that and hanging out with friends. Sunday morning Wulf and I went to play Airsoft with our new friends in Chattanooga. That was great fun too. I'm now re-hooked on it and I'm all about rebuilding my collection into the death collection I've been fantasizing about. Not in a morbid kind of way. I just -loooove- guns and think they, cars, and decent stereos are visions of pure beauty. I'm not excited by nature. Someone can look at a flower or a sunset and think it's the most beautiful thing in the world. I, however, am fascinated with designs of man-made goods. I drool over chrome, hard edges, and complex looking designs are a beauty for me. Cars with lots of lines and complicated dashboards get me excited. My pulse quickens when I lay my hands on a really kitted-out rifle or handgun. I become light headed when I set foot into a masterfully designed and decorated building that looks like someone went overboard in trying to combine the unique styles of Art-Deco and Max Headroom. I have tons of things I need to do to my current guns to make them severe ass kickers but at the same time I really like the idea of having more gear to fondle and curl up with at night. Yes, I sleep with a pistol under the pillow and I've been known to fall asleep with a rifle in my arms. Mostly because I was just really tired and happened to fall asleep while cleaning it but the story is funnier if I leave that part out. Anyway, Monday I went to work and the coffee machine didn't have any cups in it. I was heart-broken! All I wanted in the whole world was a cup of supercaff coffee but I was denied. I stood there with nine packets of sugar waiting for the coffee to mix and pour and watched in horror as the liquid of life poured down the drain where a cup -should- have been sitting to catch it. I meandered around for an hour or so unable to concentrate or wake up. Lack of sleep from playing Everquest was starting to catch up to me. Patrick came over to see when I was going to take lunch and we decided that there was no time like the present. Neither of us really wanted to be at work and it showed. We went to the nearby deli and declared our revolt. After taking the longest lunch we could imagine, we went back to work long enough to grab our stuff and clock out. Tuesday we rode together and stopped at the nearby McDonalds for a bite on our way in. We came to the consensus that we didn't want to be at work then either. Maybe it was the sickness Lucas had spreading to us. Maybe. We wanted nothing more than to just go home. We declared our independence again and after enjoying our burgers and fries, we promptly went to Krogers, Papa Johns, Krogers again, Vernon's house, and the video store before returning to the house we longed to return to so badly. Only two hours later. Today started out much the same way. Patrick and I were driving to work (again). I asked him if he was hungry and wanted to stop somewhere to eat (again). He mentioned that he really didn't want to be at work (again). Today is different for me though. I wanted to give it a shot. Even if Patrick isn't going to be here to pal around with and make the job less like work and more like high-school I still will have other friends coming in today and I desperately need the money if I'm to buy tons more Airsoft stuff and repaint my car like I've been promising myself for three years now. That's a lot of money to save up for someone like me. I go through money like there's no tomorrow (there wasn't before, why should there be one this time?) and that makes high dollar purchases rare. Oh well, that's why I've got credit cards. Now all I have to do is try to get one of my credit cards to stop trying to fuck me and worship the other one some more. I'll probably coast through the rest of the week and then bust ass for the next couple of weeks. I'll even try to not play EverQuest quite so much during that time since it's hurting my sleep schedule so much. It's not that I'm staying up really late playing it or anything. Not this time. Instead, I've been playing until about an hour or so before I normally go to bed and then read and play with my fish until sunrise. The problem is that I keep waking up earlier and earlier in the afternoon. I only get 4 hours of sleep a day some times now. Back in the day I used to have to fight with the alarm to get me up in the afternoons around 4-5pm. Now it's a miracle if I don't wake up of my own accord before noon. I've heard of people turning into vampires before but is it possible to turn... normal? :::shudders:::
17:35EST-FRI-5/4/2001
- HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
17:59EST-THU-5/3/2001
