So, Delta looks set to take out the Gold Logie on Sunday. And really, doesn't she deserve it? With music and an illness that's touched the hearts and minds of Australians everywhere, she's just a wonderful glowing beacon for our fine country.
Not missing a beat, she's back on her feet and she's even releasing a new single just in time for the Logies called 'Dance! Like Your Dick's on Fire'. Here's some sample lyrics:
Dance! Like your dick's on fire
Dance! Like there's a scorching in your pants
And you need to find an extinguisher
Dance! Like your dick's on fire
Dance! For the fireman to put this one out
He's gonna need to blow it hard...*
It's a little different, a little riské, sure. But you know what they say, you have to keep growing and evolving... and also try and muscle in on the Minogue sister's niche market. They've had it too good for too long.
With songs like that, it's easy to see how she's such a strong contender for the Gold Logie... Huh? What's that you say? Oh... the Logie's are awards for television? Not music? Or dating a tennis player? Or having cancer? Oh.
I didn't know that being on the news constituted being a television personality. At this rate, next year the Gold Logie will go to Kevin from Broadmeadows for getting in shot behind Ray Martin and waving at the camera during Ray's exposé on the dangers of ham and ham related products on A Current Affair.
Anyway, I'm off to party like it's my last day as a 28 year old. Dance! Like my dick's on fire...
*My apologies for the terrible double entendré, I couldn't think of anything better. It's not even that much of a double entendré really, it's quite singularly entende.
That was the whole purpose of this little bit down the bottom – to say 'singularly entende' – I find that quite amusing. Try saying it aloud, it sounds quite posh. Feel free to use it liberally, along with my newly coined insult – c*ck-wallet (e.g. I have to censor myself because some c*ck-wallets have swear sensitive email accounts).
You can email the Gold Logie winning Stilt-boy at jimjimbo75@yahoo.com.au
Go ahead, ask him a question... or offer him sexual favors, he'd like that...
