||Back|| ||Next||
Joke Collection #30
Never Gonna Stay In Your Hotella No More
The Manager
Y.M.C.A. Hotel
Ft. Lauderdale, Florida U.S.A.
Roma 27 jan. 1997
Dear signore Direttore,
Noew I am tella you story wot I was a-treated at jour hotella. I am a-comma
from Roma as tourist to Ft. Lauderdale and stay as a-younga good man at
your hotella. When I comma in my room I see there is no shit in my bed -how
can I sleep with no shit in my bed? So I calla down receptione and tella: "I
wanta shit" They tella me: "Go to toilet" I say:"No, no I wanta shit in my bed".
They say: "You'd better not shit in your bed, you sonna-wa-bitch". What is
sonna-wa-bitch?
I go down for breakfast into restorante. I order bacon and egga and two
pissis of toast. I getta only one piss of toast. I tella waitress, and point at
toast: "I wanta piss". She tella me: "Go to toilet". I say: "No, no I wanta
piss on my plate". She then say to me: "You betta not piss on the plate,
you sonna-wa-bitch". This is the second person who do not even know me
calla me "sonna.wa.bitch", and why is your staff replying "Go to toilet", is
that a modern tella? I do no undestand, please tella me!
Later I go for dinner in your restorante. Spoon and knife is laid out, but no
fock. I tella waitress: "I wanta fock". And she tella me: "Sure, everyone
wanta fock". I tella her: "No, no you don't understanda me, I wanta fock on
the table". She tella me: "So you sonna-wa-bitch wanta fock on the table?
Get your ass out of here!" How comma this hotella tella the guest in such
bad manner?
So I go to receptione and ask for bill. I no wanta stay in this hotel no more.
When I have paid the a-billa the portier say to me: "Thank you, and piss on
You". I say: "Piss on you too, you Sonna-wa-bitch. I now go back to Italy".
Directore, I never gonna stay in your hotella no more, you sonna-wa-bitch.
Sincerely
Salvatore Spumoni
A burgler broke into an empty house in the middle of the night. He had taken
just a few steps when he heard a voice boom out in the darkness "JESUS IS
WATCHING YOU."
He stopped dead in his tracks, waited a few minutes, when he heard nothing
else he began tip toeing forward only to hear "JESUS IS WATCHING YOU!!"
again. He froze and began looking frantically around to see who had said
that. Finally, over in a dark corner he spotted a bird cage and in the birdcage
was a parrot. He said to the parrot, "Did you say 'Jesus is watching you'
just now?"
The parrot said "Yes, I did."
The burgler said "What is your name?"
The parrot answered "Clarence"
The burgler said "That's a stupid name for a parrot. What idiot named you
Clarence?"
The parrot said "The same idiot who named the rotweiller Jesus."
||Back|| ||Next||
|