- Once again I am convinced that Wa1-Mart is run by communists and Baptists. In all reality, I don't have anything against communists. The ones I know are kinda neat in a hippy-ish kind of way. I don't think all of them are really commies though. I think they just like to be different and I can respect that. Wa1-Mart, however, sucks. Why??? Well, LET ME TELL YOU! Eric and I went to a Super-duper Wa1-Mart in Knoxvegas the other day so I could get some Legos. Remember Legos? Weren't they the bomb? Yeah, I know. They flat out ruled the battlefield of the toy wars. They -were- the battlefield of our floors though what with stepping on them and all. Still, they ruled and I will always love them for it. Interesting tidbit: The company is owned and run by a woman named Susan. You go girl! Anyway, I used to -loooove- playing with the Technics series. They had neat stuff like gears, cogs, axels, chain links, pulleys, motors, and everything else you needed to make a working 4x4 truck with a motor, steering, independent suspension with a positraction transaxel, and a cup holder. Anything you wanted! I won a science fair with them by making a robotic arm. Neat stuff. Now, back to Wa1-Mart and the Tale of Two Suckings. They had a lot of Legos. They even had a lot that said Technics series on them. Most of them weren't very technical though but were actually Star Wars stuff. Don't get me wrong... I like Star Wars. A lot. I'm not obsessed over it though. I was just really really upset that I couldn't find anything with a motor in it. Dammit. That was one sucking. The second sucking is when I went to the electronics section another time to get the Star Wars trilogy boxed set. They didn't have it. They didn't even know what Star Wars was. The girl called her manager who called her manager who got three other employees together and tried to figure out what I was talking about. "Star Trek?" No. "You sure?" Yes. "We've never heard of it" THEN WHY THE HELL CAN'T I WALK FIFTEEN FEET IN YOUR STORE WITHOUT BEING ASSAULTED BY SOME EXPLOITATION OF JARJAR FUCKING BINKS??? JarJar sucks too. If you disagree I would like to go ahead and announce; "Fuck you, you are wrong". Normally I would defend the rights of people to have their own opinion even if I think it is wrong like people who are pro-choice or pro-gun control. Not this time, boy-o. I've seen tampon commercials that I liked better than JarJar. Still, these fuckwads didn't recognize the arguably best trilogy ever made which has inspired an almost religious devotion in people which has a bigger number of followers than Scientology (another religion started by an Author, but this time as a joke and a bet). Still, Wa1-Mart didn't feel that it was important enough to carry in stock even after flooding their shelves with anything that could possibly have a SW logo or JarJar's ugly head on even though it was opening night for Episode One. That was the second suckage. Anyway, why was I so heart broken about not finding the lego set I wanted? Simple: I wanted to build a device which would press the 8 on my keyboard every 6.25 seconds. That's it. Don't ask. It's for EverQuest so you probably don't care. This weekend I will try Toys-R-Us because I honestly don't wanna grow up. For those of you who may have noticed that this post was a bit more intense and dramatic than most of my posts, I realized why last night as I talked to an angry customer. I write as if I'm talking to myself. No biggie, this is my journal after all, right? I'm much more active in person though and quite a ferocious conversationalist after a cup of coffee much like the one I'm drinking now. I also realized that I was writing boring stuff and when I touch upon subjects which I find fascinating and yet very delicate, I tended to be very diplomatic in my writing in hopes that I wouldn't offend anyone. I don't know why I wouldn't want my page to offend anyone. I offend people every day. People who see it happen laugh because they think it is funny. Perhaps it is. I'm too blunt at times. I am Shane's complete and total apathy. Be on the lookout for more boisterous journal entries from now on as I welcome supercaff coffee back into the warm folds of my daily diet much like a moist vagina welcomes a... battery powered friend.
18:28EST-WED-5/2/2001
- Well, I have been quite slack it seems. Aside from playing EverCrack, working, and skipping work to play EverCrack the only things I have really done was declare this Semi-National Boxers Week. That's right, it's boxers week so lounge around your house in your boxers until your heart is content. Watch a movie, read a book, surf the web, cook some ramen, or call a friend. What –don’t- we do on Semi-National Boxers Week? Go outside. Most people in their boxers aren't that attractive and the cops like to harass a man walking outside to get the mail in his skivvies. Those spot lights are bright! Anyway, I've got another fish and a butt-load of hermit crabs and snails for my fish tank. It's really shaping up. It makes me happy. I was even motivated enough to fix the link to this page from the old site. Amazing, isn't it? Stranger things have happened. I don't feel creative or funny right now. I haven't had my coffee. I showed up for work and bought my Dr. Pepper, programmed the machine to make me a cup of ultra-sugared and whitened coffee, went to get a stiring straw and eight more packets of sugar but when I got back to the machine, it had forgotten to add a cup to the mix so there was nothing to have. I think I'm going to cry... I've been so slack, I have even forgotten to pursue sex. Don't get me wrong, I consider it to be one of the most base physical needs but have no desire to be in a real relationship right now and unfortunately, that is typically the price attached to physical love. That reminds me, I have a couple of emails I need to send out. See you all on the 26th!
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