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Joke Collection #28
SUC MI PUGODA
CUNTONESE CUISINE
6969 Fellatio Blvd.
Escondildo, CA 12698
281-6969
A LA CARTE DINNER COMBINATIONS
$2.69 each Includes Smeg Roll and Fortune Nookie
Cum Drop Soup 1. Goo In Hand..............$9.69
Fresh every 2.7 days For those dining alone
Pee Yu Platter 2. Goo Wee Chick............$6.99
Clothes pins extra Sloppy seconds no extra charge
Hoo Flung Poo 3. Cum Too Soon.............$6.99
Napkins and raincoats provided Order early, these go fast
Suc Sum Tit 4. Suc Mi Wang..............$6.99
Children's Special Traditional Chinese Meatloaf
Yung Poon Tang 5. Sum Dum Chick............$4.69
No take out orders You get what you pay for
___________________________
LUNCHEON SPECIALS 6. Fuc Mei Slo..............$6.69
Not available after 10:00 PM
Sum Yung Chick........$6.99
Different and Delicious 7. Lik Mi Clit..............$6.99
A Lip Smacking Oriental Delicacy
Won Hung Lo...........$6.99
Chinese Meatballs 8. Cho Kon It...............$9.99
Not For The Light Throated
Sum Dum Fuc...........$9.69
Same As #1 But With Extra Sauce 9. Fuc Sum Now..............$6.99
For Those In A hurry
Chu Sum Twat..........$16.99
Dinner For Parties Of 3 Or More 10. Wai Tu Yung..............$4.99
Not Available On School Nights
Suc Mi Pork...........$9.69
Chef's Special 11. Tung Sum Chick...........$8.99
Chef's Special
Fuc Yu Man............$6.69
Speciality of The House 12. Sum Gulp Cum.............$9.69
Subject: Ram Pam Sim Wimm
A man suspected his wife of seeing another man so he hired a famous Chinese
detective, Ram Pam Sim Wimm, to watch and report any activities that might
develop. A few days later he received this report:
Most honorable sir:
You leave house. I watch house. He comes to house. I watch. He and
she leave house. I follow. He and she get on train. I follow. He and she
go in hotel. I climb tree - look in window. He kiss she. She kiss he.
He strip her. She strip he. He play with she. She play with he. I play
with ME. Fall out of tree, not see. NO FEE.
A guy walks into a bar. There's a big sign which says "free beer
for life to first person who can pass the test!" "What test?" the guys
asks. "Well ya' see, there's a tradition that the first guy who can pass
the three challenges gets free beer for life, But no one's ever done it."
"First, there's a gallon of pepper tequila, and you have to drink the whole
thing at once, AND you can't make a face while doing it. If that doesn't kill
you, then there's an aligator out back with a sore tooth, and you need
to go out there and remove it with your bare hands. Finally, there's woman
upstairs who's never had an orgasm ever. You need to make things right
for her." "Yeah,well thanks but no. That sound crazy. I mean what kind of
idiot would drink that much pepper tequila, and it gets crazier from there."
But, as often happens in bars, the man drinks a few beers. And in the
fullness of time, what used to sound crazy now seems like a real good
idea. "Shhwears zat Pepper Tekeela?" he urps.
First he grabs a hold of the bottle of pepper tequila with both hands, and
knocks it back in big slurp with tears streaming down his face. Next, he
staggers out the back door. And soon all inside hear the most frightful
roaring and thumping. Then silence. The man staggers back into the
bar-his shirt's all ripped up and his body has big scratches.
"Now where's that woman with the sore tooth?"
Arti was a real looser. Every job, every idea he ever had turned
out wrong. He thought to himself, if I went into business for
myself, maybe, just maybe I can do well. He thought and he
thought, what could he do. It came to him, he would be a HIT MAN.
The next day he put a classified ad in the newspaper reading...I
am Arti, I will be your HIT MAN give me a call and I will kill
anyone you want rubbed out.
Well that very day Arti receives his first call. The caller asks
if it were true that Arti would indeed kill anyone and Arti
assured him that was the case.
The man told Arti he wanted his wife killed. Arti said, "Fine,
but how much will you pay me." The man replied, "$1.00." Arti
said, "No way, bullets cost more than that. The man replied,
"Look take it or leave it, many people would kill my wife for
free but I don't want to be obligated."
Arti thought it over and figured he could use the practice so he
said, "OK, tell me about your wife, how can I find her?"
The man said, "In the produce department at Food-Mart, every day
at four o'clock she is there, she wears a yellow outfit and is
always complaining about something.
Arti decides that he will go there and choke her at least it will
save himself the cost of bullets. Sure enough she is in the
produce department of Food-Mart complaining about the fruit being either too hard or
too soft. Arti reaches behind her and chokes her as she fall to the floor
she makes a gasp, the manager of the produce department turns
around and sees what has happened and calls out. Arti lunges at
the manager and chokes him. Just as the manager falls to the
floor a lady sees what has happened and screams out. Arti grabs
her chokes her and runs out of the supermarket. Of course, he is captured.
What does the headline of the newspaper read?
ARTI-CHOKES THREE FOR A DOLLAR AT FOOD-MART!
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