WELCOME TO THE:

DR. PEPPER: PROMOTING INDIVIDUALITY, OR NOT?

Assholes buy into Dr. Pepper's donkey shit ad campaign

ARE YOU A COAL MINER? NEED HELP? CLICK HERE!

This idea kicks so much ass, I can't believe I didn't think of it before

I HATE RAPPERS

After reading this, some "gangstas" are gonna try and kill me for using their lingo

P. DIDDY IS A MORON

P. Diddy is a stupid name

SUGAR CEREALS ARE FOR WHIMPS

Real men eat Cheerios and/or Corn Flakes

MTV SUCKS ELEPHANT COCK

MTV is run by biased fags

WHY I GET PISSED OFF IN THE BATHROOM

Stupid people pissed me off at the bathroom

THE NEXT PERSON WHO SAYS "DANCE" TO ME WILL BE EATEN

I went to a dance and I hated it

BAGPIPERS ARE DUMBASSES

Pagpipers are gay because they wear skirts

THE TRUTH ABOUT SANTA AND THE TOOTH FAIRY

No one knew the truth about Santa and the tooth fairy until they read this

LOVE SONGS SUCK

People think I'm correct about love songs

DON'T WANT TO LOOK LIKE AN IDIOT? PULL YOUR PANTS UP

I hate people who sag

DANCING IS FOR MORONS

After reading this, people will think I need diapers

CLICK HERE FOR YOUR HOROSCOPE FOR TODAY

Horoscopes kick ass

GOING TO A CONCERT? THEN QUIT YOUR DAMN SCREAMING

I have gone deaf in one ear due to screaming at concerts

QUIT BUYING WEIGHT LOSS VIDEOS

People are too lazy to get off their asses

PEOPLE DON'T KNOW HOW TO BREATHE

Too many stupid people! Make it stop

THE HELL WITH THE DAMN CHICK FLICKS

Chick flicks are bullshit

ALIEN HIGH SCHOOL GIRLS FROM HELL!

High school girls are aliens

CANNIBALISM RULES

Cannibalism does not suck

A BREAKTHROUGH IN HEARTBURN TREATMENT

A kickass method to combat heartburn

HATE IS GREAT!

Fun

DAVID BLAINE: INSPIRATIONAL

David Blaine inspires people

QUIT GIVING STUPID BABIES STUPID TOYS

Buy me some stuff instead

CAN'T DANCE? BE AN IRISH DANCER AND JUST JUMP UP AND DOWN

I eat Irish dancers for lunch

REALLY, HOW CAN WORDS BE "BAD"?

Shit isn't a bad word

TREE HUGGERS ARE STUPID

I hate tree huggers

I HATE MY CLASSMATES

My clasmates can go to hell

MY ELEMENTARY SCHOOL PRINCIPAL SUCKED

I had a shitty principal

MY COUSINS SMELL BAD

My cousins eat poo poo

PEOPLE HAVE NOTHING BETTER TO DO THAN WATCH SHITTY MOVIES

"Chicago" is a mind-raping movie

JAMES TAYLOR IS A HORSE

I will piss on James Taylor

RECIPE FOR MY WORLD FAMOUS DOG STEW

I eat dogs

FRANKIE MUNIZ CAN KISS MY ASS

Frankie Muniz has been forced to eat my shit

I HATED THE MOVIE "SEABISCUIT" BECAUSE...

Horses should be eaten

PEOPLE WHO NEED TO BE KILLED TODAY

People need to die

CLICK HERE TO FIND OUT WHAT I DO WHEN I'M BORED

I get bored a lot

READ MY PROFOUND AND THOUGHT-PROVOKING POETRY

I'm the world's best poet

I WORK FOR THE CIA AND I'D KICK CODY BANKS'S ASS

More stuff about my cool life

I HATE HIPPIES

Hippies will tear down society