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August '04

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I was raised by a cup of coffee

Quote of the Month
"I am the opposite of cock blocker. I am the cock receiver!" -- Kathleen, 8/27

8/1
restaurant?
"You're so lucky we love you." -- Mom, and it's true.

8/7
Sluiceland
"I don't want to hear the word shlong come out of your mouth ever again. Going in is another story." -- Tompy, to, who else? Hoter.
"There's been a lot of things in my face but I don't tolerate spit!" -- Tompy

8/10
Borders
"I really want for that child's face to be on every canister of chai that we sell." -- Hoter, impressed by one boy's affinity for our chai.
"Chai makes him stop crying! Our chai makes babies stop crying!" -- Hoter

8/11
The Olive Garden in Somethingsville, NJ
"I have to tell you the whale penis story!" -- Betsy's clever segue into an anecdote from Fluke, by Christopher Moore.

Cute Waiter: Can I get you cawfe or anything for dessert?
Bryanna: Say that again.
Cute Waiter: What, cawfe?
Bryanna: Where are you from?
Cute Waiter: Long Island.
(Bryanna impressively disproves for me that the cute waiter is from New Jersey)

"I am smooth like ex-lax!" -- Bryanna, about the preceding conversation (which you really had to be present for to appreciate)

Bryanna: I really wanted the shlong.
Betsy: Sorry. I grabbed it first.

8/19
online
Andrew: Sara!
Dan: Isn't here, said the computer.
Andrew: Well that's disappointing. I haven't spoken to Sara in weeks. Not that I don't love you too, computer.
Dan: [Syntax Error: Command "Love" Not Found]

8/25
Pepper's?
"Hoter posted, and Ben posted twice! It was like the apocalypse!" -- Kathleen, about Livejournal

8/27
Christopher's, for Ben's birthday
"It's really easy to just accidentally kiss people." -- Kathleen
"I am the opposite of cock blocker. I am the cock receiver!" -- Kathleen, realizing too late that what she meant was "cock enabler."

8/28
NYC
"Give me your wallet, and I'll have sex with you." -- Andrew's attempt at mind control, which David thought would make a simply splendid pick-up line.
"I protest Bush every time I fuck someone." -- David's response to Kasheik's entreaty that he come to the protests.


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